I did something last night that I have not done in a long time.
I played the straight man.
Sitting with our fingers and toes under the fans and UV lights, Ari and I passed our manicure downtime in snarky gossip. Men, bad writers, mothers. At a rather high point in the conversation, Ari said something so spot-on clever that I didn’t laugh so much as I snorted. And then, as she attempted to describe someone as smart and funny…
“… so smun and farty…”
“Wait, did you just say… farty??”
A titter went up around the nail parlor. And from that point, we were the entertainment. A conversation for two had turned into a comedy act with an audience of… what, half a dozen?
“How’s your mom?”
“Better. I swear, Neiman Marcus is probably sending out a search party… flashlights in the windows of my parents’ house. ‘Where are you? Why aren’t you spending money?’”
The woman across the table stifled a laugh. Ari was on. Everything that came out of her mouth was riotously funny. Me? I didn’t do much but laugh, and set ‘em up so Ari could hit them out of the park.
After a while, a manicure finished up and a well-dressed, middle-aged woman came to dry her nails.
“Girls,” she said. “I just couldn’t help overhear you. You’re just so smutty… er, I mean, smart and funny.” She winked.
“We’re smutty, too!”
”Yes, but don’t tell our mothers.”
We let our nails dry longer than necessary; it would have been a shame to leave before we were out of good material.
And as we walked down First Ave, my cheeks hurting from laughing, I realized that as much as I love to be the one in the spotlight (who, me?), playing Ethel to a really good Lucy is just as amusing. Or maybe more so, because it requires less energy.
That was by far one of the most scandalous mani/pedi's in history. Hilarious. They were so... frigid!
Posted by: Ari at May 18, 2004 12:38 PMJust remember: I love you both ... in different ways! And no talking out of school, please.
Posted by: Michael at May 18, 2004 03:10 PM