I pushed open the door to the deli and stepped inside. My shoe landed crunch! in the middle of the mess the shop owner had been sweeping. I hopped quickly to the side.
“Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry.”
“No problem, mi amor.”
I smiled as he ducked behind the counter to get my coffee. Aw, I’m someone’s love! I don’t even care that I’m the deli man’s love – I just like the sentiment. Being flirted with, especially first thing in the morning, is simply divine.
My waiter at the diner across the street sometimes offers me whipped cream for my waffle – with a wink. As though there were something just the tiniest bit scandalous about it. I love this. It makes me feel like the keeper of a secret, or the participant in some delicious mystery. “Oh, you!” I want to say. But instead, I smile and say, “No thanks, just strawberries.”
The man who runs the wine store down the street once begged me to tell him that the pink champagne I was buying wasn’t for my bridal shower. He’s coquettish about helping me choose wine for dinner parties (and nights home alone in front of my TV watching silly movies, but it’s best that he think it’s all parties and social butterflies. Keeps the love alive.). The doormen in Ari’s building are all flirts. The guy behind the counter at the dry cleaner’s, the mailman, and the owner of flower shop on the corner – I could flirt my way from Lexington to First Avenue, if I was so inclined. And let’s face it, most days, I am.
Oh, who are the flirts in your neighborhood?
I love it! I was just talking to my best friend about this the other night…
My chiropractor, the gas station guy, the liquor store guy (also helps me choose wine), a coworker (not in a skeevy, harrassment kind of way)…I know there’s others I just can’t think of them at the moment.
My car mechanic is such a flirt. When I take my car in (which is quite often) he always takes me a on a little tour of my broken car parts and then puts a discount on my invoice with a little note at the bottom. He is big and burly and used to be a member of a motorcycle gang in California. I can’t think of a better person to flirt with.
I live in the ‘burbs. I rarely see the same face twice. And usually it’s a woman. No one flirts with me.
But good on you, girl. Enjoy!
Loved this post!
Just the other day, I stopped at a candy store to get my sweet fix. The guy behind the counter told me what beautiful eyes I had and asked if I was married. I replied with the safe, but false, answer of “boyfriend!”
the man then proceeded to threaten to quit his job just so I couldn’t come back for a second chance with him – that it was my one and only opportunity. For being a candy man and getting shot down – he was pretty cute about it! i skipped home – jelly beans in hand!
I don’t even mind if they’re just doing it for better tips- the flirting is nice! I don’t have neighborhood flirts, but I have different eye candy guys for each situation where I often find myself.
Dang, I wish I had some flirts in my neighborhood. But I live in LA, and you’ve gotta be freakin’ Julia Roberts to get any attention in this town. Although, there was a far-too-young video store geek giving me the eye recently. I guess that counts.
haha, i had one, the waiter at the breakfast/lunch parlor near the Uni I went to. He always said: “So, what would my favorite girl order today?”, with a wink too… he made the “favorite girl” part sounded sooo special just for me. Of course I knew that he had other nicknames for other girl customers… but i didn’t care, i was his favorite girl! haha
Mine is the deli guy too. He absolutely adores me and flirts like crazy, even in front of my husband. Some days I love it, some days I can’t stand it. I’m a typical, fickle woman I guess.
The guy with dreads who works at chipolte and always gives me extra guac. The boys at home depot who seem impressed that I’ll carry my lumber on my shoulder. The boy down the hall, who flirted with me for two years before he finally stole my heart…
Or, as my uncle so eloquently put it “was waiting for [me] like a tick in a tree… and when the time was right, he jumped on.”
I live across the road from the hardware store, so obviously they are the hardware guys. They plow my driveway and push me out when I get stuck. They say they are lucky men when I bring them baked goods over.
I don’t know their names and I’m pretty sure they don’t know mine. But it keeps the mystery alive.
Does “caution, caution, I might fall in love with you” from Rohit at the gas station count as flirting?
