I’ve been feeling sort of blah lately. This not-so-chipper feeling is a result of the non spring compliant weather, work issues, and a small but annoying sports injury. And the last one is responsible for more than 78.4% of my crankiness. It’s kept me from going to the gym (which, in turn, keeps me from performing random acts of sidewalk violence), walking like a normal person, and wearing shoes that do not fall into the category of quasi-orthopedic. Seriously, I feel like I should be reeking of Ben Gay as I gab about my grandchildren over a game of bridge. Or mahjong. I’m probably more of a mahjong granny.
Anyway, in the middle of my Crank last week, Goldner sent me an email asking if I’d be interested in a screening of Blades of Glory. Because I live in the Land of No TV, I had no idea what he was talking about, but my mind filled with images of Rambo dudes and ninjas and exploding helicopters. I sent Goldy a “hold, please” email and clicked over to IMDB.
Instead of camouflage and copters, I was presented with Will Ferrell. On ice skates.
Oh HELL yes.
Actually, it turned out to be a sex-addicted Will Ferrell on ice skates throwing up inside his ice capades costume. It was predictably stupid, over the top, and exactly what I needed. Half the time, I wasn’t sure whether I was embarrassed, amused – or embarrassed that I was so amused. But, I haven’t laughed like that in… well, a long time. I first fell head-over-funnybone in love with Will Ferrell when he played Mugatu in Zoolander (I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!), and minus that ill-advised humorless deviation, Bewitched, my love for him as only grown deeper and sicker. What can I say? Twisted humor makes me hot.
It doesn’t, unfortunately, completely cure my Crank. But it’s a damn good start.
I don’t know what kind of sport injury you have, but in less than a year, I had about 3 “minor” sport injuries that should have kept me away from the gym. But I didn’t… because doing so would have made me cranky hehehe. I never rest, even when I should… but I just take it easy and I don’t do the motion/activity that cause the injury in the first place. It has worked for me so far…
Oh he just kills me! I watched Stranger Than Fiction for the second time last night. The first time I gave up Thanksgiving dinner with my family (like my arm really needed to be twisted) to watch it.
Damn the cranks….
Heather- that post was great- I agree, living in NYC, the gym is the only thing that stops me from committing random acts of sidewalk and subway violence too. People here can be so oblivious!
The best part of the movie was hearing you SNORT LAUGH!
going to see this Friday night – can’t wait!
Will Ferrell, Napolean Dynamite and figure skating, what’s not to love about that?
There’s nothing like Will Ferrell to cure the Crank. Maybe you just need another dose? I think I fell in love with Will Ferrell when he played Gene in SNL’s version of Behind the Music with Blue Oyster Cult. Makes me laugh every time!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UasQS3Ahrk
What is it about watching an absurdly movie that takes your mind off of the nonsense (and pain) it’s been occupied with. I’m glad you have friends Goldner to whisk you away like that!
I wish I could say that watching “Shooter” this past weekend with my boyfriend brought the same amount of elation, not so much!
Been wondering where you’ve been…Glad to hear you’re ok, I was starting to worry and wondered if I should come wander the streets of NY calling your name. Did you see Ferrell in the soccer dad movie…where he sported the tiger track suit and was addicted to cappuccino?
Why is no one mentioning Ricky Bobby? Probably because you are all “too cool” for NASCAR….which is not a bad thing at all…but seeing Will kiss Sacha Baron Cohen (I think that is how you spell his name) makes me giggle. When I am having a bad day I just think about them running across the finish line and smooching.
Talladenga Nights-Shake & Bake!
Kicking & Screaming- Coffee Addiction and Pele collectors item!
I’M TRAPPED IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!!!!!
(while standing in phone booth)
sigh. so hilarious.
How easy is it to live in the land of no TV? I’m moving into my own place soon and I will need to buy EVERYTHING.
What distractions does one need to arm oneself with in order to fill the void?
Why don’t you have a TV?
I have a TV, I just don’t have TV… like, no cable, no tv channels. I watch movies, but that’s it.
Bastards!! I’m so jealous. Fine… I’ll play nice with Goldner. I won’t even call out his Hedbergness – fair?
