“What do we do when we fall off the horse?”
(silence)
“We get back on!”
“I’m sorry, Maury. I’m not a gymnast.”
Not five minutes after declaring my intentions to Paul, that I was taking a hiatus from the Man Scene, the following exchange took place in my office.
Coworker Paul: I have a question for you. A personal one.
H: (here we go again) No, I’m not dating anyone and no, I don’t want to meet your rich friend.
CP: He’s not like the last one! This one has a personality. And a Range Rover.
H: Paul, seriously. I thought I banished you from my office.
CP: That was yesterday. You don’t trust me, do you?
H: Don’t take it personally. I don’t trust anybody.
CP: My wife thinks he’s nice. He was over on Saturday for the game (insert really long story here) Next time we have a party, I’ll call you…
H: *sigh*
CP: He’s Greek. Tall. Dresses well.
H: (Greek? Yum!) Dresses well? Even by your standards? Wow.
CP: He just broke off his engagement…
H: Paul!!
CP: Three months ago! But because she was a nag! You can be a bitch, but not a nag.
H: Eh, true.
CP: Wait, how old are you?
H: Twenty-five. Better question, hold old is he?
CP: 31.
H: If I were to agree to meet him, that would be an acceptable age.
CP: Wait. You’re only 25? How are you so young and so…?
H: Spinsterly? It’s a gift.
CP: Shut up. Okay, next party, I’m calling you. But that means you have to give me your phone number.
H: We’ll see. Now, get out of here. I’m busy.
Oh, sigh. I’d say something about Coworker Paul always trying to set me up with his silly, plastic, affluent friends. Like he has a problem with me being single… but then again I have a problem with me being single. Not a big one. Well, not any bigger than making a pretty pink page to talk about it all the time.
We’ll have a good giggle over this one day. But right now, I really need that drink, the CD and some cough drops.
“TODD! Are you unaware that I get all farty and bloated from a foamy latte?”
“My mistake, Jacobim.”
“Your mistake indeed!”
“Spinsterly.”
because you know he wouldn’t have come up with that himself.
married people, as a group, need to chill the f*** out with the whole fixin’-up-the-single-folks routine. honestly, if you want to get married, it’s cool. everyone can make different decisions. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SINGLE PEOPLE. learn to deal. sheesh.
i think you are the funniest gal ever! i am recently single, and i needed a good laugh! come visit my website sometime!
25!!!! and the way you were saying things i was wondering if you were in your forties, divorced and warty.
hahahahaha
i had a wart on my finger in the 3rd grade. i think that counts.
Greek? Hmmm – I’d say you might be into the import phase of dating.
A little late to comment here, but…
I’m all weird and superstitious. I won’t date anyone 6 years older or younger than me. Opposite side of the Chinese zodiac and all. It would just never work.