And what about the donut guy who noticed that I hadn’t been in to the donut shop for two weeks? That one could be considered stalking I think.
HeeHee! Yesterday a very young man hung out of his car window in traffic to wave to me and ask for my phone number. He was adorable about it too.
dang, when i stop at the corner store for a 6 of highlife the guy just stares at his TV and yells “6 of low-life”! to some minion in the back.
at the office: the UPS guy that does our daily pick up, the guy who waters our plants, our boss (but not in a smarmy way,) a mortgage lender i’ve never seen but talk to daily, the realtor next door, etc. Personally: the maintenence men at my apt complex, the gas station clerk, the pharmacist at CVS…..
the list could go on and on…. flirting is SO much fun!
The cute young auzzie at the sandwich spot… the mail man… about 90% of the older married guys at the local bar i frequent… the phone guy here at work… the maintenance guy…
and it’s funny… because now that i have a “friend”… they all seem genuinely hurt… it’s cute.
I have a “package store guy”, co-workers, and general employees at local stores – it really is nice to be recognized and appreciated, and the flirtations add an extra boost to my day
Even if it’s just the silly, church-going man who gets bagels donated from our store (he brings me a cd every time, usually along the lines of George Michael) – it’s wicked flattery!
For me, its the really hot guy at the bank
And the really hot guy at the Safeway
the man at the convenience store calls me “beautiful girl” when I buy my milk and Saturday paper and, my personal favourite, the man at the wine shop ALWAYS makes a show of asking me for id when I buy wine and tells me that there is no way I am old enough to be legal
hey, take it where you can is what I say
The ups and dhl guys, gulf power rep, a mortgage lender, this one creepy realtor, and a few subcontractors. Oh, and the other day it was some drunk guy coming into the grocery store as I was leaving. Wait.. does that one count?
The butcher, the man at the vegetable stand, the guys at the pizza shop round the corner, the office supply delivery man. He even left me some wine at Christmas but my co-workers stole it. Teachers are sneaky. My friend says I’m a terrible flirt. I just think I’m being friendly. Whatever it is, the interaction sure makes basic chores a lot more fun.
It really varies as I don’t see the same people all the time, but the other day it was the guy at the cheese store. I enquired for ricotta before it was my turn just to see if there was some, he told me there was and then winked at me and took my full order and quickly rushed me to the cashier (I hope the other customers didn’t hate me too bad, I did try to complain, once!). When I got home, it turned out he had given me an extra half a pound of ricotta as a gift… oh the power of flirtation! and the power of the cheesecake that followed hahaha
The cooks at the local Taquiera near campus…They all murmur to themselves in Spanish when we come in (maybe they know some of my friends are fluent?). My favorite has to be: “What beautiful girls! They all are angels that fell from heaven.”
All the maitre d’s on Mulberry Street. I call it “Miss America Avenue” because they make a girl feel like a beauty queen as they call out “bella” to get you in the restaurant. I even got a hug once, and when I told him I’d already had lunch, he said “you have a beautiful smile”, I giggled for blocks!!
One of the managers at my frequent happy hour bar calls me “sweet pea”. It always makes me blush.
Fedex guy… always the Fedex guy… *sigh*
I work in a nursing home -they all flirt, no matter the age
don’t forget the adoring four-legged fans you have here at chez Ari and that even includes the brother.
I, on the other hand, have the smiling fat-faced guy from around the corner that I told you and L about over dinner tuesday night. He’s so icky his smile made me feel 7% uglier. I’m the luckiest. Wheeeee! Oh, Dick’s doorman, down the street really flirts me up – he’s sweet.
My wine guy, the high school kid who lifts weights at the same time as me (it counts as flirting if I catch him looking at me right??), every cute bartender on the LES, my guy friends when I’m looking particularly fabulous, the random bagpiper at the Irish pub last weekend. Flirting is my favorite hobby…
My barista, the falafal guy (just ate some actually and he was so cute!), the construction workers on both ends of my walk (lots of construction here in Seattle), my other barista (lots of coffee, too – and I do feel like I am cheating when I go to another flirty barista and it feels scandalous and fabulous), and nice surprises along the way from other people walking by. There is something about early morning flirts. Great post, Fish!
