August 26, 2003
by way of confession
Have been talking to J again.
Which, in a list of all possible vices, isn't so bad. Right? Because have also been going to the gym, taking vitamins, not drinking, paying bills on time and keeping my bedroom spotless. So, talking to J (being a minus) amid all those good things and the tally is still in the positive. Right? Of course, right.
Posted by This Fish at August 26, 2003 09:49 AM
I don't think it's a vice if you're not falling for him again. As long as you're honest about your relationship, I think it's fine.
Are you just talking to J or are you having feelings for J?
he still has the girlfriend, right?
Been there, done that, and I don't recommend it.
Depends on what's being discussed and whether you're able to stay detached.
Interesting development. Not surprising. Guys like J...they're catnip. Just be careful, Fish. And make him suffer for realizing what a flake he was and is....
it's as good or bad as you want it to be. life is unpredictable!
oh, and my answers are up on my page. i had so much fun answering the interview questions!!! :)
J is an evil initial. Run, Fish, run!
Yeah, I gotta agree with the hubster.
And still, you're doing all this good things and maybe only one (or two) bad things, but ya gotta figure that the one bad thing might just outweigh the good things...
Things in life don't really even out. You can't volunteer at a homeless shelter and then go out and kill someone.
However, it's your life, and you've got to live it the best way you can. What do we know? Half of us have been there. More than once.
If it matters enuf for you to talk about talking to him, it's too soon. Especially if you still have to justify it to yourself.
It matters that much that I'm talking about it? Ha! News Flash!! I talk about losing my keys and pedicures and Natalie Portman's underwear. The fact that I talk about it does not make it highly significant. Oh, and I spend hours justifying eating Ben & Jerry's and hating my job. Are you lost or did you MEAN to come read the blog of a neurotic? Cause, um, that's where you are.
the way you wrote that gives the impression it's not comfortably ok. there's a defensive, having to explain yourself undertone that suggests talking to him might be compromising your integrity and risking you emotionally again. Just one impression. One thing we can be sure of. You may have evolved, in this short time of separation, but J is unlikely to evolve, given his very obvious and inconsiderate blindnesses.
btw, "the way you wrote that" refers to your journal entry, not your response to the gbook poster :)
Fish, here's another thought. If he's with a new girl and he's eager to talk to you of a sudden, it likely means he's avoiding being committed to her. I mean, usually guys - not to generalize to much but... - when they've moved on, they stay moved on. She's going to get the treatment you got. J seems to have to fuck people over in his charming, (on the surface) means-well but is clueless kind of way. If I were her and knew he was chatting (up) a recent ex, I'd be a little freaked, a little threatened. Wouldn't you? Knowing how J is I mean? Trustworthy doesn't describe him, does it?
Blah. I have a couple of exes who are still amoung my absolute best friends in the world, and then I have the ex I lived with for two years who I absolutely cannot talk to under any circumstances without becomming totally miserable and insane. It's awesome if J can fit into that first ex category, but if he's leaning towards the second, I would run away very quickly.
I am, of course, truly grateful for any concern you nice people have, but please, please, kindly respect the Advice Free Zone which you have entered.
I'm a big girl. I'm living my life and I write about it here. We all have our inner demons and our inner saints. If I write to appease them, so be it. But please, don't tell me what to do.
It's your life. I'm just hear to read and observe.
I'm not sure if that comment was partially directed at me or not, but I apologize if you took what I said as advice. It wasn't meant that way, merely as a reflection on myself.
I don't think any of us are giving you advice, just responding to your questions in the entry of "right?" If those are rhetorical and you don't want reactions to the entries about J, do let us know. I would hope you know you're supported.
be careful. your tender heart at stake, fishie...