I lived without cable for about a year once (as if it’s some kind of accomplishment! ha!). I sometimes think about going back to no cable. But it’s not for everyone, you have to be prepared with plenty of other hobbies or activities. And of course most of us get addicted to particular shows, so that’s a big consideration. But it really is quite doable (ok it’s not actually a word but oh well).
A small group of friends & I have “dinner & a movie” night every so often. Our first official event, we screened the Best of Will Farrell. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life, between the actual clips & our subsequent quotes of the clips! Of course, we often watch Will Farrell movies too.
Am I imagining or is Goldner featured quite often in recent posts? Is he a potential suitor? Or just a best buddy? It’s none of my f’ing business, but gossip about people I don’t know is so much more interesting than gossip about people I do know.
From This Fish: No. Goldner and I are friends and I’ve been writing about him for three years.
I don’t have cable either. I was beginning to think I was strange. After hearing people say they pay $60-90 for basic cable each month, I decided I didn’t like any show that much. Although I do miss Adult Swim. FYE has a lot of gently used or on-sale movies, Walmart has a decent amount of movies in the $5 bin. And, speaking of Taladega Nights, I watched it the other day & was totally annoyed by the fake 2 second commercial. =)
It’s okay to both love and fear Goldner. It’s natural. Many people feel that way.
SNORT LAUGH!
If you like Will, you must see “Stranger Than Fiction” – not at all the usual stupid Will. It really was a great story and surprisingly well acted for the usual stupid-kind-of-guy, kind of like Jim Carey in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”.
I think I get to see Blades of Glory on Thursday, and am rather excited about over-the-top ridiculousness.
Snoop-a-loop! We’re going streakin’!!
i have to say, your blog is addicting
I have done my best to cut television out of my daily dose of activities…. I will still watch the occasional movie or cartoons/comedy at a friends’ house but otherwise I found that I almost had no choice…
Seriously, I DIDN’T have cable, but was getting hooked on so many shows that I was taping one show while watching another (ALL through primetime) and then I had to catch up on the weekend… If I went away (just for a weekend) I’d panic cause there was no way to record it all….
It was sometime around one of those trips that I realized that tv was an all or nothing activity for me… I chose none… it’s hard though… had to give up some of my favorite shows in the middle of the season…
Strangely enough…. I don’t know where all the time went when I cut television out, but there still doesn’t seem to be enough hours in a day….
I don’t have cable either!! There should be a support group…. “Hi, I’m *insert name* and I can’t afford to pay for cable….” —
Will Ferrell… he’s just one of my many fake boyfriends.
What happened? I mean of the sports injury…
I hope The Crank clears up soon, although I wonder what type of street violence would be your forte? Do you wield a blackjack or mean pepper spray? Do you taz? Or, in another homage to Will, would you just come at people in a tornado of teeth and finger nails?
I had a sports injury as well (form running) and turned to reading, watching movies and TV in my downtime. So I got cable… and all of the pay channels… so I had to get HD too… And I’m still wondering why. With over 200 channels it’s really hard to find anything really decent to watch. It seems like you just get more channels of more junk. Thank God for comedy and movies! But for those who really want cable, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
The weather, at least, has gotten more springlike! I hope your injury heals quickly.
OMG I cannot agree more with the sports injury = crankiness sentiment. I am a runner with a pretty serious hip injury that has kept me from running for the past month and I have been a big ball of fury for the entire time. Here’s hoping that we both feel better ASAP
Just discovered your blog recently and I just LOVE IT!
haha, no-tv-watching support group indeed. i lived on netflix (and a rabbit-ear antenna for the oscars) alone for 3 whole years, and you know what? i’m totally not dead. tho it did get kind of old when people at work would ask if i *just loved* that one show, and my answer always had to be, “no, i still don’t watch tv so much.” the incredulity of others was far more annoying than the lack of cable.
sports injury, no-spring, illness, whatevers…i think there’s a whole cosmic upper 1/2 of the east coast kind of blah going on, cuz i can’t make it to the gym this week either and i’m feeling likewise crappy. hope we all recover soon.
Wow, not only have I been feeling “blah” lately for the same reasons but I totall relate to your love of Mugatu in Zoolander. I always say “Tell me something good” but no one knows what I’m talking about. Just say Stranger Than Fiction yesterday, too, and LOVED IT!