no place like

It’s just no use.

As many times as I click the heels of my flip flops and chant, “There’s no place like Connecticut,” I am still stuck right here in the rainy city.

This weekend, Ari invited me to tag along with her family to their house on Candlewood Lake. Okay, actually, I technically invited myself but lah-dee-dah. Details. Whoever did the inviting, it was amazing. Not only was it gorgeous out there among the trees (and the daddy long leg spiders), but for all my time in the sun, I did not get burned. This is monumental, my friends. Twenty minutes is all it normally takes (no matter what SPF I’m wearing) for the sun to work its nasty mischief. I’ve often wondered if I’m going to be the first of my friends to get skin cancer. I’ve forecasted it for sometime next year.

At the end of our perfect outing, full of barbeque and pseudo-sibling rivalry, we headed back to the city under a sky lit up by fireworks. Ari’s brother pulled out his camera and I…went back to fiddling with my iPod.

Fireworks. Meh.

I can’t remember when I stopped being impressed by fireworks, but it was probably around the time I started realizing my parents didn’t know everything and that saying no to drugs was totally overrated. You know, my early twenties. Hi, total late bloomer. But clearly I’ve just seen too many movies with complex special effects, because my expectations are always bigger than the actual ooh, ahh factor. Either that, or I am just a terrible person.

Because, I mean, who hates fireworks? Terrorists and baby eaters, that’s who.

55 comments to no place like

  • haha i wasnt all that impressed by any fireworks i saw either, so i suppouse i am a baby eater.

  • fireworks are good. so is ice cream and tater tots. but not at the same time.

  • The first step is recoginizing you have a problem. I’ve always liked fireworks but I didn’t start loving them until I was 19.

  • tsk, tsk. how very un-american of you! :)

  • Dreamer

    I missed the fireworks too. And I dont feel all that upset about it. I slept just fine knowing that I missed sitting outside in a muggy, humid parking lot to see pretty colors and hear extremely loud noises at almost midnight. I guess im a baby eater too.

  • You have a following of baby eaters… ;-)

    I am really unimpressed by fireworks as well. Once you’ve seen them, you’ve seen them. And the scene in your life never lives up to all of the movies and stories you’ve seen/heard about them.

    I didn’t watch them yesterday either. I chose instead to head home after a long day of bbqing and speand quality time laughing with my boyfrend… beats the heat and people anyday! :)

  • My hubby just said this weekend that he isn’t all that impressed by fireworks anymore, either. Which was followed by “Damn, I must be getting old or something.”

  • Katie

    I thought I was the only one who disliked fireworks! It goes one step beyond ambivalence for me. I actively dislike them. You sit around in a crowd waiting for what? Some loud popping and cracking that looks exactly like every other firework spectacular of yesteryear. Everyone goes ooh and ahh and then everyone goes home. The list of things I’d rather do is just too long to even start. I’m with you Fish. Humbug, Fireworks!

  • kT

    Hate them. And not just because something much like a small rock fell out of the sky and hit me during a fireworks show when I was about five. I find them jarring and disconcerting as well as unimpressive.

  • I like fireworks more when it is cold – I always loved them on Nov 5 when I lived in England – everyone wrapped up in all their warm clothes and ate chips (sorry, fries) and got drunk!

  • e.

    Funny, I realized last night I’m rather over fireworks as well. It sure as hell wasn’t worth the effort to deal with the masses on the Mall, but I didn’t even feel like getting up from the porch to watch the neighbor’s displays. The neighbor’s displays which were highly illegal and loud and left me as jumpy as the cat…

  • I’ve become totally unimpressed with fireworks too… all last ngiht, as I sat in front of the computer, trying to create an elaborate post, all I could think was “Man, can’t the gunshots stop?”

  • Barbara E.

    My husband and my daughter (they’re steps to one another, so no genetic link)think fireworks are stupid, parades are overrated, and the circus smells. I love all 3, though I admit I’m cooling off toward circuses. They’re neither terrorists nor babyeaters, but they both finish food or drink and put the empty containers back in the fridge. So they’re pretty nasty characeters.

