Update: According to sisterly sources, threat of Congestive Heart Failure less than minimal. Non-existent. NACF hospitalized for pneumonia (though, is not much relief). The UMF is at it again. Am inclined to think she would cease to exist should she be unable to wield the powers of drama and guilt. Like witch without ruby slippers. Powerless and frustrated with bunch of flying primates in funny costumes. Am v. glad is no place like home.
Saw v. scary movie with J last night. Note: Am not allowed, by many friends, to watch scary movies. Either end up crying (overdeveloped sense of compassion for frightened characters), or hiding face. But was Js suggestion as perfect antidote to UMF-induced stress. Spent last ten minutes of film clinging to Js hand, unable to move in seat, muttering things like, "No! Fuck, no! Oh. My. God."
J: You did good!
H: At least I kept my eyes open this time.
J: And you didn't cry!
H: I didn't cry. I almost did though.
J: You did good.
Went back to Js house where we bleached streaks in his v. black hair -- for purpose of dyeing said streaks midnight blue (to go with Js new, rock star image). While bleach was busy sucking beautiful color from his hair, went over Js finances and made budget for paying off rock star credit card bills. Yours truly sat busy at the computer making list of checks to be written while the rock star wandered in and out of the kitchen and living room in v. ADHD fashion, making pasta, watching Howard Stern and periodically sitting down at dining room table to say things like, "Is it bad?"
Had always thought J brought home much more bacon than self. Is not so. Simply spends as if he does. Am in possession of nicely padded savings account and J... well, J is J. Fiscal Responsibility seems just another word that makes him feel old. Roommates of J teased that was his accountant. Or wife. Felt more wife-like than accountant at the moment. Except for tax bracket changes, exchanged gold bands and well, other obvious benefits. Funny, never pictured self in sexless marriage. Found self repeating, Have not become my mother. Have not become my mother.