Coming home from the Bahamas was a complete shock to the system. Forget the sniffles I’m developing from recycled plane air and sudden plunge into below-freezing temperatures. I’m still trying to figure out how I’m going to lead a normal life without a self-serve ice cream machine!
I have seen paradise and I just may never be the same.
Our Paradise Island vacation went off without a single hitch. When I tell you it was perfect, you might need to see that far off look in my eyes to believe me. I came home well-rested and relaxed and spent the entire day today in a state of shock.
Where was my wodka tonish ? Why am I wearing seven layers of clothing? And when, dear god, is it going to be hammock time again?
From the criminally low price we paid for our all-inclusive hotel package, I was expecting some pretty humble accommodations. I was delighted to be totally and completely wrong. The grounds were beautiful, the staff was outstanding (the fire limbo dancer, Action Jackson, and I married at a small ceremony at lunch on Tuesday), and the beds didn’t even come close to collapsing when all five of us piled on playing ‘spoon drawer.’
Now that’s quality.
For five days Biscuit, Neff, Kate, Stan and I ran around shoeless, made difficult decisions like, pina colada or daiquiri? or one shot of rum or two? and threw back rum and juice cocktails while playing cutthroat games of Spades and Egyptian Rat Screw. Basically, we spent five days doing absolutely nothing.
It was heaven. And I want to go back!
Not that freezing-ass cold New York City is hell exactly, but I could sure go for a warm wind, a strawberry daiquiri and all five of us piled in my bed giggling about silly and slightly creepy inside jokes about filling our rum holes. You know, paradise.
Photo by Biscuit. More photos coming soon.
*Not quite vodka and not quite tonic. But after drinking strawberry daiquiris all day, you don’t much care.
I knew I should have hid in your suitcase.
Did you go to my favorite restaurant? Did you bring me cigars and booze?
No and no. I didn’t leave the resort except to visit Atlantis and I didn’t buy one damn thing the whole trip. Amazing really!
lucky lucky fish! i have to wait THREE months to go on holiday. btw.. i was wondering.. u said there were 8 of u going on the holiday.. how come only 5 of u got to run around shoeless?
Sigh. This is not good. We just had our first real snow where I live. Two hours stuck in traffic on the way home do to poor road conditions. And now this. I. am. jealousy.
yay for heather!! Glad you had a great trip. If you get a chance, take a look at my pics from Lisbon. -gregg
I am from The Bahamas and I am DYING to see some snow!! Oh to wear seven layers of clothing in dec, instead of sweating in your shorts
Nice hammocks. I didn’t know other people played (and called it) Egyptian Rat Screw
Nine of us went to the Bahamas, but the couples went to make whoopee on Eleuthra, and five of us went to Paradise Island. We all met up at the end.
So, so jealous. De-lurking to say I am glad you had a wonderful time. I am however, glad you are back because you make me laugh but I am needy and selfish.
Which resort did you go to? Do they run deals frequently? I am all about the vacationing for a reasonable price and could use some Bahamas advice!
glad you’re back! and i’m surprised no boys have complained yet that you’re now mrs. action jackson.
but most importantly, was that YOU on the food channel last night at the cookie swap in the red shirt and long purty hair?! if so, it was neat to see you! 
The trip sounds fabulous. Just wanted to say that I saw your lovely cameo on Food Network’s “Winning Holiday Cookies” last night.
The ice cream machine can be yours for a mere $2,000!
You can imagine my surprise last night when I was was contributing to my typical 10 hours per week of food network and saw you on it! You looked fab! And what beats xmas cookies in the summer?
Can you give us hints on how to find that criminally low price for the all-inclusive vacation?
Also, how’s married life with Action? Did he come back to NY with you? Are you Heather Jackson now?
I suspect that Action has many lunch wives. The huge gold dolphin nipple piercings led me to believe he’s not very conventional.
