irb: putting the man in manhattan

If someone were to overhear our conversations, they’d think they’d stumbled upon two people with an unhealthy affinity for transportation. Because when Todd and I reminisce, it’s not about the months we spent working at the same design firm in Cambridge. We talk about cab rides.

“I don’t think we shared a cab that timeâ€_â€ù

“Oh, no? Bourbon was involved.â€ù

“Pfft, then who knows. We may have.â€ù

Last month, when Todd announced that he and a few of his friends were heading up to New York to damage their livers and gawk at women (putting the man in Manhattan, he called it), I couldn’t have been more thrilled. It had been far too long.

“I’ve just put you on my calendar!â€ù I said, adding a little blue bar across the third weekend in January. “Do you kids need a place to crash?â€ù

“Nah, we’re gonna get a double room. Might need to split a cab, though.â€ù

Ah, the magic words. Split. A. Cab. Todd (known back in the day as the IRB) and I had both learned the hard way that dating a coworker can be a bad, bad idea. So we didn’t date. Happy hours just stretched later and later until common sense got drowned in a shot of tequila, and then the two of us would end up sharing a cab home. Where we would make out like teenagers.

“How many cabs were there?â€ù

“Three or four, at least,â€ù I said, racking my brain. Tequila leaves a pretty thick film over memory.

“Wow. Go me.â€ù

We shared notes on the cabby that missed my house (we were uh, too busy to notice) and the one who got pulled over. After a while of remember this and remember that, it dawned on me that we might be jinxing his visit.

“Obviously since we’ve just talked about it so much, it’s going to be really awkward.â€ù

“Mmmâ€_â€ù

“Which is clearly why the baby J invented liquor.â€ù

“Amen.â€ù

Which is to say, come Friday, watch out, Yellow cab. It’s on.

More IRB Stories: here, here and here. There are others elsewhere, but I’m not sure that Todd wants the whole world to remember that time he went tanning. Or called me by his ex-girlfriend’s name.

9 comments to irb: putting the man in manhattan

  • Ha! I love that euphemism: “share a cab.” Intimate AND cost effective!

  • I use the blue tab for when my friends come to visit too! I hope you don’t think its weird, that thats the thing I noticed enough to comment on. I’ve just never made out in a cab, being from oklahoma and all where we don’t really ride in many cabs. I’ll just have to add that to my “to do” list…

  • Making out is awesome! =) And I love sharing a cab to lone destinations…

  • This Fish

    Well, yes, lone destinations are nice. But the reason Todd and I can make out several times over the space of several years is that we always go home to our own beds. Friends make lousy one night stands.

  • Jami

    Weird…I have a Todd just like that. Could it be the name?

  • T in NH

    Making out rocks. Cab or no-cab… if it is something in the name, well then, I need to get me a “Todd”

  • Congratz on your rental cab!

  • Happy Mauling. I can see the first night out.

    Todd Introduces Heather to Friends: A Play in One Act:

    T:”Guys this is my good friend Heather, we used to work together.”

    H:”Hi”

    T:”And now gentlemen, if you’ll excuse us, we must catch a cab to Dwayne Reade”

    Friend #1:”There’s a DR across the street, and on the corner?!?”

    H:”Yes, but they don’t have the right flavor of Milky Way Bar. I am a Midnight kind of woman.”

    -Fin-

  • Damn! I’m going to have to stop driving myself or carpooling with friends so I have an excuse to “share a cab” with someone….