Oh, hey. I’m here. And I’m having Office Space moments at the pace of oh, about six per hour. You know that scene where the beat the ever-lovin’ hell out of a fax machine? I came scarily close to doing that to my desk phone yesterday afternoon. Instead, I gritted my teeth, developed a swell little anger headache and went home. I was asleep on the sofa in minutes and didn’t even so much as twitch for the better part of two hours. And I’m normally a thirty minute napper. See what you’re doing to me, job? SEE? Next up is eating my feelings and it’s taken me almost six months to lose the boyfriend weight, so back off! I just feel so frustrated and undervalued some days. I know we’ve all been there, but honestly, isn’t a terrible, terrible shame that we all know what that feels like?
I did a nice job of wigging on the Dork Lord Sunday afternoon, too, that’s how much it’s getting to me. And as usual, he was really, really good about it. How ever did I find him? Oh, yes. The Internet. Whence all good things spring.
On the brightest of the bright sides, my little sister is getting married next weekend! Oh, man I am so excited. To see her wedded. To see my family. To snorgle the babies. To have a reprieve from the daily grind. My niece doesn’t stand a chance against the Omm nomm nomm-ing that is coming her way. And I hear that my nephew now says, “Dammit,” which as we all know is a gateway swear. I’m perfectly willing to help him out with the rest of the obscenity catalog and will invest my time thusly. Swearing at seventeen months. I couldn’t be prouder.
Ahh Lady you are too funny! I sadly have not lost the boyfriend weight, I have hit my computer & and teaching my 2 year old nephew the art of sarcasm is one of my proudest accomplishments;) Have a great time! ~L~
Ohhhh … being an auntie is the BEST. Chew, chew, nom, nom, pinch, giggle, then, if they poop, off they go to mama!
Also, congrats on losing the boyfriend weight. My sister’s wedding is in six months, I need to get crackin’ on the boyfriend gut myself.
Please teach “Asshat” during your Obscenity 101 class. I love that word and believe it will serve the youngster well as he matures.
LOLOL Oh (once again) how I can relate to your first paragraph! They sent the tech-guys over yesterday to fix the mess I made because I followed through on what I was feeling. Oops! lol
They fixed it and now, I work.
Have a fantasic time this week! Eat, drink, hug, kiss and be merry!
Congrats to your sis, too.
May I respectfully suggest some English swear words like wanker and bugger?
Thank you for reminding me of the great part of having nieces and nephews! I’ve had the worst of all weeks and hearing that I’m not the only one who tries to teach mine swears words made me laugh and reminded me its time for some Auntie Klia teaching of the newest. I’m now trying to decide what word my niece Aiden (18 months) should learn first? muahahahaha
Hope you feel better about your job, Fish. You’re right, we’ve all been there.
CONGRATS on the weight loss! You rock
Isn’t it funny how those we love the most we take out the most s*it upon? Good on the DL for taking it in stride.
Sending positive career vibes your way…just keep repeating: there are no cubicles in yoga, there are no cubicles in yoga…
fish, thank you so much for posting this. it is perfect timing for me.
while all my office inanimate objects are behaving themselves today, i had to listen to a grown man throw a tantrum over the phone before hanging up on me. i am lucky that i generally love my job, and the truely horrid people are few and far between, but i was nearly shaking with anger after that call. it took a while before i was able to concentrate again. here’s to a better tomorrow and good next week for everyone.
thought you might appreciate this
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/printers
I love how you descride you OS moments…my techie gurus think they are so funny. When they gave me my new laptop yesterday they gave me a handwritten “memo” and asked me to sign it – it stated that I would not throw, slam or otherwise mangle the poor machine and that I would realize that sometimes the user does error. hmmmmmm…funny boys!
‘snorgle the babies’ that is very descriptive and fits so nicely to what happens to those lil buggers. Have a great time at the wedding.
And don’t forget to give the DL a lil extra ‘snorgle’ for putting up with your bad day
(even big guys need a lil snorgle now and again, or so I hear)
Ah, swearing toddlers- now *that* is a reality show I would make the effort to invest in a television and watch once a week. It would be a move towards more laughter, unbelievable cuteness, and mental health in my house. Extra points for up inflection at the end of the swear.
So, um, what’s “boyfriend weight”? It sounds like something I am supposed to know about as part of the female sex, but I’m pretty sure my pamphlet didn’t have that term in it.
And, Shari? Thanks for The Oatmeal link. I almost blew hot tea throug hmy nose here in my oh-so-sedate, oh-so-serious office.
Oh Heather,
How do I love thee, let me count the ways: first, I think about and reference that scent in “Office Space” on almost a daily basis. Second, for these beautiful sentences: “I just feel so frustrated and undervalued some days. I know we’ve all been there, but honestly, isn’t a terrible, terrible shame that we all know what that feels like?” Third: I can always count on you to entertain me for a few moments a few times a week. Never stop writing, never doubt yourself, never listen to those crazy-internet-fools, you’re fabulous for just being you.
Um, weren’t they beating up a printer? Not a fax machine.
waaaaait – didn’t you meet him ‘through a friend’???? Is that friend’s name Internet P. Dating? hehehe I have to ask, bc I met MY fiance through Monsieur IPD, and he refuses to admit that to anyone. I laugh and tell him that after 2 glasses of wine (my truth serum) the story comes out anyway, so why deny it?
A blog reader set us up. So, technically, through the internet, but no, not internet dating.