Yesterday I emptied my savings account to write a check to the IRS (okay, not emptied – there’s still forty four dollars in there!) and while it did make me feel a little nervous to do it, it’s a far sight better than last year when I owed over three grand and there was nothing to do but save and save and incur nasty penalties. This year, I saved and saved in advance like one of those industrious ants in that Aesop fable about… you know, the ants and stuff. There were just so many things I didn’t plan on robbing the old nest egg for, like car problems and out-of-state weddings and such. But it turns out, that’s what savings are for and it does feel mighty good to pay cash for unexpected expenses.
My credit cards are all in support groups and I’m the one laughing the evil villain laugh. For once.
Now that I’m back to square one, we get to start saving for the wedding! This is a project I can totally get behind. I mean, it’s a year off and we’re already creating nerdy spreadsheets (and by we, I mean I. The Dork Lord seems happy to make mental projections and rely on my desktop handiwork. Which is fine). But since we’re putting this show on ourselves, the planning will have to be meticulous. And possibly involve bargains made with angry little men over the possession of our firstborn. Sure, Rumpelstiltskin might not be the fairy tale folks have in mind when they talk about a “fairy tale wedding” but I don’t know, it sounds like a good deal to me. Babies are really expensive.
Oh how wonderful! I’m very excited for you.
Good luck with it all. I know you’ll handle the planning beautifully and I look forward to hearing all about it.
You go, girl!
I hope you reach out to the internet for help with planning if you get overwhelmed. Your readers love you and some like me who have been reading for a long time are just trilled for you. P.S. reading about how you are progressing and taking control in the financial arena is really very inspiring. You go girl!
Woo-hoo for getting to square one! May not sound as nice as oodles in savings, but it’s a huge accomplishment.
Btw, I know you’re just starting out with all the wedding planning stuff, but you *have* to check out this website… it’ll save your sanity, I swear (I had no idea about the crazy-making-ness of weddings until I got engaged last fall):
http://apracticalwedding.com/
Congrats on getting back to square one! It might not sound as nice as oodles in savings, but it’s a huge accomplishment!
Btw, I know you’re just starting out on the wedding planning stuff, but check out this website – it will save your sanity:
http://apracticalwedding.com/
(I’m not even kidding… I had no idea the crazy-making-ness of weddings until I got engaged last fall).
Pooh, I had a feeling that was going to double post… ah, when will I learn to be patient.
Fish,
My husband and I spent $105 on our wedding. We took a couple of friends to the courthouse and did it there. Then we had a nice dinner with friends. I absolutely don’t regret it, but I never wanted the “fairy tale.” I’m not saying to go as extremely low-budget as we did, but keep in mind that it doesn’t have to break you. After all, the wedding is only one day … the marriage is forever.
And if you put “Mr and Mrs Dork Lord” on your thank you cards that would be AWESOME.
That Rumpelstiltskin fairy tale wedding thing…so very delightfully clever. Kudos. And I have huge respect for you paying for your own wedding.
YAY! I am excited that you’re excited to start saving and planning! My wedding is next month and we have paid for all of it ourselves and man am I pooped! Being thrifty is hard work. My best advice is to hunt down freelancers. We have saved probably $10,000 by using freelance vendors, friends, and friends of friends. Like, our photographer(friend of friend) gave us an amazing deal in exchange for us letting her use the photos for her portfolio.
I’m sure you’re going to be totally great at the thrifty wedding! And I’m sure you will have tons of support, great ideas and advice from all of your awesome readers!
Congrats again!
Hey, Fish-
Congrats on your upcoming wedding!! I’m getting married in May and have come to the conclusion that despite all my ‘Type A Personality’ planning, ulitmately, people are going to do what they want to do and you can’t do anything about it. Just remember not to let things that are out of your control bother you throughout this process. Focus on the bigger pictures. I’m still not certain if that piece of advice actually works:-) But that’s what people keep telling me anyway.
Also, we bought so MANY decorations for our wedding so once you figure out your theme and decorations needs, let me know and I’ll either give them to you or give them to you for a 50-75% discount. Us brides have to help each other out when it comes to conquering the wedding business!!! It is very expensive even to throw the smallest of small weddings.
