Union Square Park was hiding under a thin blanket of last night’s snow when I escaped from the subway this morning at half-past nine. As soon as I saw it, a giddy feeling took hold in my chest and quickly spread to my face. I couldn’t help smiling. A passer-by in a puffy down coat smiled back, obviously on board with my excitement. There’s something very six-years-old about new snow, especially the first snow of the year, that incites cravings for a pair of moon boots and a sled. And some tomato soup. In a thermos, please.
I was also charmed by Rufus Wainwright suddenly pouring out of my iPod at that precise moment. For whatever reason, he makes me want to write up a list of my favorite things — indulgences, people, smells — fill a room with them, and then stay there for a very long time.
What it all comes down to, clearly, is that I’m easily amused and it takes almost nothing to make me happy. At least temporarily.
Truthfully, I’m just as easily disappointed as I am delighted. By even the smallest nuances of daily life. Which, if you’re someone close to me, means that along with my gushings about snow, coffee, and fat-cheeked baby boys in bow ties and argyle sweater vests (seriously, nothing cuter), you have to handle being pelted with a hundred little heartbreaks. Daily. Or bi-weekly, if I’m not feeling chatty. One minute I’m doing emotional cartwheels over a pair of new knee-socks and fresh snow and the next, I’m in a ten-minute pout because the cashier at the deli was cross with me for taking too long with my change. These are not serious highs and lows (I feel I have to say this because some random commenter is bound to express worry over my obvious manic depression and recommend their shrink and/or favorite meds). Nope.
It’s more like… playing some cosmic-scale game of He loves me, he loves me not, plucking petals and praying the last one reveals that the universe has a secret crush on me, too.
New Snow is the best! I adore new snow!! And Rufus Wainright!! Enjoy your highs and lows and remember that for every high there must be a low to helps appreciate the high!
PS Recently discovered your fishy blogg and am in complete adoration!! Keep up the good work!
Beautiful.
I love love love new snow… and that’s how I felt this morning and then felt disappointed because there wasn’t enough to pelt my boyfriend with… hopefully more will come.
I’m in DC…no snow but I can’t wait for the first one! I know what you mean about highs and lows and I hate that people think that I’d need meds just because I have a change in my mood. Emotions are natural…I like to get in touch with all of mine.
Wonderful post.
We are essentially the same person in regards to these things. Nothing gets me more excited then new snow, birthdays, and hell even a new favorite flavor of ice cream. I think there might be a strong connection between levels of Inner Excited Six-year-old and Inner Pouty six-year-old… a bad grade on a paper can ruin my day (sometimes this is cured by said new ice cream flavor haha)
This may just be because I can relate so well but I am convinced that these traits make us more human
Oh my. “The universe has a secret crush on me too.”
That’s exactly the feeling I’ve been trying to put into words!!!!
Loved this.
Best post in a while! Loved it!
Ahh the first snow, I too am a fan. Although I admit, after a few months of the stuff preventing you from wearing your favourite shoes- the magic of snow has evaporated. Living in Northern Canada can do that to a girl.
Ah yes, the million little highs and lows. Let me offer not meds, but company. Amen, sister! And thank you for the nice image in my head when I’m riding my little kiddie coaster of emotions.
I love Rufus Wainwright’s version of Hallelujah – but I wonder if Jeff Buckley’s version isn’t better. What song were you listening to pray tell?
I love this, and I kinda wrote a similar blog the other day.
Why, yes! Something as pedestrian as getting a bad train seat partner or finding out the vending machine is out of diet coke can essentially RUIN MY DAY. For about ten minutes, after which time I forget that I wish my life could be over and I find something else to elate me or destroy my will to survive.
Great post!
You were listening to Cigarette’s and Chocolate Milk, weren’t you?!? And I think that it’s great to get excited over small things. It made my day when a complete stranger (actually, I couldn’t figure out if I knew them or not) waved at me. It’s the little things that matter!
I came across your blog last night and now I have a feeling I’ll be reading it every morning.
You write beautifully and just reading your blog makes a lot of people feel okay about being human. Not just okay. It makes them embrace it. You say those little things that lots of people think throughout the day. I love it!
I’ll definitely be a daily reader.
Awesome. I think most people have little highs & lows. We should celebrate them. And for what it’s worth, the only meds I’d recommend are coffee, cocoa &/or cocktails (whichever suits your fancy at any given moment…)
Nice vision. Out here on the west coast, it has actually been dipping into the 40s at night!
I can so relate to what you’ve written. The bright side is that when you’re disappointed, it’s brief, and it doesn’t take something huge to pep you right back up. Thanks for the wonderful entry.