I second the FedEx guy!
Sadly, at work, it’s the personal crazies who flirt with me. The strange man who looks like a sweaty bulldog and tells me he likes my shoes…the dude who sits down at the reference desk, stares at me and says, “Sorry if I’m staring, but I like what I see.”
Alright, I’ll admit that when I get a cute cashier at Safeway, there is a chance that I will flirt.
And waiters. Waiters and the coffee guys. They’re fun.
I work as one of very few women at a railroad depot. After 12 hours on a train with another sweaty guy, all “my boys” flirt with me. Fortunately, I consider it part of my job to flirt right back… all in fun, of course. But one of them managed to steal my heart by winking over a lowered pair of safety shades. We’ve been together for a year and a half -to everyone else’s chagrin.
I think *I* might be the neighbourhood flirt!
My bus drivers often flirt. Also the boys at the bottl’o (Aussie for “liquor store”) and, oddly enough, the guy at my chemist. Personally I find it hard to flirt over the purchase of a thrush treatment but I suppose if you work in a pharmacy you’ve seen it all.
Also, there is a lovely guy who works at a carpark I frequent. On Fridays he hands Freddo Frogs to everyone. He makes my day every time I see him, his flirting is pleasantly innocent and he seems like he does it purely to make other people feel good.
Oh, also the crazies on the train. My train line has three mental asylums along it and there are lots of crazies. There is a guy called Dave who has a brain injury, he forgets everyone he meets and introduces himself to the same people each day. He’s very cheerful and is everyone’s favourite.
got a ‘beautiful eyes’ compliment today from a total stranger!!! felt a little awkward but i think it was more of good awkward feeling!!
And so in, we move the discussiion from the subtlties of playa hate/playa appreciate to the third maxim of the the genre: playa participate. I like to flirt with the black girls at Dunkin Donuts. “extra cream and sugar, baby girl”. I get it from my dad. He calls everyone “hun” or “honey”. In fact, it used to weird out my guy friends in High School when he did it. You have to remember, his coming from a loving father perspective. Anyway, I do that with waitress, bartenders, and the like. Drives the wife a little crazy, but all the good moves, I save for her, so she can stick it. With love, of course.
I now have “The People in Your Neighbourhood” in my head. Which shows you how much flirting goes on around here.
Hmm… that would be, one of the older gentlemen judges I routinely appear in front of (opposing counsel hates that), the two lady bartenders at the pub around the corner, the sandwich guy at the deli who remembers how I like my pulled pork sandwich, the receptionist at our office who’s my mom’s age, my male assistant, the head clerk at the counter of my local court, the guy at the Dunkin’ Donuts who knows how I want my coffee, and the really cute tattooed lesbian baker who loads me up with macaroons and biscotti for team meetings at work every few weeks. Equal opportunity flirting ROCKS.
Not many flirts around here. Over the summer though, when I went to a program in London, the construction man working on the apartments across the street would flirt and wink and wave as I sat in my windowsill.
Have to admit, he had very nice arms.
My friendly neighborhood bank teller. Whenever I am in his car line he always tells me how much he has missed me, or how pretty I am, and gives me extra candy with my deposit receipts. I eat it up.(the compliments not the candy!) Yes, he is 55 and married, but its oh so nice to hear.
I have a stalker admirer at my local grocery. We don’t flirt at all – he stalks, while I shop and shudder.
Hooray for flirting! My favorites are the warehouse guys at my work, the guy at the local mexican restaurant (gives me free drinks) one of the guys in my leasing office and the nice guy at the post office. It’s always a nice little pick me up during the day =)
Oh just about every single guy in the Caribbean and Mexico.