Awww you quoted Rumpelstiltskin!!
this has made me happy.
Congrats on Square One. Jealous rears its head while it’s simultaneously relieving to hear that it can be done.
As for weddings, I was SHAMELESS. I, too, had spreadsheets and I didn’t care where I was or who I was speaking with, I asked for discounts/freebies/ways to save. I successfully bargained with our reception site merely by saying “we want to be out of here for x people for x dollars”. And I scoured the interwebs for deals on favors, invites, etc. It was well worth it. We got discounts places we never expected. It never hurts to ask and it certainly didn’t hurt us (or the overall experience) at all.
Good luck!
I have de-lurk to share this … go buy this book: http://www.amazon.com/Bridal-Bargains-9th-Fantastic-Realistic/dp/1889392294/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1271472353&sr=8-1. It’s written by wedding industry watchdogs, not insiders. It’s not for someone who is trying to DIY their whole wedding- it’s for people trying to get it all done on a small budget without gluing all their own invitations together while crafting their centerpieces and arranging flowers. And it will kind of make you ill when you realize what a rip off the whole Wedding Industry is. I found it hugely helpful in making strategic decisions. Oh, and Proflowers’ wedding section is amazing. Good luck and have fun!
A year? Argh! That isn’t long – eeeek!
I had 2 YEARS between my engagement and wedding and the wait felt interminable…but one bit of ‘advice’ my best friend gave me was that it is nice to have a long-ish engagement cos it is so damn nice being engaged.
At the time it felt half wonderful half ugh…but you know, I now have my whole life to be married
So very happy for you – congratulations!
Oooh! How exciting. I absolutely can’t wait to read about your wedding planning.
I’m getting hitched in August and managed to get my wedding dress off Ebay for £30! Brand new with tags and better than the ones I tried on in the shop. My favour boxes are also seeded so my guests can plant them after the big day and grow flowers rather than throw them away. I think, with planning, it’s easy to save cash (and be a little environmentally friendly too)but still have a great wedding. Good luck Fish
eBay! I got my dress (which everyone truly loved) for $100 on eBay. It was beautiful. If you’d like to see a pic, let me know.
We paid for our own wedding too, so really just focused on what were the most important things for us. Luckily, we both wanted simple, so it was easy to agree on details. Our big splurge was a live band–we met dancing, and dance is a big part of our lives, so that was an important thing for us. Otherwise, everything was really cheap. The food was cheap, but good. No one really notices the food much, anyway, if they’re having a good time overall.
One thing we’d do differently if we could: put disposable cameras on each table so you get pics of extended family. We thought people would have lots of digital pics to share (that’s all we really asked for in terms of gifts), but turns out they didn’t really take many pics of anything other than the ceremony.
Congratulations! Don’t stress about it–it’ll come together and be wonderful. Just remember, it is a wedding *industry*. They’re good at telling you what you just *HAVE* to have, but really, you don’t have to have anything other than you, your man, and friends and family.
Here is my dream wedding: http://www.weddingstogokeywest.com/?ovmtc=content&ovadid=6518321521 and my dress came from ColdWater Creek. And LOL we still don’t have a date set with the economy being as it is, me losing my health insurance and we need a new air conditioner before summer gets too bad. But that’s my fairytale. Congratulations, Heather, I am so happy for you!
Ah, good luck Fish. I am sure it will turn out fine. Just remember two things: (1) It is your wedding. (2) Weddings are supposed to be fun. Right? Right.
Love the wit too.
Congrats congrats congrats – a date finally YAY
I am sure it will be the event that i perfect for both the Dork Lord and you.
Be sure to put it out there that any suppliers reading your blog that cater to the areas you require quotations for services for your wedding get the chance to quote for you. We have championed and supported you for years and am sure that anyone that is a regular and touched by your words that could and are able would love to assist in any way they could for your wedding so caters, wedding dress boutiques, bar services, bonbenierre (sp), etcc… may all wish to help and cut down your budget to hel make your day the day of your dreams.
