In pirates class last week, the substitute instructor told me I was a natural. Watching myself in the mirror, struggling just to keep my less-than-graceful body in a straight line (hello, spine, work with me!), I wondered if she was new and didn’t know I’d already paid in advance for the next eight classes. Absolutely no buttering up was necessary; I was heavily invested.
“You have great body awareness.â€ù
I swallowed a giggle. My inside voice made a smartass remark to the effect of, Lady, where I come from, we call that self conscious, but my outside voice tried very hard to ignore it and instead said, Thanks.
“What do you do for a living?â€ù
“I’m a writer,â€ù I said, feeling my knees shake beneath me.
“Well, I’d say that if you didn’t know what you wanted to do, you should consider teaching pilates. You seem very disciplined.â€ù
Obviously, my regular instructor does not share notes with his sub. Otherwise, she’d be well aware that the week before, I lost my balance and lay laughing on the mat for a good minute or so. There may have been snorting involved. Okay, there was. Lots of snorting. My instructor, who is not a chatty man, appeared equal parts mystified and put out.
Today, at the end of a very challenging, muscle-quivering hour with my regular, not-into-flattery instructor, I headed for the door.
“See you Thursday,â€ù I said.
“Yeah. Oh, and uh, good job. You managed to hold yourself up today.â€ù
I shut the door behind me and grinned. Ordinarily, I don’t like men who make me work so damn hard for approval, but in this case, it’s the kick in the pants I need. The day that man tells me I should be an instructorâ€_ well, let’s just say, if I didn’t before, I now totally get the allure of that hard to get affirmation.
At least as far as pirates class goes.
I’m sure one of the main elements of Pilates is to maintain control & all that, but damn, you have to be able to laugh when something is funny. Life is too short to be serious ALL the time. Thanks for sharing. And kudos to you for keepin on!
Tell regular instructor man to cut you some slack. Depth perception is tricky with one eye covered, plus there’s that damned parrot on your shoulder squawking 24/7.
Does pilates really help you tone up? I need to flatten my tummy and lessen some of my jiggling.
You fell in pirates, I farted in yoga. We are kindred spirits, indeed.
Pilates is hard! Being a real priate would be super cool though. If only there were a class for that! Maybe Johnny Depp would instruct. YUM.
You farted in yoga! Old ladies fart in yoga, Mike. This is just too good.
And yeah, Pilates kicks my ass! And if by the end of quarter one, I’m not rockin’ a better stomach, I’m gonna be surprised and pissed.
Yes, it was during that Inigma song “Return to Innocence” If you made out any time during 1997, you know what song I’m talking about.
I am deeply disturbed by the censorship I see on the iVillage blogs. A month or so ago a good friend of mine wrote movingly about the blog “Sex on My Desk.” She said it reminded her of a time when men would chase women around the desk, of a time when in the workplace, women were considered second class at best and sex toys at worst. This is not the sort of woman who normally speaks up about anything, so I was proud of her. I referred several people to read the post, but guess what: it was removed after a day or two! I’m posting this to your blog, hoping you or someone at iVillage.com will see that censoring the comments of readers (unless they contain harsh or offensive language, which my friend’s did NOT) is a suppression of women’s rights. Please don’t remove this post!
Why don’t you just email the woman who writes Sex on my Desk?
I did. She just took it down right away. It frustrates me as an avid reader of these blogs. These venues serve such an important format for the open expression of women (all of us – not just the authors) and I am distressed that rather than post these discussions, they are just removed. I apprecaite being able to discuss my concerns on your blog to be sure!
(From This Fish: I understand your frustration. However, blogs and forums are different things. Blogs were never really intended for open discussion, though a lot of times they end up being useful for that. iVillage does have message boards, as far as I know, and that might be a better place to address bigger issues. Good luck!)
I tried pilates once, and my abs hurt for days afterwards…not from the workout so much as from trying SO HARD not to laugh. Honestly, I looked ridiculous (and the guy behind me in dress socks looked even funnier). To ignore this and pretend we were immersing ourselves in a serious pursuit of body awareness was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Exercise without humor is just to hard for me
Well, where I’m from, “body awareness” makes you go blind and makes hair grow on your palms.
I don’t know if I told you what happened after my first Pilates class, so forgive me if I’m repeating myself. That night, while sleeping, I wet the bed. Worse, it was my friend’s bed out in California where I was staying while she was out of town. Worse still, I wasn’t alone in the bed. Try explaining to a person with whom you’re sleeping (for the first time) that you just peed in your friend’s bed because your Kegel muscles are fatigued from Pilates. Go ahead. I double-dog dear you.
Oh, Derek! You implied there was some loss of muscle control but you didn’t tell me you wet the bed! HAHAHAAHAHA!
So, um, Mike. You know how I feel about you… but I think maybe Derek won this time.
Pissing the bed is a strong trump card, and quite hilarious in context. I am not a jealous man, or creepy internet stranger, for that matter. We’ll always have engagment teeth, my dear.
I just have to say, as a newcomer to ivillage and to This Fish…. your blog is quickly becoming my new favorite thing! You remind me so much of myself, my sisters, and my best friend. Keep on rocking it!
and good luck with the pirates. I am a yoga lover, even if I’m not good at it…the benefits are amazing!
Hi all!
My name is Steven and Im new here
. So far this is an incredible resource of information and I’ve spent a ton of time reading and browsing around. Look forward to hearing from you!