this is totally the calm before the (make out) storm

One of the nicest things about life right now, is that when anyone asks, ‘How are you?” I get to say, “Good. Really, really good.”

I almost feel like I shouldn’t elaborate. Like, I could jinx myself and wake up back where I was a few months ago, sleeping through entire weekends, hiding from life. But here I go anyway. Now, I know that angsty posts about how hard life can be tend to be more fun to read, but right now, I’m not feeling too angsty. I’m feeling really grateful.

Work is great – what a change from the environment I came from. To have meeting where the word “feelings” is used, and to constantly hear, ‘Great job! I love it!’ To really like where I spent my day – that in and of itself has been the ultimate catalyst for my attitude shift.

My family is in a relatively good spot these days, too which is also something of a relief. When I called my father this afternoon and asked how he was, he said, “Good.” Not, “Oh, I guess I’m doin’ alright.” or the standard, “I’m real damned depressed.” Good.

My apartment is supremely tidy, there’s food in the fridge and clean clothes in the closet. If cleanliness really is next to godliness, then holy shit, look at me. Insert chorus of angels here.

I have worries, of course. Money is uncomfortably tight these days. My jeans even tighter. But I’m slowly getting a better handle on both of those things. And overall, life is very peaceful. You know what’s bound to happen, don’t you? Some boy is going to come along and screw it all up – wreak havoc on my tranquil little world.

I sorta can’t wait.

54 comments to this is totally the calm before the (make out) storm

  • G

    Did someone in tight jeans ask for havoc to be wreaked?

  • Boy, you really do know how to tempt fate, dontcha?

  • I know exactly where you’re coming from. Only excited for the RIGHT boy to come along though.

  • this evening, i met the boy i’m gonna marry. messed with my tranquil world too. i’m hoping you meet yours soon as well. :)

  • athena

    i cant stop laughing!! funny funny entry!

  • KK

    im sorry to say this, if its too seems too good to be true, it probably is. i hate men. men seem to pick up on that. so they hate me too.

  • Responding to KK, I have the opposite problem. I hate men and they misinterpret it as me wanting to go to bed with them.

  • B of maine

    Actually Fish, the fact that you are a happy Content independant woman with some healthy self confedence is very very attractive. That alone will attract the kind of guy that will Rock your world. We (guys) are attracted to dark as well but the Challange of a dark women fades Quickly. In either case we don’t know what to do once we get an Independent self confedent Beautiful person wrapped next to us. But it is lot of fun trying to figure it out.

    That said boys are basicly mean throw rocks at them. The one that does not run and hide is the one you want.

    Smile love yourself and by all means DUCK!

  • I disagree. If it seems too good to be true, then maybe, just maybe, it *isn’t* too good. I think, more than likely, it’s what you’ve been working so hard for all these months in NYC. Good for you, Fish! Isn’t it perfect when it all comes together and all is right in your world?

  • Merry Christmas, fuzzy slippers, grilled cheese, and wreak havoc in your own way with a smile of course.

  • anna

    Happy entries are better than sad ones. thanks for the hope…

  • Well, I needed this. Those feelings of “things are gonna be all right” are essential from time to time, and right now is my time. This is my winter of discontent, and an income is needed. But so is that redemptive feeling of hope that comes from such simple pleasures– like a clean closet!

    As far as making out, I could use that as well… but I just inadvertantly discovered that my ex-girlfriend (the one I should have married, and always held hope for) …is. Ah, well….. there is still a future. Thanks for the reminder!

  • Great post. My mantra and always my first toast whenever out with the chicas has always been…”Here’s to happy women.” I am so glad to toast you, and others soon to be, despite tight jeans and tight budgets.

    Ciao,

    Teri

  • Makes me want to make a positive entry of my own. Focus on the good things:)

  • Glad to hear you are on an upswing. Having a good job is an amazing catalyst!

