November 29, 2004

wheelchair stigmata & the straight and narrow

It was nothing short of a Thanksgiving miracle: My brother broke his ankle and we got to skip all the lines at Disneyland.

Perhaps the breaking of the ankle wasn’t entirely fortuitous, but not waiting in the 95 minute line for Pirates of the Caribbean was personally very worth the blisters I got from pushing him around in a rented wheelchair all day. I still have the marks on my palms – my wheelchair stigmata.

I also drove my brother across the desert from Los Angeles to Utah Valley. In a blizzard. We traded in the wheelchair for his 4WD truck and made what is normally a nine hour drive in no less than fourteen hours. I have to say the highlight of the journey was when we slid OFF THE ROAD and into a DITCH.

“Jay, we’re going off the road.” I said. I’d felt the wheels grab at nothing and the truck start to take its own course.
“Okay. It’s cool… just turn into it.”

As calmly as all that, I did just turn into it and off we went, like dozens of other cars we’d seen along the snowy highway, into the steep shoulder. But unlike the dozens, we had four wheel drive and a road savvy big brother.

“You handled that very well,” he said when we were back on the road a short time later.
“Oh, you think? Because I felt like crying.”

For the rest of the treacherous drive, we followed closely behind a semi, following in the tracks it left, taking advantage of its size and road wisdom. We also took his license plate number and truck ID to send him a thank you note. You know, for keepin’ us out of harm’s way and on the straight and narrow.

It was kinda like that poem, Footprints. Only, with less Jesus and more tires.

Posted by This Fish at November 29, 2004 03:39 PM
Comments

"It was kinda like that poem, Footprints. Only, with less Jesus and more tires."

Greatest. Simile. Ever.

Posted by: Kimberly at November 29, 2004 03:52 PM

nothing like a family bonding moment when your in a ditch. ahhhh holiday memories.

Posted by: B at November 29, 2004 04:03 PM

Been in the ditch situation many times, and I still feel like crying every time. What a good sis you are!

Posted by: Jazzy at November 29, 2004 04:05 PM

Sounds like you had a good Thanksgiving. So did I. And I REALLY don't want to be back at school! *cries like baby* I wanna go hooome!

Posted by: lauren at November 29, 2004 04:30 PM

Now, wait a minute. Jesus drove an 18-wheeler, y'know ....

Posted by: Lex at November 29, 2004 05:10 PM

'Loaves and Fishes Catering and Wholesalers: Sermons on The Mount a Specialty'

Posted by: Stuart at November 29, 2004 05:21 PM

I feckin' second the Greatest Simile Ever comment. Feckin' Brilliant!!
At least going off the road didn't bust his other ankle.
Disneyland first, then blizzard. Yuck!

Posted by: Robotnik at November 29, 2004 05:49 PM

wow, your thanksgiving sounds AWESOME. mine...not quite as exciting. Way too much family time. and I must 3rd that BEST.SIMILE.EVER. comment. Brilliant.

Posted by: citygurl at November 29, 2004 06:01 PM

That drive sounds absolutely delicious, though full of empty calories.

Sounds like the Best Thanksgiving Ever.

Posted by: JJ at November 29, 2004 06:19 PM

I hate when I think of a great comment while I am reading the post and by time I open the comments section, my comment has already been made. I want to 4th the "Greatest. Simile. Ever." comment. Kimberly said it best. :)

Posted by: Carrie at November 29, 2004 07:11 PM

Hey. More of Jesus was there that you may have thought. I'll bet my life he was driving that truck. Much love and many blessings...

Posted by: Jane at November 29, 2004 07:45 PM

And I thought I was being a loyal sister by agreeing to go bowling with my brother this weekend.

Thanks for the laughs - I always enjoy your writing!

Posted by: Jenny at November 29, 2004 08:10 PM

Oh man... should've told me you were going to Disneyland. I know the secrets of the Fastpass, even without breaking any bones.

Posted by: Keith at November 29, 2004 10:41 PM

Must be some Pirate Theme running around the net this week.

Glad you got out of the ditch though! Way to go!

Posted by: Rafael at November 30, 2004 01:23 PM

Jesus drives a truck? He is just a goddamn General Factotum, he is. Or, the Captain of Verisimilitude. Doesn't he have better things to take care of?

Posted by: Robotnik at December 1, 2004 09:33 AM

Better things than me?

No.

Posted by: Fish at December 1, 2004 09:36 AM

Sorry that the Great (Snowy) state of Utah had it out for you! I can't believe that you were in my state when I wasn't! And I applaud your level headed-ness in the unintentional off-roading experience. I also have to 5th that comment. Oh so funny! ;p

Posted by: pickledkitty at December 2, 2004 12:53 AM