“Love your New York Walk, beautiful” (I’m Canadian).
“Hey divine goddess from east India” (nice!).
“You traveling alone? Will you marry me?” “Only if you give me a good deal on that painting”. $7, down from $25
But I ended up with the Bahamian high school sweetheart 14 years later.
Love this post! Xerox boys from the 10th floor in my office building – they like to flirt in the elevator. I don’t mind, it makes the ride up fun
this post was adorable! and so were all the comments!
my husband flirts with me all the time. he makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
Ann, I’m with you – I worked in a nursing home last year and ALL the men flirt, never mind that I’m younger than some of their grandchildren!
Now I teach in a high school, and the high school boys definitely get crushes on the teachers. They’re not inappropriate, but you can always tell when they’re trying to impress you or make you laugh. They’re very sweet about it, but it’s hysterical. Though it can be a little frustrating to try to teach a kid who is clearly off in lala land…
i flirt all the time. Just a game.in the neighbourhood or not. It eases out conversation and gets you feeling good. however i keep the real game for my husband and he absloutely loves it.
The engineer in my apt building. He has a disarming happiness all of the time. He usually gives off this “I know your secret” kind of energy when I encounter him. He likes to tease with “right up to the line” comments. Once when he was checking the accuracy of my apartment’s thermostat with a hand-held temperature gun looking device that you point at an object to get a read on it’s temperature. He confirmed that the temperature around my apartment was far different than the thermostat indicated. He observed as he happened to run the device by my body, that I had the hottest temperature reading of everything he tested in my apt. I couldn’t help but smile, because he was on to me. I simply smiled as I thought, “you aren’t kidding, Whew.” And, I realized I’d better get him out of my apartment, pronto!
The convinience guy at the corner Kwik Stop who has asked me out plenty of time even though i told him i have a bf. The 3 hot guys at the video store. The superintendents i talk to on the phone everyday from construction sites. oh my the list goes on and it is sooo fun though i never ever do it in front of my guy, Im flirty not nuts! =)
I think if someone is married or in a serious commited relationship they should not entertain the flirting idea. If you play with the toys, you’ll eventually get in the game. it’s inappropriate and unfair to the other partner. “Harmless” flirting sets the stage for lustful thoughts – thoughts are one step behind actions. Just ignore it!
I could not disagree more.
The more taboo you make something, the more attractive it becomes. Make a man or a woman feel bad about flirting and they’re gonna do it on the sly. The moment something is done in secret, that’s when you have to worry.
There is a difference between a flirtation and innuendo. And in my book, there’s nothing sexual about flirting.
Flirting happens man to woman, woman to woman – it’s the way we express humor, wit and charm. And I see absolutely no harm in it whatsoever. And if I marry a flirter, well, he has my permission to go right on flirting. ‘Cause I know who’s taking him home to bed.
Fish I couldn’t agree more. I sometimes even found that guys who flirt (like the way you described above) are loyal to their partners. It shows that their partners trust them enough to see that their flirting is harmless.
I’ve been in a ten yr. marriage that ended in divorce (not because of flirting) but I had ten years to gain knowledge. He might be taking you home to bed, but who’s he thinking about in the bed? Usually people that find it OK to flirt or to be flirted with haven’t finished the maturation process it takes to have a successful, fruitful relationship – one you and your partner can be totally satisfied with, without having to have the satisfaction of flirting or being flirted with. You’re probably not ready for a serious commitment if this is OK. Trust me, it takes time to discover this. TRIAL & ERROR! It should make you uncomfortable if someone is flirting with you, and you should feel a tinge of shame or guilt immediately if you flirt. This, obviously, is just my opinion – and stems from my experience in unsuccessful relationships, and, I’m DELIGHTED to say, my successful one. And yes, there is a difference between flirting and innuendo-if you flirt more than once with the same person,it’s innuendo. I’m done!
