This Fish Needs A Bicycle

interview with a vamp

Interview questions courtesy of Miss Jezebel.

1. Is it ever acceptable to "slightly stalk" an ex-boyfriend and his new flame?
Hmmm. Acceptable? Sure. I mean, I wouldn’t call you crazy for doing it, but I personally wouldn’t stalk an ex and his new girl. I don’t want to know where they are, what they’re doing or how much better she looks in low-rise jeans than I do. It’s all better left up to my imagination which has them bickering constantly; him doing drive-by’s of my house because he misses me oh-so much and her steadily gaining weight and catching some horrible skin eating disease. That’s way better than stalking.
2. McDonalds or Burger King?
Why isn’t Wendy’s an option? What about the Frosty?? Given the limited options, I would have to go with MacDonald’s. They soak their fries in sugar water, and all their menu options so cleverly begin with Mc. So they’re not flame-broiled. I’ve got one word for ya: McFlurry. Yum.
3. Really, is a first date necessary before sleeping with someone?
Nah. A first, second and perhaps third date prior to the naughty are only necessary if you want him to hang around for an extended period of time. Most men have such a short shelf-life that the investment is hardly worth it. That is, unless you actually like the guy.
4. Your apartment is burning down, are you OK with a female firefighter rescuing you?
If she can heft this gal, more power to her. I’ve got no pride when it comes to having my tush rescued from a fiery inferno.
5. How old were you when you finally got rid of the training wheels on your two-wheeler bicycle?
Six? Five? Perhaps younger. That’s a question for my mom. But, as kids, we rode bikes like it was our job. You keep your training wheels too long and you get left behind.

Okay, so... if you want to get interviewed by This Fish... you know what to do. And if you don't know, here's the deal: leave a comment, send an email, etc. and I'll send you the questions. Ya dig?