I heaved a melodramatic sigh and rolled over in bed.
“I guesssss. But what have you done for me lately?”
“Offered to marry you?”
The Dork Lord and I have been engaged since Wednesday (try keeping THAT a secret for a few days!) and ever since he produced the ring, he’s been attempting to use it as leverage. Like, say, if I give him a wet willy while we’re watching Mad Men, he’ll threaten me with a 30-day return period. Whatever. He’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead finger.
It happened rather unceremoniously, which will be the answer to your first question. I was home from work, post-migraine, looking about as lovely as one looks after 12 hours of sweating and mini-pukes, when he showed up in the middle of the day. Acting totally effing weird. I asked if he came home for lunch. Nope, he’d eaten. Then he wandered around the apartment until I almost lost my mind.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“You’re home in the middle of the day acting like a weirdo and it’s freaking me out.”
The somewhere in the middle of all that weirdness, he took a ring from his pocket, dropped to one knee and asked the question that got him a “Duh!” response. And thus, we are affianced. But not that I was allowed to tell anybody. See, everyone I know, they love the Interwebs. And since we were having dinner with his folks on Friday night, and we didn’t want them finding out from some enthusiastic and misguided Facebook comment, the secret was going to have to keep until then.
The secret keeping? It was not fun. The rest of it? Lots of fun. But I’ll tell you, being engaged feels an awful lot like being hungover. Oh, man. So much celebrating. In fact, there’s still champagne in our fridge and if you adios it while I’m at work, well, I would probably kiss you right on the mouth. Turns out, I don’t have a lot of self control when it comes to merry making.
CONGRATS!!!!! What wonderful, happy news on a Monday morning!!!!
Congratulations!!
mazel tov fish! enjoy the ride!!
Congratulations, that’s such great news!
Oh, Heather! I’ve been reading for years and couldn’t be happier for you both unless I actually knew you outside the walls of your blog. Best Wishes!
Congratulations! So happy for you!
Well, congratulations! and well done on the secret-keeping:)
Mazel Tov!!!
Congrats Heather! Have fun!
Congratulations! Enjoy the engagement and I hope you have a long and happy marriage.
Wow Heather, fantastic news!! Congratulations!
YAY!! Congratulations Fish!!
OMG congrats!!! That is such exciting news!
awwww, many many congrats
that’s wonderful!
Congratulations! SQUEEEE!
I don’t know how you were able to keep that a secret…even for a few days! Whew – I would have gone crazy.
Wow wow wow!!!!!!! This is huge! Congrats to the both of you.
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
(And now get ready to constantly be asked, “did you set a date?” Nevermind the fact that you’ve been engaged less than a week!)
Hey Fish, that’s freakin awesome! Congratulations, very very happy for you and I only know you through the blog!
Congrats! So happy for you!
This is so exciting! Congratulations to you both!
I’m as excited as if I knew you in real life. Congratulations to you both.
As a long time reader of this blog, let me join in the congratulating! Happy engagement!
Aww, girlie, so exciting! Congratulations.
YAY! Congrats! I’m so happy for you! Let’s see some pics of that (much anticipated) ring!
Congrats!!
Congrats
CONGRATULATIONS! YAY!!!
I’m so happy for you :-}
The weirdo acting is terribly cute.
xoxox
Congrats to you both!
MUCH MUCH Congratulations!!! This is wonderful, exciting news. And I’m so happy for you guys!! I just got engaged on March 22nd (we’ve been together for 7 years, so this is very exciting!), and am still over the moon, and there has already been several glasses of prosecco drunk, and more to come tomorrow night, I’m sure! Thankfully my celebrations have been spaced out somewhat, so that’s a help.
Enjoy the heck out of your engagement.
(And I’ve been fending off the “don’t make me take your ring back” threats as well, so you’re in good company.)
I couldn’t be happier for you…congratulations!
Hooray! I’ve been waiting to read this news for months!! Congratulations to you both. I’m really happy for you.
Oh yay! I must admit for the last month or so I immediately and religiously check every entry as soon as it posts because I KNEW this was coming! Congratulations to you and the Dork Lord!
Agh! Congrats!
HOORAY!!!! If the Dork Lord is one-tenth of the sweetheart he is when you write him, I will allow him to marry you. Keep the celebration coming!
Congrats from a long-time reader and first time comment leaver.
Whoo-hoo!!!!
Or, as they say down here in Aggieland, Whoop!!
OMG, OMG, OMG!
How wonderful! How exciting! How romantic!
Congratulations Miss Heather!
You’re gonna make an absolutely beautiful bride.
MUCH MUCH Congratulations!!! This is wonderful, exciting news. And I’m so happy for you guys!! I just got engaged on March 22nd (we’ve been together for 7 years, so this is very exciting!), and am still over the moon, and there has already been several glasses of prosecco drunk, and more to come tomorrow night, I’m sure! Thankfully my celebrations have been spaced out somewhat, so that’s a help.
