falling out of orbit

My three-week-old nephew is a grunter. In fact, he sounds just like Mama Fratelli when she’s in hot pursuit of the Goonies and One Eyed Willie’s treasure. Unh. Unh. Unh. Unh. As soon my sister pointed out the symphonic similarities, I realized that yes, it was true and also that it had been a real long time since I’d seen that fine film. So that’s what we did with our Saturday night. Watched The Goonies and ate Oreo cookies. It was pretty magic.

Food Coma

Spending time with my family is always great, but throwing a new baby into the mix has made it exponentially more wonderful. He’s just so… well, there really aren’t words for the bizarre gravitational pull he possesses. From the moment he arrived, we were all in constant orbit around his Tic Tac sized toes and flailing baby fists. At least one of my sisters looked ready to smuggle him away in her purse at any given time. But while I patently adore that little guy, I was not in any way tempted to take him home. Mostly because of the crying. And I don’t mean because it’s loud or irritating like airplane babies or grocery store babies. Because it’s not. It’s so tiny and pathetic, and when it’s not totally hilarious (i.e. bath time, or the time he peed everywhere like a rotary sprinkler and we were all laughing way too hard to do a dang thing about it) it’s absolutely heartbreaking. Never have I ever heard a call to action more persuasive than my nephew’s cry. He wails, his wee little lip quivers, his chin wobbles, and something inside me is suddenly fully prepared to do whatever it takes to fix it. What? You want a pony with a diamond-encrusted saddle ridden by Buzz Aldrin? It’s yours! I’m not kidding; I’d go back to junior high if that’s what the baby wanted. Which is why I was glad to hand him back to his mom in the end. All of that unconditional love is freaking exhausting. 

11 comments to falling out of orbit

  • gb

    Oh, Fish! Perfect.

    He’s perfect, and so is what you’ve written.

    I’ve never heard a better or more poignant description of unconditional love.

  • Erin

    Tic Tac toes! I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT.

  • I hear that! It’s amazing how little babies can have you wrapped around their tiny little (sharp-nailed) finger in under a minute!!

    btw – love The Goonies! Josh Brolin was hot with that bandana around his head!

  • Lori

    I loved that picture in the last post. Conked out for sure!! You nailed it with this one Heather. Unfortunately, I think my 4 year old has realized this as well… and is testing just how far I’ll go daily. To the ends off the Earth pretty much.

  • CaliGal

    Oh Fish…sounds like you’re smitten!

    I don’t think I’ve ever heard an explanation of unconditional love the way you’ve put it here today. LOVELY! ….and Thank you.

    Too beautiful! Keep on enjoyin’ it, Auntie! :)

    PS: “The Goonies” = DaBomb! Such fun!

  • Alyssa

    So true! Last night, just before bed, my daughter had her pouty-lower lip sad face on, and it just killed me. Yesterday, I looked over at my son, and he had a single tear running down his cheek. Again, killed me.

    I’d rather gnaw my own limbs off than see them unhappy.

  • Don

    Happy thanksgiving. You have much to be thankful for.

  • Oh my word. He is the sweetest little bug – ever! Congratulations on becoming an aunt! My sister is set to give birth early January & beleive me I can’t wait. Hope you have a great Thanksgiving!!!

  • If you think you’re smitten now, just wait until it’s your own. Unbelievable! All of a sudden, catching puke with your bare hands doesn’t sound so far fetched.

  • Uma

    I’m a nursing student and if he grunts a lot he might be having trouble with his breathing and oxygenation, this should be discussed at his next well baby visit.

  • MarineMom

    Ahh Fish … therein lies the truth that I have come to realize having my retired Marine son, his wife and my new grandson (and first grandchild) living with me until spring. The boy whimpers and grandma is there to find out what is wrong. Umm … I think he is going to be a little spoiled but that’s good for them when they are young!

    Your nephew is adorable and I wish congrats to all of your family. Thanks for sharing his pics with us too!