A couple weeks ago, Mike J and I had dinner at a local pub, and afterward, I came home and crawled directly into bed. An hour later I woke up, feeling like something was not right. After a quick assessment (ooh, I think it’s my stomach), I rolled over to swing my feet to the floor, and threw up all over myself.
Attractive, right? I don’t think I’ve had such little control over my puke power since that time in the third grade when I yakked all over Mrs. Ashby’s shoes. But this was only the beginning of the night’s adventure in pathetic.
I scrambled for the bathroom, where I spent the next two hours begging for death. I’m no stranger to the glorious experience that is food poisoning (Boston 2003, Morocco 2004) and I knew where I was headed. To the hospital for Compazine and an IV full of saline. Only, these days I don’t have health insurance, or a roommate, and I was in no position to get myself to the living room, much less to the Emergency Room.
I texted Mike, on the off chance that he would still be awake. Nada. I texted Jamie, who works nights. Nada. So I curled up on the bathmat and cried. Hard. Here I was, almost thirty years old, and completely alone. And for a girl who really likes alone, I was not digging it at all.
Finally, at a quarter of two, I called my mom.
“Mom, I’m really sick,” I bawled into the phone. “I’m sick and I don’t know what to do.”
She said something about urgent care, which I couldn’t process because I was thinking really important thoughts about crawling back to the toilet. And then she said the magic words,
“I’m on my way.”
It was 1:49. It takes 30 minutes from her door to mine. I grabbed my watch from the bathroom counter and counted. Forty-nine, fifty-nine, oh-nine. Then I crawled back to the toilet, and buried my face in the bowl until help arrived. And when it arrived, she bundled me up, put me in the car, volunteered to pay for a trip to the ER, and listened to me bawl about being alone and pathetic.
“When you’re this sick, you’re always alone.”
Man, you can always count on Mom in times of crisis. If for nothing more than really solid words of wisdom. That, a spare bed and ginger ale, with a bendy straw.
A dozen or so hours I was back on my feet and feeling much less pathetic. I was done feeling sick and more importantly, done feeling sorry for myself. Because on the upside of upchuck, Mike J, moved by the guilt of choosing a bad restaurant, finally Top-Friended me on MySpace. See? So not alone.
I’m 36 years old and call my mom whose 6 hours away whenever I have the sniffles, slight bump on the head, or severe trauma/drama…will I ever be old enough not to call mom???
Awww, Heather!
I hope that you’re still curled up at your mom’s, feeling better and enjoying that bendy straw.
Sorry to hear of your troubles, Heather. I’ve been there too, only with a somewhat worse scenario and no one around to help (to get me home from the hospital)…and the one individual who I had hoped to be there for me wasn’t. (He was too busy getting ready for the Stones’ concert and couldn’t even be bothered to ask why I was calling.) You’re Blessed to have Mom so close.
Good for you.
PS: As Karma would have it… “He” got stuck in traffic, got off work late, was ditched by his ride AND MISSED the concert. hee hee…
Feel better.
My heart goes out to you, but I hope you never again feel that you are alone
I bet alot of your readers would’ve been there in a jiffy if you had called b/c youre sick!
Oh man, sorry to hear it. And I feel ya. Being sick is the ultimate kick in the ass when you’re single and alone. You’re hanging over the toilet wishing someone, anyone, was there to hold your hair back or get you a pillow or something, and there’s just no one there. It sucks. But hey, you’ll always have your family, and as pathetic as it might sound, it’s nice to know that Mom will always love you. : )
P.S. – What’s going on with hot Brad across the street?
Do you still see the Scotts? Just curious where your decorators have been
I don’t think I will ever be too old to call my mom. I’m 51, my mom is 81! I was in a bad auto accident 2 months ago, broke my ankle, had surgery, I’m on crutches, can’t drive, can’t carry anything from room to room, blah, blah, blah.
I don’t know what I would do without my mom. My girls are in their 20′s and I would be at their side any time of the day or night.
Moms are the real deal.
Right off the bat, I was thinking food poisoning…
I have lived in Japan for about 8 years, the 1 a.m. thing you wrote about in the this post – I can relate.
However, ain’t no way mom is going show up in Fukuoka.
I had surgery last Christmas. Low and behold, what was supposed to be a two day stay turned into a ten day stay including intubation/ICU/the works. The night I got transferred to the med/surg floor and could finally take off the oxygen, I finally got to have a shower. Try being 23 y/o and having to have your mom help you in the shower because you’re so weak. I pray my mom has forgotten the image of that, for her sake and mine!
Oh, boy–you’re never more aware of being alone than when you’re sick! And there’s nothing like an ER trip to show you who your true friends are. (Or at least, who the awake ones are.) So glad you’re better now. I always enjoy your blogs–thank you!
Just this past week, I had my own incident of being alone during a “crisis.” I was in Las Vegas, thousands of miles from home in New Jersey. And who did I call when I nearly passed out from dehydration? My mom. She was actually about ready to hop on a plane, if that would have made it better. She did help me get myself to the ER, even if it was from so far away.