Enjoy the heck out of your engagement.
(And I’ve been fending off the “don’t make me take your ring back” threats as well, so you’re in good company.)
I think YOU should be the one using it as leverage. He is LUCKY you said yes! Congratulations!
Congrats! I’ll bet you can’t quit gazing at your finger. Enjoy it all! I loved every minute of it, from the engagement party to the wedding planning. It’s the definition of good stress.
Ditto to what Nicole said before me:
“I’m as excited as if I knew you in real life.”
haha, congratulations!!!
Congratulations!!! I second Becky’s comment, would love to see the ring!
Yaaaaay!!! Congrats Heather
Another long-time reader here – I am so delighted for you both!
Awesome news! I’ve been having migraines every day for two weeks, where the hell’s my ring?
If I were within walking distance of your home I would most certainly take that champagne off your hands
Cheers to you and your new fiance!
Congratulations!! Can we see the ring?
Congrats! Been reading your blog for many, many years. Thrilled to read the good news. Enjoy every moment.
Yay! Congratulations to you both, can’t wait to read all about it.
Congratulations! I’m so happy for you guys!
YAY! I am so very happy for you. I’ve been following your blog for years and have really enjoyed reading about the pieces of your life you have shared with us. I just got engaged a couple of months ago and I am totally loving it, so I can fully comprehend how you’re feeling (we got yet another bottle of congratulatory wine this weekend — it’s been two months)
I’ve read you for years and wish I had something witty to write, but all I can think is HOORAY!
Congratulations!
Great news! Congratulations!!
Congratulations to you and the Dark Lord!
Can I be a bridesmaid? (Sorry, channeling Kelly Kapoor there for a minute.) CONGRATULATIONS!!!
SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOO happy for you!
j*
HURRAY!!!! Congratulations!
I wish you all the happiness in the world. Congratulations.
Congratulations Fish! Completely ecstatic for you over here… YAY!!
Congratulations!!!!!!
Congratulations! I am still smiling hugely that the Dork Lord (finally!!!) popped the question! Your happiness brightens my Monday! Maybe you should always make good news announcements on Mondays – they have a more powerful effect.
So you don’t know me and I don’t know you, but when I saw the title I did a double take and grew a huge smile for you. Congratulations and many many happy years of growing together.
Also, if I may be so bold: read Meg at apractialwedding.com. I think you would like her.
May I be the umpteenth person to wish you a very hearty CONGRATULATIONS!!
I am SO very happy for you and the Dork Lord!
Awesome news to start a Monday with! Thanks for sharing a piece of your joy with us Inner-web denizens!!
Awww, yay! Congratulations!
Everytime I check your blog, I think “Is this going to be THE post?” Glad it finally arrived. Congrats to you and Dork Lord!
I know I don’t know you IRL, but I’m so seriously happy to hear (read?) this fantastic news! Congrats to you both!
Finally! Congrats Heather!
Yay!! Congrats to both of you!
Yaaaay!!! Congrats, Fish!!
I started reading you when I started my blog (about 5 years ago), I don’t even remember how I found you, but once I did I been keeping up with all your up, downs and in-betweens. This is the first time I post a comment (I’m shy).. but I just could not help myself. Knowing your searchs and heartbreaks and the the joy of finding the dork lord… this is just such happy news!
So, congratulations to the both of you! can not wait to start reading about the wedding preperations!
Congratulations! So happy for you and the Dork Lord!
Wonderful! All the best to you both.
That’s wonderful news!!!!!
What wonderful news! Best wishes to you both for a long and happy marriage.
Count me as another long time reader who feels as excited as if she knew you in real life! Many, many congratulations and good wishes for a long and happy marriage!
Congratulations to the both of you, and best wishes for the future! Now, is it tacky to ask to see a picture of the ring?
I must live vicariously through you two!
Congrats. Get ready for a long, tough and rewarding journey. It sounds like you guys will be just A-OK! Very happy for you both from a long time reader.
Congratulations! So very happy for you. And hey, enjoy that champagne–I don’t think this is the time for self control
Congratulations! I’m so happy for you both.
Congrats Heather! That is excellent news!
What a pleasant post to read onmybirthday!Congratulations! Wishing you a wonderful life together!!
I have been reading your blog for about 6 months, including the archives, and I really like you as a person and I can relate to you in so many ways…please, keep on writing!
Good stuff. Very, very good stuff. Congrats to you!
Yay!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!
Congratulations!!! That is fantastic news. So happy for the both of you.
Have been reading you for years (bought one of the original t-shirts!), and have been patiently/anxiously awaiting this post. HUGE congratulations. May you guys have much, much happiness all your days. (Even the hungover ones.)