You can’t seriously believe that the man at the diner who winks at me every single time (thus flirting with the same person over and over and over) is harming his marriage!
I think we must have very different definitions of flirting.
Respectfully.
The Palistinian man who owns the little market around the corner… he calls me baby and we chat every time I come in. I love his fun flirtation so much that whenever I bake something I always take a few pieces in to him also. The innocent banter works out well for both of us – I feel good about myself, and he gets treats!
I have to re-think what I said before, it’s all fun and games until your buddy’s grandma grabs your ass. By then, you’ve started down a path you do not wish to be on. Either way off the path is unappealing. 1. Make out with grandma. 2. Push grandma down some stairs. See, there are dangers in flirting. And woe betide you if grandma shakes off the stairs and comes at you with a blade.
But that’s just one example, your experience may differ.
From This Fish: Snort! My love for you grows ever stronger.
Oh my god, I’d have NO idea if someone was flirting with me. I’m always so oblivious to that sort of thing.
Lighten up! Cheerful playfulness in a “G rated” fashion could only benefit all related parties. What hurts a relationship is mistrust, insecurity, and jealousy.
In NJ my EZPass was taken away and now I have the most fabulous toll collectors. Who wouldn’t want to be called gorgeous + sunshine on their way to work each day!
The best flirts in my opinion reside in Italy
My customers. This is only moderately flattering because I never see them in person, it’s phone-flirting. I’m told I have a great phone voice, but I think I sound like a munchkin. Go figure.
(We represent, the Lullaby League, the Lullabye League…)
In person flirting, there isn’t much. I live in the Bible belt, most everyone my age is married.
The shoe guy at Nordstroms! He always flirts. What more can you ask for? Handsome man that knows all about shoes!
While I can see Leah’s point (being another woman who’s marriage ended of what might well have been exh’s ‘flirting gone bad’), I think that there are very different forms of flirtation.
One is about cheerful cheekiness with no ‘intent’, while another hints at things that one would LIKE to happen, but there are all these ‘pesky obstacles’ (ie: s.o.) holding ‘em back.
Guess which one is trouble.
Isn’t that ironic…we all are flirts in one way or another…
It is flattering and we all like it…but lets just for a sec imagine that there’s this guy’s (the gas station guy) wife and would say “Are you flirting with her?”…oh, what are you talking about nooooo…
I laugh at my own thought!
I think it is so ironically funny…
We are ironic people…
Just thought will add some more…some professions require you to flirt otherwise how are you going to make the sale…I remember one of these days i watched this show on a writer, and she undergone a gender change (just the looks) to a man in order to be able to write from that other side of the gender. So, anyways one day she went to purchase a insurance, and the sales person acted totally different when she went as a man, then as a woman…
I thought i would share…
There is nothing better than being flirted with! I even like it if a girl gives my husband a little smile. (when I’m not with him of coarse) he will come home and tell me, and I’m like….”good for you hunny!” One time I was in a “sad” mood and a man in the car next to me rolled down his window and said “I just wanted to tell you that I think your beautiful” and drove off. All smiles the rest of the day for me!!!
A guy I worked with at two different places-we rarely talk in person but we message online after work sometimes. he always is telling me how hot I am and how he wishes he met me before my husband did. and my guy flirts with me too. and the pizza guys,and the gas station guys, etc.
It seems to me that the only guys that flirt with me are my guy friends. I think i somehow put up a guard to freeze guys off because i think flirting is so insincere. But yeah, it can sure make you walk out a little lighter on the toes!
I always feel really uncomfortable when someone flirts with me. I don’t like it at all. I usually just try to ignore it. I don’t need someone else’s attention to feel good about myself..
……Can I be your bicycle?
The fabric man in Marrakech offered me a million camels for my hand in marriage. I’m guessing it had nothing to do with the fact I just bought 2 pashminas…:) In general I’m flirt deficient-I don’t know how and I’m so oblivious to everything short of a million camels…
Boys at the video store, definitely. Clerks at Vons, Stater Bros. too, but not as much. And pretty much every guy that works at McDonalds.