Your writting so often strikes a chord with me and today was no exception. I too am incredibly easily amused (new shoes can thrill me for days, I recently built a sugar packet castle while waiting for my lunch to come at a cafe, and this week’s unusual snow in Portland delighted me no end). I’ve concluded that those who aren’t entertained by the little things must live awfully dull lives.
Thanks for the great writing…I enjoy it so much!
I have been reading your blog daily (even if you dont post) for about six months. And this post has to be the best I have read. Your write beautifully and are very witty.
The universe needs to back off….I’M the one with the secret crush on you!
I play the same game with the universe, except replace the word “love” with the words “kick to the groin”. Rude people should upset you. They infuriate me. Here’s you and me just going around, practically ****ting out the golden rule and some ass-clown gets all pissy about some coins.
This was really beautiful.
Well done fish. love the line about the universe having a secret crush on you.
Hate snow. Live on the West Coast. Am fine with the rain. No snow though!
Separated at birth? I think so. I also can be made ridiculously happy at little things. You had to be listening to Rufus sing “Hallelujah.” Funny how life can throw hardballs and easy underhanders, often in the span of minutes. Love your thought about the Universe and its secret crush on you.
I have a secret crush on you. Which I suppose isn’t such a secret. But I always enjoy your posts and your reflections on life, so I thought I’d tell you that
Enjoying the small moments makes life so much more fun and interesting. Taking slights at small things… that’s tougher, and I wish you fewer heartbreaks, small or otherwise.
This is my favorite post you’ve ever written.
Were you listening to 14th Street (while on 14th Street)? That’s my fave R.W. song.
Cell phones and email enable our He-loves-me-loves-me-not tendencies, though, so it’s not your fault.
What a wonderful way to put it. If people did not have the up’s and down’s in daily life it would be boring.
You always manage to articulate exactly what I want to in a way I wish to and am still working towards.
Count me in as a fan of this entry! New York in the snow…it’s so perfect for the five minutes before the grime and dog pee settle in.
(I’m still waiting to see “Rover” written out in yellow by the curb one day.)
Dear Fish…I understand completely, but I might not tomorrow.
Yes, I am much like you. Not manic or anything, but it’s the little things that make me happy and the little things that disappoint. I guess I like the details of life…not just the broad strokes. I like what’s hidden behind the scene…
Ciao bella…be happy.
Yo, I love your blog. I found it last night, and I added it to my bookmarks. Yo, I love your blog. I found it last night, and I added it to my bookmarks.
I love Rufus Wainwright.
hey, ive long wanted to let you know i’m such a big fan, back when i was still living in the northeast, and now in the tropics. which is as far from the context you often describe as can possibly be. but i’m a fan. and your blog today prompted me to finally write and thank you, thank you for describing me.
I so get you. Keep writing, it’s lovely!
“It’s more like… playing some cosmic-scale game of He loves me, he loves me not, plucking petals and praying the last one reveals that the universe has a secret crush on me, too.”
LOVE IT!
I’m the exact same way and I love the analogy of it “He loves me, he loves me not.” I’m glad I’m not the only one like that.
I love the first snow. I also love being a moody libra with mild highs and lows in the same 15 minutes.
An x girlfriend once told me that If I ever tried to balance the mild mood swings out with some mood balancing drugs, she’d kick me to the curb. She liked my mild mood swings.
She was weird.
~Matt
I never thought about it that way, but you’re so right – that’s the flip side of being easily pleased (says someone whose mood can soar because of a good song or that cute baby in an argyle sweater, then plummet when the librarian raises an eyebrow at me when I take out biographies of Hillary Clinton and Billy Graham at the same time).
Here’s to riding the ups
hi fish – my first time replying to a blog. i know i am not your “real” friend, but i must say we are so similar. you have so many stories that remind me of my own. you crack me up! i happened upon your blog a few weeks ago and was so amused i had to print it out from the very beginning and proceeded to read it in one week. i know what you mean about the snow. i’m originally from NE, but now live in AZ. it snowed here yesterday. i was so excited. i had to text all my friends and tell them. now i want to drive up north and play in the snow. maybe make a snowman or snow angels.
anyway, i just wanted to tell you that your blog totally makes me smile.
Oh man, I feel like we’re 2 peas in a pod. I’m totally the person who does cartwheels over a new anything, then 20 minutes later I’m mad because the cashier at the grocery store told me I looked tired. “What? What do you mean? Do I look THAT bad?”
Anyways, love your blog and I hope you enjoy the snow!!
Another wonderful post!
random comments…
was searching the web for the words “secret crush” and got in here. While reading the part about Rufus, Poses started playing on my ipod. It is on shuffle and I have over 6500 songs in it.
Weird….