  • YAY for you Fish! You deserve it. Leaves hope for all of us who are discontented with some things in our lives right now.

    Not only am I jealous of your super new job, but of your clean apartment as well! But your post makes us all realize that eventually things will get better.

  • Congratulations on your nomination for a BoB Award.

  • Rock on ma sistah! Am longing to be where you are.. you are an inspiration to quit crap jobs (great money be damned!) and no – angsty posts are not more interesting.. they’re easier to write.. posts of happiness that come from a place of contentment are much more difficult to come by. Also – the “Feels Like Four” post was so well crafted.. should go in your favorites

  • Christina

    Congrats on all going well, Dear Fish…. I’m sure some lucky boy will come along soon!

  • Jenn

    Sometimes the coldest winter days can feel warm. Go you!

  • How great that you’re feeling on top of the world BEFORE your fella arrives. Being in love is brilliant, especially when it’s your own life that you’re in love with. Embrace this awesome feeling.

  • Haywood

    Enjoy it! If it weren’t for the dark, the sunshine wouldn’t seem nearly so nice. Of course, this could all be leftover good mood from the vacation….margarita flashback. It does feel weird when everything’s going perfect, doesn’t it? How the heck did THAT happen?

  • Voilet

    Your life mirrors mine! Its crazy, and you are right a guy did step into my world and ruin everything! Don’t let it happen to you!

  • I’ve been following your blog for awhile, and just wanted to say how much I enjoy it. I’ve been dealing with the ordeals of dating…and add to it the cultural confusion of dating in a foreign country. But I well, actually just met a guy who sort of ‘hijacked’ my blog and called me a bimbo (in a loving way, apparently), just to get my attention, he assures me. Good luck!

  • rg

    boys do have a way of popping in and turning things upside down a little… but upside down can be fun!

    glad work and life are going well!

  • In my mind, I put you at the end of Saturday Night Fever.

    “What you going to do now, Fish?”

    “I’m gonna strut!”

    -Cue Bee-Gee’s

  • I’m with ya sista…. let’s wreak!

  • Glad to find you in good holiday spirits, deary.

  • AMR

    Great to read of contentment. Since starting to read you some 14 months ago it’s been a bit depressing (if beautifully written), a life that in some ways has a paralelled mine. So as I pack up the house in the sweltering Australian summer and move back to the city for a great new job, I wish you a fabulous Christmas and New Year. May you keep blogging and making me smile for a long time yet.

  • Heya…

    Did I ever mention how much I enjoy reading your blog. So much so that if you don’t mind I’d like to add you as a link to mine…(Lemme know)

    On another note, when someone asks me ‘How are you?’ – I’ve made it a habit to say “Fabulous and you?” with a huge smile (even if I don’t feel it) – It just throws the other person off guard – LOL

    Hope to hear from ya soon

    Noojes

  • I’m glad you are in such a good place right now! Hooray for good jobs that make you feel appreciated. It’s amazing how much that helps how one feels about things in their life. Happy holidays!

  • I haven’t been by for some time. I just thought I’d drop by to say hello.

    Hello, Heather.

  • Why is it so much easier to dwell on the negative?

    Here’s to the happy!

  • Yep, you’re where I was before I met my last boyfriend, and the one before that, and the one before that. But now I’m older. I WISH I could get there again…..

  • Enjoy it love—you deserve happiness. And a new boy. A really cute one. A “normal” one. Maybe even rich too.

  • I’ve been inspired by all the great changes in your life… and I too LOVE reading the happy entries! Thanks for your blog. It’s a very good thing.

  • This happened to me! After many years of turmoil, I finally found comfort and peace within myself and around me. I was always happy to be single but that was about the only stable thing amongst an intense and chaotic career and family and friends. Just when I thought for once everything had finally all evened out – I accidentally visited some guys blog and left a comment. Now I have moved half way across the world and am living with him! And, although noone could be more incredulous than me, I wouldn’t change a thing! Heh!

