This Fish Needs A Bicycle

a very barbie birthday

Sometime around 10:00, the receptionist called to say I had a box at the front desk. Justine and I both jokingly decided that the box (which had been sent next day air) was too heavy to be any thing really good. You know, like, plane tickets to Cabo San Lucas or a check for a million dollars. That sort of thing.

Curious, I opened the box right there in reception. Underneath a substantial layer of crumpled newspaper, I found what is to date the silliest mother present ever.

Ever.

Barbie paper plates. Barbie napkins. Barbie paper cups. Barbie party hats and noise makers. Pink candles. Balloons. Completely non-edible icing cake toppers (also Barbie). Two disposable round baking pans. A cake mix. And pink frosting with sprinkles.

“Now, I have a real present on its way, but it’s been delayed,” my mother said when I called to thank her for the Box of Never-Ending Pink. “I just thought this had to get there on the right day.”

I can’t tell you what a fight I had with myself to refrain from opening the frosting right there in my office. And even despite Goldner’s insistence that frosting was a legitimate food group (TWO legitimate food groups if it has accompanying sprinkles), I held off. Until now. The cake is baked and frosted (albeit not entirely attractive, as I don’t have the patience for the whole two-layer-round-cake bit) and I’m about to help myself to a piece. Or two. I may even light a candle and sing, though that seems rather sad.

Tomorrow night, the actual birthday festivities get underway with some indoor, on the floor dining at Benjamin’s place. It promises to be conspicuously lacking in barroom antics with the scales tipping in favor of good food, good company and a very subtle, Barbie theme.