But, see, you COULD have pulled the ol’ April Fools the next day! Just kiddin’
CONGRATU-FREAKIN-LATIONS!!!
Congrats Fish! The day finally came
Fish, great news:) I just got married in December, and our engagement was a wonderful time. Can’t wait to hear all the stories this will bring:) Most of all, I hope you are as happy and thrilled with this next chapter of your life as I was!
awwwww how sweet – congrat’s ~ pictures please…..
congratulations!!
i’m so happy for you, even though i only know you through the blog. i’ve been reading for about 3-4 years now, and i don’t comment too often.
i must admit that i’m a bit jealous, as well. this coming tuesday is my 3-year anniversary w/ my boyfriend. though we both agree that we’ll most likely getting married, financial issues are keeping him from proposing just yet. i wish he would ignore the practical issues and just do it, like the dork lord did.
CONGRATULATIONS!!! I’ve been reading your blog for years and so happy for you!
Congratulations! So happy for you.
Congrats Heather! You’ve been through a lot since the days of J. I’m glad you’ve found your prince. You deserve it! I’ve loved reading about it all!
Fish, I’ve been reading you for years now. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you.
Huzzah! I am horrible at keeping secrets so I’m mostly impressed about that. Congrats on all the happiness and love and self control in the face of spilling such good dirt to the interwebs.
Many many congratulations! From how you talk about him on the blog, you two seem perfect for each other! Such happy news!
Congratulation Heather! I have been reading since 2006 and knowing that you are happy always brings a huge smile to my face and a kick inside of my heart!!
Congratulations! I am SO happy for you, and the Dork Lord should consider himself extremely luck to have “locked down” such a wonderful person!
And, you may be sick of celebrating, but the first few months are the best part of being engaged. All sorts of possibilities, trying on dresses, etc. Once you have to make decisions (especially about the guest list), it starts to get stressful. But, pretend I did not tell you that and enjoy being engaged!
(By the way, my brother was in IRAQ when we got engaged, and although we told extremely close friends and family, we told them to keep it quiet until I was able to talk to him a week later. I actually disabled the option for people to leave comments on my Facebook wall so he would not find out that way.)
Woohoo! Congratulations to both of you!
May the two of you have every joy, every day, for the rest of your lives.
This is the first time I’ve checked the internet since Friday and I came here first, just hoping an engagement announcement was afoot. I am beaming (BEAMING!) for the two of you.
And it just wouldn’t be real if he wasn’t teasing you already, would it? I just LOVE that about him!
Congratulations to you!
aaaaahhhhhh!!!! congrats! ive been reading your blogs for years now and im so happy that you finally got it!!
Congrats! Congrats! Congrats! All the best to you and the DL. Good job on keeping that a secret. I am impressed!
Woo Hoo! I am glad for the both of you. Cook with the leftover champagne if you don’t want to drink it!
Congratulations! Glad you found the one!
congratulations!
been reading for years, and the first time to comment, but i had to say “congratulations!” enjoy this time… the parties will continue – showers, bachelor/bachelorette, and then the big day. it’s so wonderful to be surrounded by all the people you love, cheering you on.
Congrats! When it’s right, it’s right! You two seem perfect for each other and I wish you a wonderful engagment and a long & happy marriage. Cheers!
Congratulations from yet another interweb stranger. I understood every word of what you wrote in your “I’d like to get engaged” post, so happy times that now you are. Looking forward to reading all about the wedding too!
I have been looking forward to this post for months!! CONGRATULATIONS from a long time reader.
I’ve been reading you since the beginning.
I’m soo happy for you! =D
Congrats and enjoy every minute of your engagement!
YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!
Another long-time reader commenting for the first time…Congratulations to you and the Dork Lord!
Yeay! As so many others have said, don’t know you IRL, but so happy that you shared your happiness with us! Congrats, enjoy it, and remember to keep everything in perspective as you plan! Nothing really matters except that you show up, he shows up and you both say yes. Screw table linens and place cards!
Congratulations to you both!! 2 words of advice: backyard wedding.
OMG! Congrats!
Congratulations! The person that set you guys up must be thrilled.
Best Wishes!
Congratulations. As one who had to keep it a secret for 4 months, a week is just as long!
Happy, happy, happy!!!! Oh so happy for you and the Dork Lord! I’m like others here who say I couldn’t be happier for you if I actually knew you! He sounds like a “catch,” and we’ve all known you’re a catch for a long time, so enjoy the champagne girl. You deserve an ongoing celebration!
hooray! what fabulous news. i am a long-time reader and i’m so happy for you. congrats!
As many others said, longtime reader, so happy to hear your news you guys deserve it!!! Can’t wait to hear all your stories.
Congratulations!!
Hi Heather! Long time reader here. So happy for you!!! Congratulations!!!
