Received notice from IT that would be advisable to empty email of any unnecessary messages (ie not work related) as user folder is reaching "Full" status. On examination found that inbox contained the following number of unnecessary items:
206 from J (over last two weeks) consisting of movie quoting, flirting, one argument and one apology. (Will hold onto apology)
73 from Concerned Roommate on status of dreaded Christmas gift purchase for new boyfriend.
9 friendly reminders about company Christmas party (promptly deleted)
2 not-so-friendly reminders that Visa bill is late this month. (deleted and paid)
Inappropriate Email string of the Day:
J: YES!!!! You got one!!!! (referring to my finally-correct quoting of Crank Yankers call)
H: Yay! Do I get a prize?!
J: Yeah, you get me to NOT slap your ass...
H: Sheesh! That's the last time I quote something right! I said prize, not punishment.
J: Oh, it's like that, huh? Okay, I will keep spanking then. You know that is my ultimate weakness. I have to physically control my urges to slap women in the ass!
H: I think it's why they're padded more nicely than boys'. For smackin'. A good spanking can really make the day worth while.
J: Mmmm, spanking.....
H: Yes. I concur. There should be more spanking. Daily requirement or something.
J: I can't be expected to adjust this account thousands of dollars, when I can't get your ass out of my head...
H: Well, just try to think of something else! Like, hair pulling...
J: NOT HELPING!!!!