When I was young, the idea of ‘running errands’ seemed very grown up and glamorous. It is fairly safe to say that Barbie had as many errands as she did romantic encounters in my house of dreams. Somewhere on par with having my very own fairy godmother was having my very own to-do list.
While I have come to grips with the fact that I will never have a pleasantly plump fairy to bippity-boppity-boo me into haute couture, I am blessed with the reassurance that I will also never be without my to-do list. And it is so very glamour-free.
Yesterday’s post-it note took me to a handful of stops on the Upper East Side: Victoria’s Secret, Barnes & Noble, PetCo, Duane Reade and the corner fluff & fold where I picked up my *gulp* twenty-three pounds of laundry.
Plagued with the idea that I’d forgotten to add something to my list, I hurried home to get ready for the evening’s affairs. I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out what I’d neglected to purchase. This is what you get for not writing it down, I scolded myself in the shower. You’re gonna be bugged all night.
And when I stumbled in to bed at a quarter of three this morning, it finally hit me -- or rather, every single piece of furniture from the living room to the bedroom hit me. I needed light bulbs.
Or shin guards. Or a miner's hat? That'd be sweet.
Or shin guards with light bulbs..
Posted by: Ms Koolaid at June 25, 2004 09:32 AMWell, shin guards with light bulbs are just plain practical. And night vision goggles. Every single girl should have them. I would have especially appreciated such paraphernalia when I was trapped in the subway during the blackout last August and had to escape through a narrow tunnel with only my cell phone to light the way.
Posted by: Esther/Madonna at June 25, 2004 10:05 AMAnd BTW, guess who else was up late (except beating the lateness of your bedtime by nearly three hours)...
Posted by: Esther/Madonna at June 25, 2004 10:06 AMWould shin guards with light bulbs be practical?
I mean either you would be able to see where you are going, thus not needing a shin guard because you won't bump into anything OR you would bump into something anyway and in all likelihood bust out the light --in which case those shinguards would be mighty handy.
Of course I can relate to the idea of using a cell phone -- what would we do without them? they keep us in touch in a myriad of ways, alarm when we have appts, tell us the time and can provide light in a pinch ---
Posted by: akaellen at June 25, 2004 10:41 AMI'm not a fan of shin guards (the boys made fun when I played volleyball during Junior High) so I think that the miner's hat is the way to go. Much more stylish if procured from the right designer shop. Maybe Victoria's Secret could come up with a very nice addition to their collection and you could have killed two birds with one stop.
Posted by: Christine at June 25, 2004 11:16 AMHow about a state trooper flashlight, one of those big heavy ones they use to beat noncompliant motorists senseless with? The Home Depot in Paramus should have one or two. (And they're great for making bicycles behave properly, or so I've heard.)
Perhaps you need to shop at Target rather than Victoria's Secret. VS is the best men's store ever. Shop online if you must, but stay out of our turf. :>)
Posted by: Michael at June 25, 2004 01:29 PMI suddenly had a vision of the VS 'flashlight bra'. In a pinch you reach into your shirt, flip a switch and suddly a spotlight beems from between your breasts. OR better yet from each nipple, like the fembots in Austin Powers... Or am I the only one who thinks of things like this?
And NO I'm not a pervert. I a CHICK, so I'm allowed!
Posted by: Shawn at June 25, 2004 01:47 PMI fully support the fem-bot flashlight nips!!
Posted by: Fish at June 25, 2004 01:53 PMmaybe what you REALLY need is a chippendale's flashlight.
Posted by: ac at June 25, 2004 01:54 PMOooo... light up bras. This is the stuff dreams are made of.
Of course, me being the plain old jane that I am, I'd go for the mag light. They've got a lifetime guarantee and are heavy enough to severely injur any poor schlub who's had the misfortune of trying to break into my apartment. I'm all about the multi-tasking!
Posted by: Stimulant at June 25, 2004 03:27 PMPicture this Advert:
The scene some swank socialite party everyone is dressed in black except one. Zoom focus on a well dressed Tyra Banks, she of the pink dress and stunning bosom. Suddenly the power goes out and we see nothing. “Wait,” you hear Tyra shout, “No-one move!”.
She reaches into the bodice of her dress and everyone hears a ‘click’. Suddenly twin beams of light shoot out from her chest, illuminating the far wall. As she turns the orbs of illumination play across the astonished faces of the crowd…
Fade to announcer…and picture of the flashlight bra from VS…
anyone else remember the flashlight slippers from years back?
Posted by: Shawn at June 25, 2004 04:28 PMI know one or two pleasantly plump fairies in New York who would be more than happy to give fashion advice ;)
Posted by: John at June 25, 2004 04:45 PMI'm nothing without my lists. A list making fool. So if you still need any light bulbs...
Posted by: Marcia at June 25, 2004 07:34 PMWouldn't just having candles be more practical?
Posted by: Lauren at June 25, 2004 10:24 PMI thought To Do Lists were the very definition of being a grown up woman when I was just a young thing. Never in my wildest dreams imagined they'd be the ball and chain to which my very existence is tied...Palm, Daytimer, Outlook - tasks, tasks, tasks. I tend to prefer the paper lists, though, if I have to choose. Those damn RED LETTERS on the electronic past due ones are simply more than I can bear...
If someone here with some gumption actually produces one of those flashlight bra thingy's, I'll take two.
Posted by: Jennifer at June 26, 2004 10:05 PMNow a flashlight bra would be a great thing for the next 'big ole bag of sex education' a far more practical 'gift' than honeydew flavored condoms.
Posted by: browniethoughts at June 27, 2004 01:55 PMMy brother bought himself one of those miner lights, only it was on a headband of sorts (some Eastern Mountain Sports thing, I think) and my sister used to tell of him running around his house in the middle of the night with all the lights off and just the headlamp on.
Posted by: Michael R at June 28, 2004 02:20 PM