Hi Heather! Long time reader here. So happy for you!!! Congratulations!!!
Congratulations! Wishing you both all the happiness you can handle
Congratulations! That’s awesome news!!!
: ) Hooray! I just got back from my honeymoon and what do I think Monday morning? “I wonder if she’s engaged…” And to my delight– she is! You’re on my regular list of blog readings…which is my excuse for slight creepines at wondering about a stranger’s status.
Enjoy the moment . : )
Mazel-tov! Congratulations!!!!!
Yay!
Congratulations from another long time reader. I’m so happy and excited for you. Can’t wait to read about this new chapter in your life. Best wishes!
Huzzah! Best wishes to you and the Dork Lord! Enjoy all of the little moments along the way. (The big ones too, but the little ones will take your breath away, I promise.)
I have been reading your blog for a long time now. (I read Ari’s as well)…But It was weird cause i havent read in a few weeks..and I thought to myself “i wonder if her and “dork lord” got engaged yet”…Sure enough you did…Im so happy for you! Cheers to a long and happy life together. I just had a feeling
I’m one more of the “years reading, first time poster” group: Congrats!!!! So happy for you.
Does your face hurts from all the smiling?
What wonderful news! Enjoy every moment!!!
This gives me hope for my own 6 yrs of dating situation
Yay! So happy for you. Enjoy!
Congratulations Heather!!
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! So so so happy for you and your bicycle…errrr Dork Lord. Yay!
EN HORA BUENA! (como dicen los Españoles)
I am so happy for you guys. Congrats!
Seriously happy for you.
My boyfriend sort of hinted at marriage, and I was trying to understand what he was saying. In the process I ended up proposing to myself. Yeah, total HUMILIATION. He has since said he will ask properly, but has all but disappeared. Oh the wait for Godot. Anyhow, I am hoping that it’s my turn after you
Big hugs and super congratulations.
P.S – Wet willy?! Umm in the UK, that mean’s something ENTIRELY different.
Now then, I’ve been waiting for this formal announcement, seeing how you’re not a PHONE person, to make my congratulations official, to Sir Dork Lord for snagging you.
This Whole subtitle “A Blog That Celebrates Single Life at iVillage.com” is gonna need some tweaking. A Blog That Celebrates Life. Period.
So happy for you both! And LOVE that Phil didn’t know what “betrothed” was. Don’t want to spring “affianced” on him; he might sprain something.
So happy, I’ve just twirled.
Heather, I offer my heartiest Congratulations to you and yours. Its about time Girl!
Congratulations! You both sound like really cool, down to earth people, and like people who will be wonderfully happy in marriage. I wish you all the best!
One or the other has to be drunk or out of sorts. “But I wanted to be in the moment!” I don’t think it really happens. Usually surreal. So no more ‘plentyofish? offishally out of the pond. Did he sing, “Gimee that fillet o fish, gimee that fish” while presenting. I also take it there won’t be an elopement to Jazzfest for crawfish. Tov Mazel agin, Ms. Heather to you and Lord of hosts.
AHHH! Congratulations! Ive been reading for almost 5 years (wow, that sounds weird) and I too am as happy for you as if I knew you in real life! Enjoy every minute of your engagement and have a blessed marriage!
Okay, I know I’ve been ‘unplugging’ from the virtual world for a while, but still, how did I miss this? CONGRATS, CONGRATS, CONGRATS! !!!!
And your ring is absolutely stunning. I hope it gives you warm fuzzies everytime you look down at it, for now and for evermore.
Congrats to you both.
YAY congratulations! Drink lots of bubbles for me. I’ll try to catch up in the meantime
Congratulations! (for the billionth time apparently by the long comment list!)
I didn’t read through all the comments but I wanted to share this great wedding site (I’m not even engaged but I love reading about weddings!) called A Practical Wedding. You might already know about it, but I thought I’d send it your way just in case. Great ideas for folks who are planning a wedding on a budget or just don’t want to get sucked into the whole weddings cost $27k idea! And since I know you’re trying to get out of debt, I thought it would be right up your alley.
Congrats again!
oh wow! congratulations! I was offline for a few days and missed this when it came out (moving from an apartment to a house in town .. yay me..) so I just got the news… like so many others, only know you here… but have been rooting for you since I found you..
and keeping the secret like that? I would have LOST MY MIND!
Teresa
Congrats! Just read this…a bit behind on everything. Being engaged somehow seems to do that. I’ve had champagne in my fridge for about 2 months that people gave us shortly after getting back from vacation engaged.
Tons of congrats to you!
)
So, I’m new to your blog and felt the need to dig through the archives to find this post (especially since the subtitle of the blog is about being single). I know I’m completely missing the point, and I may regret asking, but what on earth are mini-pukes!?
leah
PS I guess I should also say that I am officially addicted to your writing and look forward to many lunch breaks with you.