  • Tara

    Make room for me on the meh-fireworks bandwagon. Not only are they unimpressive, they’re boring as well. Was totally relieved last night when the beau didn’t feel like going. We read in bed instead. Delightful.

  • Hillary

    I love fireworks—hate the crowds. I would like to live somewhere where I can sit on my patio and see the sparkles.

  • Your not a bad person for hating fireworks. Just when you start to get tired of certain things, when you have kids (if you want them) it makes you feel like a kid again because you see them react to things for the first time and it makes you excited again.

  • I’m over fireworks, too, though I have been for a long time. They’re always pretty much the same thing.

    Last night we could hear them going off, and my roommate and I looked at each other all, “oh right, there’s fireworks. huh.” And then we went back to watching Pepper Dennis or something.

  • Sorry to hear you’re ‘meh’ on the fireworks. They rarely fail to make me a kid again. Yeah, I’m the annoying older twenty something over there clapping with the 5 year olds! Though, the ‘finale’ last evening was a little disappointing, overall I still loved them!

    But its okay if I’m the oddball by loving them. I still hold out hope to remain a ‘Toys R Us Kid”.

  • Ohmygosh, thank you for writing this! I’ve been called “heartless” for YEARS because I outgrew fireworks. Makes me feel better to know I’m not alone.

    Me? Last night I found the thunderstorm outside to be far more entertaining. Not bad at all if you ask me!

  • Angie

    I go a step beyond my friends, and I am still actually afraid of fireworks (one very bad experience involving ambulances many years ago). I sat watching them with a five year old in my lap, more for my protection than hers. Am very very bad person.

  • Hysterical post. Thanks for the laugh. Glad you had a nice retreat.

  • Perhaps deciding saying no to drugs is overrated has something to do with the diminished enjoyment of fireworks. I know some of my illicitly produced experiences rival contrived pyrotechnics any day. (wow, don’t I sound like a junkie)

  • lpnurse_shark

    saying no to drugs is totally overrated?

    I cannot tell you how many patients I’ve had whose recreational drug use creates a tolerance to pain medication, causing them to suffer horribly through procedures despite strong pain meds.

  • This Fish

    Oh god. So serious.

  • I still like fireworks but I’m not as into them as I used to be. I missed them yesterday and I wasn’t even that bothered by it.

  • Blair

    Baby eaters? lol, your so crazy (I say in my getto-ist accient possible). As getto as a girl from West Plano can be!!

  • Liz

    I’m not a fan of fireworks either. I just don’t get the big deal. Explosives that burst into colors in the night sky…nope, just can’t see the big deal.

  • Jean

    My best friend hear them going off las night while she was cleaning and thought her street was being attacked by gunfire! She forgot it was the 4th! LOL

    I was in bed by 10:00, I couldn’t even stay awake long enough to see them,

  • Kristin

    I once overheard an elderly woman say “I hate butterflies”….and I thought to myself “how is that possible???” She must’ve been a terrorist and a baby eater.

  • Jessie

    The hating of fireworks is a grossly overlooked sign of maturity. Oh-ah-wee bright colors in the sky. How outrageously fun.

    I contend that one can be unimpressed by fireworks and forgo the eating of babies.

    Some of them may kick puppies, though. Can’t help that…

    Joke

  • Finally, we can come out of the closet — proud Americans who don’t like fireworks.

  • Maybe we build up a resistance to fireworks if they become too common. I limit my exposure to Guy Faulks Night, and avoid all others like the plague. And the professional shows are so over produced. There’s a simple pleasure in setting off your own small fireworks cache with friends at the beach before sitting around a fire toasting marshmellows :)

  • K

    I like them. Does that make me weird and cliched?

    I’m dorky and I’m dealing with it.

  • Mary

    I love fireworks!!! Yay for fireworks :)

  • I heart fireworks…there is something fairytale like and magical about them! I know I’m a nerd!

  • Alyce

    People with PTSD hate fireworks.

    Also… babies are delicious so they deserve to be eaten. Nibbled at least. A delightful amuse bouche perhaps?