Best wishes for your upcoming wedding. I have no doubt you will do an excellent job planning it. Things have changed a great deal since I got married 20+ years ago, some for the better, some not so much. I disagree with the Amanda’s comment that people don’t notice the food if they are having a good time overall. Maybe I’m biased because food is what I do and I live in the South, where we notice the food. What I think people won’t notice is whether there are party favors. In fact, unless you’re giving away spa treatments, don’t bother! What’s with all the wedding favors? Don’t I have enough stuff coming into my house, especially with having children? I just can’t handle the turmoil over what it means if I don’t want to find a place to keep that trinket. Aren’t they my friends? Didn’t I have a good time? Don’t I want to remember the good time I had? I’m too tired and out of space! Just post or send photos of the wonderful event.
Woo Hoo! and Congratulations!!!!
I have some catch-up reading to do!!
This isn’t my website, but the weddings this chick has helped design and photograph are stunning. She utilizes a lot of thrift store touches etc… and everything is AMAZING. You should really check it out for cheap inspriration: http://www.promisetangemanblog.com
Planning the wedding is SO MUCH FUN! I won’t offer unsolicited advice, but please ask if you want any cost effective tips. We, too, were on a really tight budget but still managed to pull off a wonderful wedding with almost 200 guests in attendance (large guest list not my idea.)
There are lots of former brides that read this and I’m sure we can totally help you out! For example, I have a wedding dress, 2 tier slip, and table numbers that are still sitting around my house. I’d be totally willing to sell everything at a super reasonable price. Congrats again!
First of all, CONGRATS!! Second of all, the planning is going to be the most fun, most stressful thing you’ve done up to this point in your life. No matter how laid-back you are and how simple, small, whatever, you want your wedding to be, you are going to contemplate murder of at least ONE family member (yours or his) before it’s over. But it’s all. totally. worth. it! I got married 7 years ago, and I was on a tight budget as well, and we were paying for most of it ourselves. Ebay and Etsy were lifesavers for things you never thought of – I got wedding programs from eBay, complete with typesetting, for pennies. Lots of bridal shops are on ebay too, and I got a handmade veil for 1/5 the price of what I saw it in the shop, and I got a tiara on ebay for less than $100. Etsy was a great source for bridal jewelry and handmade attendant gifts. Candles, invitations, toasting glasses, blah blah blah all came from my florists’ 40% discount relationship with a major retailer (I don’t remember the name, sorry) but I think a lot of vendors have relationships like that with other vendors. Good luck and remember to breathe and have fun!
Not to long ago my wife and I had to plan and pay for a wedding on a shoe string budget… We decided to do it untraditionally, and went to Vegas and had an outrageous wedding…then we “surprised” our friends and family with a big reception and showed the video of our wedding…not for everybody.
In Dallas, however, we did look into the Dallas arboretum, great deals and if you can get lucky you can sometimes split the cost of tents etc., with another bride for the weekend. Beutiful place, and you can go as big or as small as you want and manage the cost that way…just an idea…
Hi Heather – I tried to find your email to send you this personally (so as not to look like I am using your blog for advertising) but I couldn’t find it anywhere – which I’m guessing is intentional
Anyway, I’ve been a reader for a long time and I also happen to design custom wedding invitations. I’d love to help out if you’re interested. Just let me know.
Congrats on the engagement, first of all! While everyone on here seems to have heaps of wedding advice, I have none of that to offer you. I am, however, a manager and tax law specialist for the IRS. Let me know if you need any advice in that arena to keep from owing money…and penalties can often be abated if you ask nicely!
Just remember (about babies, that is – and weddings): you get to register for stuff you need ahead of time. That’s part of the beauty (and the snxiety) of formally coupling up and having babies – other people know that you need start-up help, and they celebrate with you by helping you!
[Not in a bad way, either - most people are SO! happy for you!, and they really want to help.]
Just keep that in mind!!
Ha that is indeed a good fairy tale reference. Yay for saving for better things.
A friend (and pro wedding planner) is a master of the budget friendly wedding. She’s currently blogging about her own super chic, super budget savvy wedding!
Check her out here:
http://www.weddobsessed.com/