packed! sort of

There’s nothing like a little last minute packing.

I have to leave for work in forty minutes and I’ve just now dragged my suitcase out of the hall closet. The apartment looks like a department store during a clearance sale. Or a bordello… at basically any time. The shower rod is draped with every single black dress I own and everywhere else – dangling from hooks on backs of doors and bed posts, looped over doorknobs and spilling out of drawers in the hall closet – bras of every kind and color. And not a damn one of them works under the dress I’m meant to wear to the wedding.

Is it inappropriate to go braless to your mother’s wedding?

Of course it is. Propriety even had me digging through drawers of unmentionables for my slip. A slip! Half the time I was searching, I was occupied with wishing I still owned under things made of lycra and wondering how long it’s actually been since anyone but me, or the girls at the gym, have seen me in black lace.

Deep and meaningful thoughts on a Friday morning.

Thirty-six minutes until I have to walk out the door. The closest I’ve come to breakfast is coffee; the closest to packing is tossing the suitcase on the ottoman. It remains there, zipped shut. I’m still in my bathrobe, making mental notes to remember things like, my toothbrush, and my sister’s Christmas gift that somehow, never made it to the post office.

Twenty-nine minutes. All packed. Sort of. I know once I get to Dallas, I will find that I have no… no something that I need. And then we will have to go to Target. This is my favorite punishment for forgetfulness.

Incidentally, my suitcase still smells of its last outing. Of sunscreen and warm air. When I opened it, there was sand still hiding in some of its crevices (thankfully, mine are all clear). I haven’t the heart to tell it that we’re going somewhere much, much less exotic. It just seems cruel.

Twenty-one minutes.

22 comments to packed! sort of

  • Such a flair for weaving a story, and such a way with words: “When I opened it, there was sand still hiding in some of its crevices (thankfully, mine are all clear).” Who else could come up with such a clever joke and relay it so subtley that you could miss it if you weren’t paying attention?

    Have an excellent time at the wedding!

  • jen

    …and bedbugs. HAHAHAHA KIDDING KIDDING SO NOT.

    have fun!

  • Stephanie

    No matter if you pack 2 days ahead or 2 minutes ahead there is ALWAYS something that you forget to pack. However I’m with you “Oh I forgot my toothbrush, I have to go to Target, oh look at that cute sweater, it is a little chilly and I didn’t pack one…” you get the idea.

    Unfortunately, it’s been far too long for me or my suitcase to remember the last vacation I had but i do love that feeling of unzipping the suitcase and finding the mini bottles of shampoo that you forgot to take out when you got home or the sand that fell off your flipflops when you packed them up.

    Have a great time Heather in Texas. And remember if you can’t find the right bra in your drawer at home, there’s always Target!!!

  • Tami

    Have a great time and don’t worry about the packing. I have a feeling the things you’ll need most on this trip don’t fit in a suitcase. Enjoy! :-)

  • mazel tov to your mom – and have a fabulous time in texas!!

  • This Fish

    Don’t think I wasn’t OBSESSED about the bedbug thing! That NYT article scared the bejeezus out of me! When we got back from the Bahamas, I left my luggage on the fire escape in the freezing cold for days as a precaution.

  • Trish

    its freezing in dallas now..hope you packed some warm clothes!

  • Haha, Can definitely tell you had a rushed morning. I thikn braless would be ok…all eyes should be on your mom anyway;)

  • lou

    Wish I had of read this earlier so I could give some clothes advice!

    The weather is dropping to the 40s and it’s going to be just plain wet, windy and cold…..

    But then again, it is North Texas and you know what they say, “If you don’t like the weather, wait 5 minutes”.

    Have a good time. :)

  • This Fish

    I packed sweaters and jeans. I am hooked on Weather.com and, well, my mom is a pretty informative lady (that’s the nice way of saying obsessive). ;)

  • i find that i like to e-mail or do something else during crunch time because i’ve already given up what was once the hope of being in order and having checked things like extra film and hiking sandals off of the list.

    i appreciate that in your crunch time you manage to prioritize your thoughts.

    enjoy le weekend.

  • funnygirl

    I always pack last minute. Why waste time doing it a day or more in advance?? lol

    Doesn’t matter anyway. Everyone always forgets something.

    Have a great time at the wedding.

  • No Target! Target hates women!

  • This Fish

    No, some Target pharmacists are jerks. And Target’s policy is to let them. This does not diminish my love for Target.

  • forgetting items while packing is my favorite guilt-free shopping excuse.

    On various trips, I’ve “had to” get new: a)dress shoes

    b)swimsuit

    c)make-up/toiletries

    d)boyfriend

    whoops. maybe that ‘forgetting to pack’ is something more subliminal…

    *grin*

    (and I say go bra-less! or, at the very least, it’ll be the new thing you’ve “got to” get!)

  • I’ve been reading your blog all this time, and had NO idea you were tied to Dallas! No wonder I “get” you! LOL

    Signed,

    north Dallas girl

  • fish – you make me laugh. the need to write always hits me at the most inopportune times as well. “i need to pack, i need to go,” is replaced with, “i need to write.” and somehow you end up at the laptop trying to scribble it all out before you run out of time to accomplish other necessary tasks.

    congratulations on getting it all done and chronicalizing it for the rest of us.

    and much love to your mom,

    natalie

  • heather- braless at your mom’s wedding. Of course your mom won’t like it, but all the cute boys who see you will :-)

  • Ugh..THE SAND! This just happened to me. I grabbed a tote bag off my shelf to put some things in for a weekend away. There was sand and a small seashell in the pocket. I didnt know whether to smile or cry…

    Have a blast!

  • Lou

    I over-slept for my god-son’s christening a few years ago, and ended up standing in front of the whole congregation at church with a bra but minus panties… just couldn’t find any that didn’t leave a visible panty line.

    Yes, I’ll probably burn in hell…

  • I love that little bit of sand that is always left in your suitcase. It’s vene better than a photo.

    Have fun.

  • Love this post! I love the indecisiveness of packing.