    Look out Fish! You are right – it does happen – just when you least expect it. Egad! But even if it doesn’t, these times are still all so very good. YAY!:D XXX

  • I was in your shoes around the 23rd of October, and sure enough the boy did come around and screw it up, effective as of December 11 (that’s when we broke up a month and two days after we started dating)…but even though the last week and a half has been really hard (I fall way too fast), I’ve made it through with relatively few scars (which is something very new for me and breakups), so I KNOW that you’ll make it through too…for now, just relish in the fact that your life is great without a boy and will be great again should a boy come along and screw it up :)

  • annette

    its super nice to hear that i’m not the only female with tight jeans, a tight bank account, and a messy closet. thank you for writing it all out for us. it adds hope and confidence to our days, and maybe a little reassurance of normality. :)

  • Dear Fish…

    Here’s to your “angst-free” post. I love it. Enjoy the calm before the storm…the “boy” storm that is. As you said, it’s bound to happen. But that’s by we buy umbrella’s, isn’t it – both out of trepidation and anticipation of the impending storm. Have to say, I love a good storm once-in-awhile.

    Ciao…

  • Ritu

    Sounds exactly like my story!! this is happening to so many of us, and its always a great feeling to know that one is indipendent and can choose what ever kinda guy you want, then jumping into someone whose not even worth. hey girl!! Take yr time LIVE THE MOMENT.

  • Just a Guy

    Do all of you women realize that alot of men feel the same way you do. I too have the same story. I was fine on my own and along came a GIRL and screwed it all up. So now I have to start all over again with being on my own after three and a half years. One question: What is wrong with a nice guy?

  • 21

    girls can definitely come along and mess things up, for guys as well as for their fellow girls! and nothing is wrong with a nice guy, nothing at all. it all comes down to why a person is a nice person, guy or girl. for self? that won’t hold up. for others? people are great, but they will let you down, and after enough disappointments, you’ll want to throw the ‘nice guy’ thing out the window. it’s about being who you were created to be, for your Creator…it’s the only thing that will truly sustain you, me, or anyone else at the end of the day. :)

  • Luke

    What’s wrong with a nice guy? Seriously? I love how a nice guy continues to strike out and then instead of realizing that nice guys (wussies) are not attractive asks a stupid question instead of acting like a real man of whom the word nice should never apply!

  • Sassicaia

    Doesn’t everyone do some weeping AND some wreaking? Even after you’ve found the “perfect” mate? Enjoy the ups and downs, ride the ferris wheel of life, keep your sense of balance. As the Buddhist said to the hotdog vendor, “Make me one with everything.”

  • I am recently separated from my wife and dating (with all the disclaimers) and have found woman that I have dated are just like I was when I was dating when I was in my twenties. They are constantly on the prowl and have f*** buddies. I want someone to connect with and possible LTR and they want great sex and no commitment. The world has turned upside down.

  • Me!

    Yep. This blog is true and fun. More of you GUYS should respond. I have the same life as you do Fish. OK as all of us seem too. I was just thinking how messy love can be. After you’ve cleaned your closets and you’ve now made room for him, he could at least hang his jacket in the same direction with the rest. Me!

  • I don’t know if your name was given, but I hope a catalyst shift comes my way for the place I SPEND MY DAY AT real soon. ‘Preciate your blog.

  • This Fish

    Rock on, Luke.

  • Max

    I wanted to add my comment cuz oddly enough I felt that I could have wrote this. Similar things are happening to me and what a shift indeed!

    nice one

  • Amy

    even though i don’t have the great job yet, i too recently emerged from my hiding place and i am no longer sleeping through life. i am finally enjoying things again, so cheers to us!

  • Peeker

    Loved your comments-we HAVE to stop and smell the roses because they actually are everywhere!! I’m at exactly the same point in my life so I really appreciated your comments-thank you!

  • Kelly...

    * giggles * I want my calm! MY CALM!