I’m still here. I have no intention of shutting down my blog completely, which is why I haven’t posted the official sign-off some of you are asking for. I might not have much to talk about right now, but that doesn’t mean it will always be that way.
In fact, last week, my nephew Andrew was born, which is among the most meaningful things I have ever participated in. His dad got very ill and I stepped in as birth partner to my sister. Extraordinarily moving. And I was going to post about it, but then I got back to my email and lo and behold, there were quite a few about the blog. And among the friendly how-are-you emails were a handful of why-haven’t-you-posted? and don’t-you-owe-your-readers-better? emails and it started to feel burdensome, right out of the gate.
Doing something out of obligation sucks all of the joy right out of it and all I want is to love it again, to actually need it again. Which may or may not make sense to you.
I’m living Ground Hog Day. Wherein Ground Hog Day is actually Pay the Bills Day. We’re living and working and sleeping and eating all with the goal of paying off our debt so we can start a family. We meet financial goals by maintaining a strict budget and we maintain a strict budget by not doing jack shit. That’s just the way it be. It is boring and repetitive and stifling sometimes. And it certainly isn’t anything to write about.
Since December of 2010, we have paid off roughly forty thousand dollars of credit card and student loan debt. We have about half of that left to pay and even typing that sentence makes me want to retreat back into the quiet of my spreadsheet. See?
It’s just the way things are and it won’t always be. So while I’m sorry to those I have offended by not making a proper exit, it’s just not something I’m ready to do.
Andrew Michael Christensen. Hours old and minutes away from puking down my shirt.