  • Reader Not Working

    Love them. I think the whole “explosives bursting into colors in the night sky” is the fun part. But I have a friend who hates them, they give her migraines….She has a child…I hope she doesn’t eat him….

  • G

    I’ll show you some fireworks, baby ;)

  • Lydia

    OMG, I love, love, LOVE fireworks. I can’t believe you guys are all “meh” about it. [Big, big sigh]

  • I was totally over fireworks until I had my daughter now everything that makes her ohh and ahhh makes me ohh and ahhh.. so this weekend full of its “what’s that mommy?” questions when ever she heard them popping was well worth it. but when shes sick of em- I will be too surely…

  • Ya know, I have to say I am totally surprised you’re over fireworks.

    I can usually count on good ol’ Texas born, ex-Mormon Heather to be all aw shucksy over the little things (which is one of the reasons I love you!).

    Oh, H, please tell me you still love puppies, rainbows and deli boyfriends!

  • shanin

    i live in jersualem, so hearing fireworks can sometimes feel a bit scary.

    but yes, they have lost their allure as i get on in the years…

  • Lexi

    How can you be meh about fireworks after the show Boston puts on? I was just there over the Fourth and was totally blown away (plus they set the barge on fire, awesome.)

  • Abby

    Have you ever tried Disneyland fireworks? They’re rollin’ in the dough so they can afford the fancy ones. Even better, about 6 of the fancy ones all shot off at the same time. I’d say those are worth it at least…

  • Michael

    [W]ho hates fireworks? Terrorists and baby eaters, that’s who.

    And Communists and vegetarians and people who go all squishy over the World Cup, which is a bunch of guys in short pants crying every time they fall on the grass.

    Nobody important.

  • I HATE FIREWORKS TOO!! My family and bf always wants to go see them, and they say they’re just magical and so romantic, and la de da de da! I can’t stand them. Why do thousands of people feel the need to crowd together to watch colored explosions? I don’t get it! I’m so glad someone else feels the same way!!

  • Gayle Trini

    Fireworks are just not cool if it’s not on your birthday. Every one deserves to have a few go off on that special day. I am lucky they set off fireworks on my birthday every year which is August 6. The country of Jamaica just happens to give me a holiday as well :)

    Ok so it is their Independence Day, besides the point.

    You should try it have someone set off fireworks on your birthday. Any other time is just a very noisy explosion.

    Peace to you :)

  • Domo Arigato

    I HATE Fireworks too! But, I have been told I have the heart of a robot.

  • Di

    Nah … I hate fireworks and everyone always seems to be watching and saying things like ‘wow, did you see that?’ and ‘stunning’ and stuff … and really, somehow, they don’t interest me much.

    Nice to find someone else out there :)

  • Ken

    Wow, it seems you’ve tapped into a nerve here. I’m a dang old Republican and I an completely underwhelmed by public fireworks displays. I always expect … well, what exactly? I don’t know. It’s like being set up with someone perfectly reasonable, going out on a date, having it go well, and all you can think is, “Well, that was … nice.”

    Then again, if I’m DOING fireworks… Give me some bottle-rockets and smokebombs and Black Cats and let me loose in the woods, then I’m in prime mood for some good, old-fashioned Commie stomping.

  • Great post, witty, fun to read. Loved the “la-dee-dah” part and the “hi late bloomer.”

    Re: fireworks…just a misalottment of community funds, if you ask me. They’re fun but cost so much and all the gas and driving and traffic to get to see them…not worth it in the long run.

  • Saw a similar show from a friend’s house on Lake Quassapaug, further up 84 from Candlewood. Good show.

    Signed,

    “Saw a Reference to Western Connecticut And Struggled in Vain to Make A Relevant Comment”

  • sassy

    oh please – you hae just never seen or heard the ones in boston, with a live Boston Pops accompaniment. They would convert even the scroogiest Scrooge over to the light side, loving fireworks. I was in tears.

    (Um, I lived in Boston for years. Saw ‘em. Still unconverted.)

  • Salma

    I love fire works, now theres something ill never forget about america 4th of july… so amazing