Well, the hotel had a special running when we signed up. I know other people there paid WAY more, but I’ll find a link for you…
Another lurking sneaking out for a comment! Oh, to go someplace warm! I spent last week with no electricity, an inch and half of ice with snow on top. I’m now happy with life’s small luxuries of heat, running water and TV again! I’ll just have to get some peppermint schnapps and have hot chocolate instead of a Daiquiri!
I would just like to point out that long before she was Ms. Fish-Jackson, she was Ms. Fish-Biscuit. And she ALWAYS WILL BE, MAA HAA HAA.
Is better to have lounged and lost than to have never lounged at all.
Welcome back, frozen fish
Hey Fish! I am glad you had a great time! Me and my husband did an all-inclusive trip to Mexico for our honeymoon. I was blown away by how nice it was for the little money we paid for it! Maybe next time, we will try the Bahamas!
Welcome home. Assvice for plane rides and travel…Airborne. Good stuff. I always get sick on planes and this stuff has helped. It’s no pina colada, but it doesn’t taste too bad.
Hammock Time? Yes, please.
ah, a little hammock time sounds divine right now! glad you had a good trip!
the jealousy is consuming me….
Welcome back!
My envy is reaching elephantine proportions. Glad you had a good trip.
fyi…i shall use the term “elephantine proportions” for at least the next week.
Ok, im really confused. Did you really get married? who is Jackson? HUH?
damn that place looks really really good.
What is this about you appearing on Food Network? I am going to watch that Cookie show tomorrow at 6pm (I’m obsessed with Food Network anyway). You hardly mention cooking… confused!
with everything else going on in your life back here, the timing of that trip was perfect. I’m so glad to hear that it went without a hitch.
(Per KK’s confusion) I love it. Out of a few comments rumors of Fish’s marriage will whirl through the Internet. Bwah-ha-ha. Let’s get started.
oh so she’s not married… Sorry us canadians are not very good at picking up on stuff….
I’ll take two…two shots of rum that is!
Ciao,
Teri
http://www.herestohappywomen.blogspot.com
I WANT HAMMOCK TIME!! Colorado is cold. *pout* And I want a guy named..well who cares what his name is so long as he brings me free drinks (the umbrellas in them are optional) and tells me I’m beautiful.
Admittedly, I am most certainly vacation-envying, but more here in the midst of a cold Italian early winter wanting the rules to “Egyptian Rat Screw…”: please to oblige? -V.
I know a lot of restaurants are regional, but thought I’d share this little tidbit of information with you. Ryan’s steakhouses have self-serve soft-serve ice cream. Having worked in a “dairy bar” for a number of years, I am able to make the “perfect” cone and my family likes for me to make them when we go. I often find it amusing to see some poor child trying to use one of those machines and end up with one little “plop” hanging over the side of their disillusioned cone. Thanks to my mother for giving me the restraint gene. Otherwise I’d be cackling fiendishly everytime I ate at Ryan’s.
Hi there…found your site when I was searching for Action Jackson LOL jsut got back from my 3rd trip to the Bahamas in 3 mths (well I got back on the 7th of April and I’m still having serious signs of withdrawl). I love Action, can’t say that we got married but he’s really an awesome guy – met him on the first trip and we caught up with ezch other on the next 2 trips…too funny. I’m not sure if you’ll ever even read this since the last post was in December – but I just wanted to say that I share your love of Paradise Island…for the last 3 mths I’ve been trying to figure out a way to live down there – it’s not as easy as we’d like it to be…that is unless one of the boys *really* wants to get married LOL
Hey there. I was looking for Action’s email or web address and came across your site. Do you have a connection for him since “you married him on Tuesday at lunch”. Is that code for sleeping with him? You can email me at angela@heavenlyideas.com
thanks so much.
Action has EMAIL? I don’t know why that surprises me so much. And goodness NO, I didn’t sleep with him!
My husband and I know Action Jackson (real name Whitfield Morley) real well. We have gone to Paradise Island for 25 years. He may look unconventional because of his job but he is very good person who makes many female friends. I have to admit I never heard of him ‘marrying or getting engaged’ to anyone. I will have to ask/tease him about that. We just got back so will have to wait for next year.