Before working out of a ramshackle school in East Harlem, there were a lot of things about office life that I took for granted. Things like, functional equipment, bathrooms that did not impose fear of incurable, communicable diseases and proximity to non-fried foods.
I spent the first day at my new job yesterday ducking in and out of meetings and brainstorming sessions, making work plans and – get this – writing my own job description. I have been working in a professional environment in some capacity for the last, oh, thirteen years or so. Why have I not had to do this before? It’s brilliant. I know exactly what I’m going to do (on the downside, I now have no excuse for being ignorant of any job responsibilities) and some idea of how to accomplish it. This is a very good thing.
Know what else is a very good thing? My chair. Not only is it not broken, it is extremely comfortable in that ever-so-tricky lumbar region.
Oh, and the Charmin Ultra in the bathroom is good, too. By now you should know how I feel about high quality paper products. Especially those which touch my, um, products. Institutional toilet paper should only ever be forced upon prisoners and middle schoolers – people who, by their own behaviors, do not deserve any better. If you work in an office, you pay taxes. If you pay taxes, your heiny deserves better than one-ply. Simple as that.
Toilet paper tangent over.
I am going to tell you about the microdermabrasion, but later. I feel like I jumped the gun last time, talking about the glycolic peel before I’d seen the full effect. For instance, the day of and day after the peel were great. But you missed out on the fact that the next day was not so great. I got a little bit reptilian. The day after, more reptile. Then the next day, back to great. Ten days of great, actually. So I think if I wait a bit, I’ll be more informative and those of you playing along at home will know better what to expect. Look at me being so socially responsible!
Also, I have a new toy I’ll tell you about later, too. Yeah, it vibrates.
Single-Ply toilet paper is micro-dermabrasion in itself. Though in a different area which you generally also want to keep fresh and soft.
The only thing that I prefer about my former job. And I do mean only, was the decent toilet paper. It wasnt Charmin Ultra, but better than the shopping bags material we have here.
I hear you about the one ply thing. I also like having toilet peper that I don’t have to use a great mass for so that my hands don’t get wet when I wipe. However, my Fiance doesn’t like charmin products or otherwise fluffy comfortable toilet paper. He says that it get’s stuck up his ass.
I know, WAY to much information.
Congratulations on the new job!!!
Hmmm, a new toy, that vibrates, coinciding with starting a new job…
Must be a Blackberry
Keep us posted on this dermatology kick, I have terrible skin and am much too poor for such glamorous measures, so I’ll live vicariously through you.
And I REALLY hate it when people eschew the use of capital letters . . .
Just kidding! (Well, it does bother me, but I thought I’d just be funny by continuing the Grammar Gripes onto yet another post, ha!)
Congratulations on the new job. Do we get to know what it is that you wrote in your DIY job description? I’m just curious.
Ooh, good guess, Wendy, but nope! I actually got a Treo two weeks ago. This vibrating toy is more of a novelty.
OOH I love surprises!!!
Is your new chair a “Space Chair” those are SOOOOO comfy! OMG!
I worked in a school for 3 years. I always thought that the teacher’s lounge should have better quality stuff. Those itty bitty squares of paper that come out of the dispenser is just ridiculous!
Wait, so are you doing a microdermabrasion or a glycolic peel? Because my facialist explained that they’re both different.
I almost did the peel, then they told me that people allergic to aspirin or advil shouldn’t do those.
I really want to try a microdermabrasion though…
Both! Alternating, of course.
New Toy: Don’t you know pagers are so 1990? (And by this point, they *could* be considered novelty items, whereas, say, a toothbrush – another guess I had – would not be. Well, not to most, anyway.)
(Perhaps in the boonies [regional areas left out so as not to offend]:
“Hey, look y’all! Whut’s this thang?! Oooo! It *buzzes*!!)
Also good about a good office bathroom is “the corner office” That being the stall, in which one wall is actually a wall, not a aluminum partiton. Those aren’t secure, they’re not comfortable. I can’t rock the middle stall.
Also, everybody hates on their Blackberry, but we all love them. You get to pretend your Batman or Captain Kirk.
Didn’t T. Magnum have a pager?
Microdermabrasion is very kick-ass. I have it done once a month.
I’m DYING to know about the vibrating toy. Is it the home micro-derm kind, or am I just being completely innocent today?
Yay for working in a more up-to-date office!
I had a little side effect from microderm they call “striping” where in your skin is so sensitive that it gets a little scratched. It went away in two days.
Vibrating, novelty toy? Hmmmm…
“Institutional toilet paper should only ever be forced upon … middle schoolers â people who, by their own behaviors, do not deserve any better.”
I hear you, Fish. Straight from the fingers (I am typing, aren’t I) of a middle/high school teacher: MIDDLE SCHOOLERS ARE SPAWNS. ALL CHILDREN SHOULD BE LOCKED IN A BASEMENT THAT RESEMBLES HELL BETWEEN THE AGES OF 10 AND 15.
Look…. designer toilet paper (3 rolls for $20!!!)
https://www.wellbeingworldusa.com/home.asp
I’m curious about the black roll…
I just started reading your blog a couple of weeks ago. It is great. As for the one ply, I know that I work in a hospital, you think they would buy better…
That’s a sign that you just have too much damn money, when you start buying designer toilet paper.
WOOPS! Didn’t mean to post it twice! UGH
Fish,
Have you tried the at home microdermabrasion kits? Just wondering if they even compare in quality and results.
I have the Mary Kay microdermabrasion kit, it seems like it works pretty good, but then I went to a salon (an Aveda one) and they lectured me and gave me pamphlets about how microdermabrasion is very bad for your skin. Saying that the glow is really damage from the roughness and stuff. I don’t know what to believe
There aren’t enough vibrating things in the world.
I’ve noticed how the 1-ply gets up n done so quickly… but I’m poor… so a $.59 of toilet paper makes senes at the time.
I’ve never written about the man who bought me 2-ply. Now THAT is love.
-RachizzLe (that’s my moniker)
Electric football?
Middle Schoolers work very hard to achieve good grades, so it offended me that you said we did not deserve any better.
Interesting.