Overheard at the office:
Employee #1: You have a gigantic hickey on your neck.
Employee #2: It’s not a hickey… It’s a bite mark.
Employee #1: Is there a difference?
Is there a difference? Shame for even asking! Yes, there’s a difference. And I’ll explain and enlighten since, you know, I’ve got nothing real to write about today.
Hickeys suck:
There are several ways to get a hickey. Anything that sucks will do the trick. A vacuum hose, even a coffee mug that you’ve sucked to your chin will leave such a mark. Though, clearly the preferred method is suction from another person’s mouth. A visible hickey is, like acne, an adolescent marker. To quote an experienced friend, it is “a concerted effort to brand one another” and is for teenagers fumbling around in back seats of their parent’s cars. Hickeys are soggy and require something of a time investment — quite a bit of sucking goes into a decently sized neck marker.
Bite me!
Precursor to a kiss, a little nip in the heat of passion may leave the same tell-tale bruising as the aforementioned hickey, but bite marks are a different beast entirely. Biting is not kids’ stuff. It’s sweaty, heady, a little pain-with-your-pleasure, I-want-to-devour-you stuff. It’s quick and surprising and very worth the investment of a good, all-purpose silk scarf if concealment becomes necessary. Besides, the same scarf may come in handy for other things. Like wrists.
And with that, I’m going to go take a nice, long walk and think pure thoughts.
Um. Thanks a lot. Now I need a nice long walk too.
i generally have the reverse problem. i am eternally chilled in the office – and am usually found wearing a scarf for warmth’s sake. people always assume the worst. (or is that ‘the best’?)
hmph.
Pure. Sure.
wow…how much fun have i been having today? I just discovered your site and feel fortunate for having done so. What’s even more fun is that you know Sarah Brown!! I am a friend of hers from back in Tulsa. Be sure and keep her company there in the city. Keep up the good work, you have a new fan.
Oh, Fish, am so glad to have you around to teach me such things. You are a woman of the world.
I thought you were more pleasure than pain?
And just to say hickeys don’t have to be on the neck. There are other places where the time and the effort are well worth the .. um time and effort.
Still not as much pleasure as biting …
I agree with Adrian, there are plenty of places to hide a hickey or a bite! But I am more intrested in a little pain, not to much that could so kill the mood if someone drew blood!lol
thanks for that very apt definition. i shall use my new-found knowledge at every opportunity…
In high school, there was this history teacher who would spy the offending neck blemish and proceed into some memorized speech of teenage backseat antics.
We would know he had seen someone with a hickey, but were looking around to see if we could see it too.
One time this girl seriously was surprised when he stood by her desk and “crowned” her with some set of animal horns (as was usual). She claimed it was old and she’d clearly forgotten about it.
Pure thoughts? Oh, Fish, that’s so you!
Yours in purity,
Oooh, so funny! Reminded of my days back in high school – some girl gave herself a nasty chin hickey with a styrofoam cup. Everyone called her Cup Hickey.
Ahhhh … memories.