Moms always have a way of fixing things despite distance.
Oh man! Food poisoning is the worst! I tend to fight the fine line of not wanting anyone around to see me in that miserable, disgusting state and dying for someone to bring me a glass of water (not that I could hold it down).
And, as coincidence would have it, wrote about a similar self-induced epsiode yesterday. Is it queasy blog week or something?
All hail the healing power of the bendy straw and a Super-Duper Omnipresent Mom!
Wow. What would i do without my Mom? Thank you for reminding me. Glad you are on the mend.
~Karen
Nothing puts the right back in the world like a bendy straw. Seriously.
Life’s like that…Mom’s are always the biggest helpers. No matter what, they’re by your side and seem to handle so much so easily. Most of us don’t appreciate our Mothers…me included…Hope you’re better now Heather
I thought you were going to try to pressure your former employer into continuing the health insurance. Is it still a possibility? I mean after you’re feeling better. Yup, moms rule.
Ten points for Mom for going with the bendy straw.
Awww…I love moms! Mine would do the same thing.
P.S. Yours was the first blog I ever started reading a couple of years ago. It started a mild blog-reading addiction that I have now. Love it.
Being alone when sick is awful. I cry and feel pitiful and have wild thoughts about dying alone on the bathmat too.
I go even further, though, and worry that my cat and dog will eat my dead carcass because they’ll be starving to death
this makes me miss my mom more than ever.
there are very few things in this world worse than a good case of food poisoning. glad you’re feeling better and loving alone again.
HOORAY for moms! i am almost 30 and live 8 hours away from mine these days. but don’t think i don’t call her to at least hear her voice when i’m sick.
I had a similar experience three years ago when I broke my toe and had to drive my manual shift car to the MediMerge. Everyone I called said they were busy and I was in too much pain to whine. I truly did feel alone that night but not as bad as when I have to go to a wedding reception solo, that’s more agonizing that being in private agony with food poisoning.
Glad you were close enough that your mom could be there – feel better soon!!
I live 3,000 miles away from My Mom, so I am screwed. The husband is just not the same, but he is a help when I am really ill.
What you need to do is have some Pedialyte in the house at all times. It is very gross (tastes and smells like melted crayons) but it quickly rehydrates you afterwards – similar to a saline drip.(http://www.pedialyte.com)
I always feel alone when I’m sick even though I live with my boyfriend… But now I torture him instead of my mom and when I feel better: 1. I say to my boyfriend “Sorry honey… I was feeling so bad… Thank you so much” and then I call my mom and laugh with the stupid things I’ve done… I think she’s happy I don’t call her anymore in the middle of the night even though she would take the first flight to come…
Hey fish,you may already know this,but gawker is hiring a for real reporter. job op for you?
I totally appreciate the head’s up! However, I would rather lick horse **** flavored envelopes for a living than work for Nick Denton.
Hurrah for mothers and hurrah for you weathering the pukestorm. Kind of reminds me of that episode of SATC when Miranda throws her back out and ends up naked on the bathmat. As a single – and fabulous, exclamation point – woman, I totally commiserate with you. Scary stuff.
Hurray for Fish – I am not 100% sure if you are being sarcastic or “for real” but if you are “for real” good job busting Nick Denton’s balls.
Yay!
I tend to agree with Exposed, when I’m getting sick I don’t like people around to watch. I remember yelling at my fiance because he was holding my hair back when I vomited. Haha..I apologized later, but I just can’t handle people watching.
I think I was 21 when I had my food poisoning experience (bad chicken caesar salad from Au Bon Pain). I was home from college for Thanksgiving and so sick (missed the toilet… luckily the bath tub was close by… oh, ick). I crawled into my parents’ room and spread myself out horizontally across the foot of their bed, begging, please, take care of me…
so glad your mom was there to rescue you and glad you’re feeling better, darlin’
The bendy straw is crucial when you are sick. Completely.
And you’re right, being sick is no fun if you’re alone. It sucks because on the one hand, you like having the excuse to stay home and do nothing. But on the other hand, it gets a little boring if you are by yourself.
(I speak from experience.)
I hope you never feel this wa again. Glad your feeling better!
Glad your feeling better. Thank god for mom’s. It is a horrible feeling when you need help and your all alone! Hope you realize that you are not.
Think of my reality…no family whatsoever…not even precious mom who was killed in a car accident…So when you think you are alone…know that you have no idea what it really feels like.
aww, that is one of the worst feelings. I guess we’re never too old to call mom huh? One time I got blood-poisoning and had to drive myself to the ER, where the nurses, not knowing what it was, wanted to send me back home until I started bawling about how I had no one with me, I had come all alone, etc. But the doctor came and reprimanded them, telling them that I had blood poisoning (the idiots) and was in no position AT ALL to be sent home. Hah! Yeah, I called my mommy and daddy after that.
wow, do i feel for you. it’s hard and it sucks being alone especially when your sick. Oh girl, you need to get a friend make it three friends who lives near you just in case and emergency like this can happen. Trust me that’s what i do.
