Might have been big mistake kissing J.
And, then again, might not have. But will do my utmost to neurotically dismantle and re-live said moment over and over. Disecting will not change ultimate outcome, nor help my neurosis, but will take mind off work... so am thus being paid to obsess.
Will add said skill to resume.
(Am convinced this is genetic problem. Imagine will seek help in my early thirties.)