Nerds and geeks kinda go for me more than most others… ah well, I think it’s cute.
I loooove flirting. It’s like a guily pleasure or something. As a receptionist at a law firm, guys flirt with me all the time, it’s wonderful and harmless. Clients, male co-workers, security guards. Such fun, I love being a woman.
I’m 45 so men don’t flirt with me nearly as often as they did when I was younger. On the rare occasion it does happen, it’s wonderful. Some people are great at bringing joy to the world..
One (a little too young) barista at the Starbucks I frequent, who would always offer me honey with my tea with a deep soulful look in his eyes, until one day he got up the courage and as he was handing me my cup he said “Okay, you gotta come clean. You must be a model, right?” I replied “nope.” He put a shocked expression on his face and asked “I know you’re lying. You are, and you just don’t want to tell me.”
The old man at the hardware store next to work, where I go everyday to get my m&m fix from their gumball machine (yes, really)… always asks me to go to Florida with him to escape the cold, or to go out dancing with him, and often he’ll put his own quarters in the machine for my M&Ms.
Random men on the street saying “smile, beautiful” or “hey gorgeous” in passing.
I love it. Both they and I know it’s just a silly game, but it lifts my mood for a short little while.
After seeing me gingerly crossing a puddle of melted snow on the sidewalk today, a man shoveling snow looked up at me and said “Honey, you can walk on my back so you can keep your pretty feet dry!”
i think one can/should enjoy flirting but not when in a sincere relationship
My regular male customers that come into my shop always flirt with me. Some I like more than others. Mostly married men who just like to be talked to & not at.
The Sushi Chef. When I run past the window I always get a wave and a smile.
Funny, you call them flirts, I call them pervs. For the last 8 years in this city I’ve been plagued with men winking and staring and whispering “oohhh”s and “aahhh”s. Everyday my sense of self is invaded with a man who thinks by being, what you call flirtatious, is somehow acceptable. That it doesn’t make a woman feel like just a piece of ass. I find it demeaning. But maybe I’ve just lived in this city for too long.
My fav is the water guy at work. We have a water club (that i’m not in- hello, sometimes it’s like a $15 bill!) but My desk is near where we store the water, and about 4 months ago, he started bringing me a 24 pack of poland spring water bottles. We’ve never exchanged more than a “hello” and a smile, he’s never been creepy or overly flirtatious (hes probably in his 40s and is like 6’7 at least!). Just brings me the water, we smile, I say thank you- he Says “shhh” and he goes on his way.
My Grandparents had a stronger love for each other than I’ve ever seen- yet they they both were very outgoing/flirty with others! (even the 17 yr old waiter at our fav restaurant! hehe) They knew how to enjoy life and have fun. There is nothing wrong with that- to those that find flirting harmful- give it a shot- have some fun. You might find you actually enjoyed yourself.
I love this post, because it made me think of those lovely men who make my day each week. Specifically, the guy at the bodega next door to my building who always says, “Bless you, mami” each time he sees me walk by. Well, thanks! Bless you, too, my friend!
Whats wrong with some of you women out there, A guy flirting with you, means he is paying you a simple compliment, he is essentially saying you look nice!! How wrong is it to accept a compliment!!
Flirt on I say!!
There’s a difference between harmless flirting and downright perving. You usually can tell the difference……downright pervs are those dirty characters that are untrustworthy. Harmless flirts are fun, flirting is done almost every where…its being friendly and making someone else feel special.
I used to be quite uptight about this…but if I like the look of the guy that flirts with me then its ok….its in the manner in which it is done…with respect of course!!!!
But i guess it’s different for different people eh???
I think flirtation is a game we play, a dance for which everyone knows the moves. People can flirt outrageously without intending anything. I think it’s quite normal for especially married couples to flirt. I don’t think we would be normal if we didn’t flirt. Just my opinion.