Before I put another notch in my lipstick case
You better make sure you put me in my place
I fully admit that on many levels, I am a walking contradiction.
Tidy to the point that, save for actual diagnosis, I could very well print the letters OCD after my name, the way some follow with Jr. or Esq. But to throw a spoke in the wheels of true cleanliness, it takes me months to get around to doing my laundry. Months. I don’t know anyone who owns three clothes hampers. I don’t really think I know anyone else who needs three clothes hampers. It’s just that, the same voice urging me to clean my kitchen stove with a Q-tip fails to say anything in regard to the amassing pile of worn-once clothing.
Contradiction.
And as I stood on the 4 Express this morning, rocking out to Pat Benetar, I took stock of my contradictory behaviors and philosophies on the love front as well. Now, here is where I start laughing at myself. You know, for using the word 'love' with regard to my associations with men.
See, I totally have a thing for men who treat me carelessly. I dig them. But, not on a conscious level, of course, because I’m the first to go on endless rants about insensitive pricks.
Send me a man who understands right off that there’s definitely more to this girl than meets the eye and suddenly, I’m a frigid bitch. But throw me a fella who can’t possibly appreciate me, and I’ll work harder than a piano mover to keep him on the line.
Why?
Because if I don’t have to work for it, it can’t possibly be worth anything. Duh.
Leave me flowers on my doorstep, and I’ll forget to return your calls. But make everything a priority over me and my heart is yours. Besides, the nice ones don’t fight back, which really takes the sport out of the whole thing anyway.
It’s so very Aiden versus Mr. Big, I know. But at least I can admit it. And it does give me something to do when I’m not cleaning the stove with Q-tips.
This Fish. It’s like Sex and the City, only with far inferior footwear.
I, too, have OCD complicated by laundryphobia. I loathe doing laundry, which only leads to enough clothes to fill 3 closets and two dressers. We do not even want to discuss how many pairs of, err, undergarments I own!
PS. What is the fun if they don't fight back ;)
Posted by: Blue at April 21, 2004 09:41 AMdrop it off, for 60 cents a pound it's sooooooo worth it!
Posted by: SR at April 21, 2004 09:54 AMI have three hampers. It drives my neat-nick hubby, who does laundry after half a basket is full, crazy.
But then, that's part of the fun.
As for the bad boy syndrome-- yeah... that happens. But look what happened with Mr. Big eventually. It just took a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng time for him to turn knight in shining armor. And then she had to trip him to stop him.
Posted by: Kim at April 21, 2004 10:10 AMI have four hampers so, ha! And sadly no, I'm not kidding.
And I always wanted Carrie to end up with Big, b/c I do think the things you work hardest for matter the most in the end. And also, there's a reason sometimes you can't get someone who doesn't "make sense" for you out of your blood.
Posted by: bond girl at April 21, 2004 10:34 AMWait, so you're saying that I shouldn't have sent you flowers last year? ;-)
Posted by: Frankenstein at April 21, 2004 10:37 AMI guess I have a hard time relating....I'm a sucker for the nice guy. I never understood the Aiden / Mr Big thing. Give me Aiden! I even thought he was way cuter than Mr Big.
Laundry aversion I can totally understand.
Posted by: lainey at April 21, 2004 11:02 AMI also have more clothes than I can count... There is a basket somewhere under the pile I just know it... And I have 2 baskets of freshly cleaned and folded clothes waiting to be put away.
In the end, I'm sorta glad Mr. Big won, I think he can take care of Carrie. And GOD I love the shoes!!
Posted by: Cher at April 21, 2004 12:21 PMas tori amos says, "our generation loves its pain, and if you try to take it away from us, WE WILL KILL YOU."
i never cease to marvel at my own heart's ability to utterly sabotage itself. i very nearly scuppered at the outset a great relationship with a Very Nice Boy because i couldn't quite get over the ghost of the dangerous burning emotional deathtrap of a relationship i'd been in previously. it was like part of me wanted to be stuck in that particular feedback loop perpetually.
of course, wallowing in misery DID help with my songwriting quite a bit...
Posted by: shivery at April 21, 2004 12:47 PMbut you know, it's always the mr. bigs in the world that are so appealing
Posted by: twisted at April 21, 2004 01:18 PMI've been with my Dallas version of Mr. Big for four years now. I've loved every minute of it, even the minutes I hated.
He does fight back. It's the most fun.
Posted by: nongirlfriend at April 21, 2004 01:20 PMOnly 3 hampers? wow... i wish i could get to that level. I've got a 3 hampers, a laundry basket, and a growing pile on my floor. *sigh* and I keep saying that I'll get to it. I need to find one of those places that'll do it for me.
I never ever thought of that before. Wow... Brillant Idea. Thanks SR. hmmmm
I'm amazingly anal about how clean and organized some things are, and not at all about others. Off to find someone to do my laundry for me!!
Posted by: Autumn at April 21, 2004 02:10 PMOkay, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PROMISED BRAZILIAN WAX POST?!
Posted by: shakeit at April 21, 2004 03:40 PMAs a fellow OCD-cleaning type who refuses to do laundry, may I propose my theory on such things? Cleaning a stove, a bathroom, glass coffee table offers satisfaction. You can *see* it's glorious sparkly-ness; a simple bit of input work yields an exact outcome. Laundry offers no such satisfaction. Not only can you barely see if clothes are cleaner as they never really *looked* that dirty, they actually look worse the more you wash them.
And yes, I obsessively-compulsively over-analyze everything, too.
Posted by: deb at April 21, 2004 04:42 PMA friend of mine once said, "You gotta treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen."
*shrugs*
Posted by: Jack at April 21, 2004 06:26 PMwe have four hampers. FOUR!
and i bet you have fabulous shoes.
Posted by: julia at April 21, 2004 08:23 PMThe hard ones to catch are definietly better becuase you've earned them somehow,but the Mr. Big's of the world lose their luster, unless of course they change, but that is a reality left for HBO series.
Funnily enough, I found that it's the bad boy who was only ever supposed to be a fling who turned out to be the charmer. The supposedly sweet good boy ex who treated me with the same care and consideration one would afford a useless inanimate object, like, say, some shiny but oh-so last season's 80's revival look ear rings. Shrugs.
Posted by: Dani at April 21, 2004 10:41 PM