This Fish Needs A Bicycle

I'm with you.

i missed you at my birthday party :(

Oh Lord... whatever you do, do NOT read Nick Hornby's book How to Be Good. That sent me into a philosophical crisis that kept me up until 4am thinking about it for at least three nights in a row.

On the other hand, Po Bronson's "What should I do with my life" set me on the road to happiness and inner fulfillment, as much as a self-help book actually can.

I don't have orphans to deal with, though. Or a great job. Yet.

Some day.....

Find a book called "The Four agreements", It is an afternoon read and a lifetime of practice. There is a chapter about doing the best you can at any given moment. absolute right is an unrealistic expectation most of the time. We have a legal system the counts on the fact that there is a gray area. Contentement with myself and confedence in my decision making ablities, made me and everyone around me much happier.

you are discovering the process of maturity dispite yourself:)

Rock on fish, your just fine.

Yes, I agree, don't read How To Be Good! (I just finished that last month).

I say, if you're going to be stuck at home with three orphans, John Corbett coming over with some champagne is definitely a plus!

The movie Raising Helen (I assume that's what you're watching) got me thinking about how I would react if I were in the same position as the main character. I don't think I fared all that much better than you.

I'm new to posting 'round here - great site!

As geek as this sounds I based my ideas of right and wrong on comic books when I was a kid. It replaced religion since my parents didn't really have any. I'm the guy who goes into existential crisis mode at least once a week. I am learing to moderate. I do that by attempting to set aside some time each day to meditate, to clear the mind of all thought. I discover that works best for me, not thinking. In that time I've come to realize that my life will never be as morally complex as a really good "thinking" movie or as simple as some earth shattering superhero crisis. Instead I have some basic personal principles as a bed rock and move forward with the faith that my instinct will lead me in the right direction. And if I go astray? Well there is always the ability to sincerely apologize, amend, and change. Today I really can't do that much damage to the structure of the universe.

I'm not sure there's an "absolute anything" other than in a mathematical proof. I'd bet that when it comes to life in general, there are NOTHING but grey areas.

I had a crisis as well last night, Fish. What a coincidence. However, my crisis was more along the lines of, "Why am I here and not at home with my mommy RIGHT NOW?"

College is still rough. Everytime I think I'm over the homesickness for good, it strikes again.

I saw that movie with a career-minded all-work mom and she was absolutely cringing with guilt during the entire film. Wonder what that super-dad movie Spanglish is going to do to her?

I've read all of your blog... mostly at my silly monkey job.... and I've come to think perhaps you and I are living in parallel worlds... as quite often a lot of the things that happen to you it appeared I was going through at the exact same time.... This seals it..... I finnished watching Raising Helen last night at 11.

:-) I totally understand your crisis.....

J.

I sometimes wonder about the right and wrong as concepts too. It seems clear to me though that almost nothing in the real world is black and white. In fact absolutist positions are a danger sign for me, which made watching the recent elections very upsetting.

Most of us never have to face a profound moral test. Films like Schindler's List leave me with a sense of admiration but also a nagging doubt. Would I have had the courage? I tell myself I do and would, but until I get to that bridge I'll never know if I can cross it...

To me, the everyday test is this: If I do this thing, am I taking advantage of someone else? If I am then I shouldn't do it.

Having said all this I have to issue this disclaimer: last night I got all teary-eyed watching Resse Witherspoon stand up for herself in Legally Blonde. So you have to discard pretty much everything that comes out of my mouth.

I don't know if I'd be strong enough to handle the three orphans of a lost sibling, but I would DEFINITELY be strong enough to handle John Corbett on his way over with the champagne. Hope your transition to adulthood makes you happy. You're still so young, enjoy it while you can!

I had that same reaction to Raising Helen! You know, I don't think it's so selfish. What kind of mother will you be if you don't have a sense of your self and goals and accomplishments that you take pride in? One with pretty dull, and potentially subconsciously sexist children! The balance is possible. Or at least, I have to believe that. So believe it with me, and that makes two of us.

OMG, you are too funny, I can sooo relate. What's right and wrong these days? It's so hard. I was feeling kinda "thinky" last night too. Because, they just hiked up the rent on my apartment (in L.A., which I know isn't as expensive as NYC but still ain't cheap), and it's like, is it WRONG to kind of mention that in passing to my mom on the phone? Just because I'm aware that the result might be her offering to increase her contribution to the V Fund? It's all so complicated, I think your pint of Godiva just might be the solution. :)

Perhaps the best moral questio is this:
You have a girlfriend and some other girl (who is really hot) wants to sleep with you.
Regretfully, it isn't a dilemna I have had to worry about in my life.

Oh and did you know ice-cream is 50% air!? So at least its only really half-a-pint of fat you will be adding by eating it! And judging by your half-face photo on the homepage, eating it won't be the worst crime in the world!

Yeah I saw that movie too. I've found Lost in the Cosmos: The Last Self-Help Book by Walker Percy helpful when I'm waxing philosophic.

I can't tell you how many times I've felt "thinky" on a Saturday night - in fact, I felt thinky this past Saturday night as well while home alone watching her other hit involving sabotoging the gorgeous Matthew Mconahay. :)