OMG thank GOd for you mothers. i just lost mine this year 8 months ago. And I dread the day I will get sick and have no one to call on. I’m a single mom with 4 kids. So imagine that. Me sick with all my kids running the house. God Bless all mothers. I wish mine were here right now.
There’s something about being with Mom when you’re sick. Last month I was heading to a meeting and got a terrible migraine and needed to nap ASAP. Instead of going to the nearest bed (my uncle’s house was 5 minutes away), I drove PAST my apt and an hour to my mom’s. And I’m 27.
Oh, Heather. I’m so sorry you were so sick and alone but I’m so happy your mom was there to take care of you!
Thank God for parents. I had a stomach virus once when my son was an infant; the Mister was alreay at work and couldn’t come home. I couldn’t stand up. My parents took shifs with the baby until Mister came home.
Anyone can be alone, anytime.
****-flavored envelopes? How did you get a hold of my job description?
Ug – I totally feel for you. My worst case ever was on an international flight back from Romania. I was 10 lbs lighter when I got back to the US. I would’ve killed for a ‘mom’…or anyone. That’s when traveling alone is NOT fun. Hope you were on the mend quickly!
As a paramedic, I often help folks in these situations. Moms Rule but then come the age when Mom is too old & infirm to be of any real help. I’m glad to hear you made it through, but really, think about COBRA coverage (if it is available) also stashing some Moo-la to take a cab home. God Bless the child thats got it’s own…
That was me on Monday morning. In the evening, I asked the guy I thought I was in a relationship with (the same guy whose cooking gave me food poisoning) to bring me soup. (The soup that I took him in October when he was sick but never used). He said he would think about it. An hour later, he phoned and said he wasn’t bringing the soup. He lives 10 minutes away and has a car. Apparently it was too much of a “boyfriend” thing to do. I dumped him on Tuesday morning. I realized that if I’m going to be completely alone even while in a “relationship”, I’m not going to have sex with a man who can’t even bring me soup. Sadly, I don’t feel happy about my decision. I wish I could have called your mom.
You need to take that E.R. bill over to the restaurant ASAP. If they don’t pay the bill tout suite, talk about lawyers and such. It’s their fault and they should pay – doubtful you’re the only one who got sick that night.
On a completely different note, how much better would you feel walking the Katy trail carrying a gun and the knowledge of how to use it. You and other women do not need to live in fear like that. Take responsibility for your safety and enjoy the rewards.
Merry Merry
hey fish, so sorry to hear you were sick. i know all about being sick alone. i had an emergency outpatient surgery a while back, i was fairly new in town, and the only one to give me a ride home from the hospital was my ex-husband’s wife. now THAT was weird! (i had called my sixteen year old daughter who lives with her dad) i was stuck home alone for a week with no one to bring me soup. funny, now my daughter is away at college and she calls me when she’s sick. as a mom, my heart aches and my super-mom strength and willpower leap into action when she needs me. no one loves you like your momma!
Nothing’s better than the sound of your mom’s voice when you’re ill.
Oh man, that is awful – those moments truly make you feel single. Consider myself to be very independent (much like you), but a bout with the flu last week left me a teary mess. Glad you’re on the mend, take care!
Reading this was like reading an entry out of my own diary (if I kept one). I have been in this EXACT same scenario before, and the first thing I did was call my mother, even though she lives more than an hour away. Why is it that mom always makes it better, even if it’s just hearing her voice over the phone? I am 26 years old and this tried-and-true cure works every time. It’s funny how being sick turns “single and fabulous” into “single, pathetic and alone” in a matter of minutes though. Hmmmm…
I know you only wanted ‘Mom’…but, feel free to call on moi any time you want…I don’t live that far from you anyway! (little condo on University)
And, I have been at the beck and call of my pregnant-and-on-bedrest best friend in Richardson (her hubby was in Iraq, but made it home Thurs for a 2 week R&R…just in time for their baby to arrive, as she is being induced tomorrow morning).
I’m starting to have ‘beck and call’ withdrawals!
oh, how awful to be that sick! well, i’m glad you are feeling better. your story reminded me of how important moms are in our lives. i’m mid-30s and single and, even now, i feel like i can always count on my mom :0)
Takes me back to 2002 when I stayed at my boyfriends house and got very very ill. He was sound asleep on the bed as my beds for the night was the bathroom rug and the combination of my feet in the bathroom, torso in the wooden floored hallway, and head on the wooden floored bedroom as I tried to crawl to him. Giving up while hearing him snore I mumbled “I’m glad you can f*%#in sleep”.
He finally gave me meds I didn’t know were there from the bathroom at 7 am. 6 hours of torture and aloneness…..I FEEL YOU! I had wished I had my mom there.