We’d made it successfully through the aisles of the Atlantic Center Target without having picked up anything not on our lists of necessities. We were equally as restrained at shoe-buying earlier in the day. But the racks of $9.94 DVDs stopped us cold.
Sarah and I must have picked up and set down at least half a dozen titles apiece before reining in our desires and settling on Romeo + Juliet and So I Married an Axe Murderer, respectively. We couldn’t leave without something – on the list or no! It’s really no short of a miracle that I made it out of there without a copy of Steel Magnolias (Drum, eat shit and die!) or any number of Drew Barrymore flicks (what collection is complete without Never Been Kissed or Ever After, I ask you?). But, it turns out, in the face of impulse buying, all I need is a little help from my friend, and Sarah and I were safely on our way with only a minor dent in our budgets.
Later, snacking on rice krispy treats and wincing over the gauntness of DiCaprio’s Romeo, Sarah said, “Man, this almost makes me want to be 19 and believe in love again.”
“Not me.”
“Well, I said almost.”
We decided we did not want to be 19 again for anything, even it did mean a refreshed view on romance. We also decided that Romeo was the original Emo boy. All he was missing were some dramatic glasses and blue Manic Panic hair color.
Sarah and I belied our romantically disaffected states by both shouting, “No! Don’t do it!” as Romeo popped the top on this vial of poison (which, incidentally, looked an awful lot like a sample of CK One. I’m just sayin’.).
Why does it always have to end that way?!
I mean, it’s a tale of woe and all, but jeez! Couldn’t Juliet have gotten knocked up and the Star Crossed Lovers gotten forced to live in that Mantua trailer in poverty, fighting over Romeo’s new Direct TV dish and how he never whispers sweet nothings in Iambic Pentameter anymore… like real people? There’s some woe for ya! Come on! There’s nothing more tragic than a 16 year old baby daddy who writes really affected poetry. No one’s got to die!
My walk home was significantly more somber than the rest of my afternoon. Thank goodness I’d picked up a Mike Meyers flick. It saved what would have otherwise been a solemn evening spent obsessing, If only that letter had gotten there in time!
I love "So I married an Axe Murderer" HILARIOUS!
Posted by: Rafael at December 6, 2004 02:15 PMNot to be snarky or anything, but it's Mantua, not Manchua. Thought you might want to know.
Posted by: anon at December 6, 2004 02:18 PMThanks.
Posted by: Fish at December 6, 2004 02:24 PM "...un -love -ed..."
Those are all classic movies! I miss my girlfriends back in the states and chick flicks on a 'school night'. Shame on your for not buying Steel Magnolias. boo hiss boo. Reminds me of college days (getting sentimental now) when I played Annelle in a play somewhat imitating the original movie...... I was a great geeky hairdresser! *insert proud chest puff* Aww, good times. *raising glass* Here's to love! and university theater classes!
Cheers,
-A
PS- have you seen "Down With Love"? I picture your personality similar to Renee's in the movie...
I recently did a show (theatre) that examines what would have happened had Romeo and Juliet not died, gotten married and moved to Long Island.... complete with rugrats.
Truly amusing.
Posted by: Stim at December 6, 2004 03:22 PMRalph and the silver dollar pancakes... mother of god, it gets me EVERY time
Posted by: Ari at December 6, 2004 03:28 PMI still maintain that when he put his boxers on without standing up, that was pretty hot. And I'm not even into him.
Posted by: Sarah B. at December 6, 2004 03:41 PMThere must be some equation to the free time I had as a 19-year-old and the assholes I dated. I think I might not be smarter now, just more efficient.
And you should always buy when presented with Dolly, Genius of Pigeon Forge.
"so, i married an axe murderer" makes me want to go out and pick up a haggis (sp?) also, the line, "now he's going to go have a cry on his gigantic pillow" makes me crack up whenever i think of it.
Posted by: nikki at December 6, 2004 06:07 PM"EVIL like the "Fruits of the Devil" ... Evil.. "
Everytime I hear that line, I can't stop laughing. What a great movie!
I'd go back to 19 in a second. With that whole "knowing what I know now" provision.
"We have a piper doun! A piper is doun!"
Posted by: LiAps at December 6, 2004 07:40 PMGopi, that is the sickest thing I have ever seen. Where ever did you come across it?
Posted by: Daniella at December 6, 2004 07:43 PMGeez. Now I don't feel so bad picking up that copy of I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE at Best Buy. Despite the title, a great little 50's film.... Where is Gloria Talbott when you need her?
Posted by: WestSideB at December 6, 2004 07:57 PMSomeone always has to die in highly emotional heart string pulling drama's
Posted by: Jen at December 6, 2004 08:09 PMShakespear was just waaay to dramatic for my taste.Give me "A Life Less Ordinary" any day of the week. I mean what better cast could there be than Ewan McGregor, Holly Hunter, Delroy Lindo and Stanley Tucci? And to be directed by Danny Boyle, the guy who sold out after Trainspotting (a truly endearing film would you not agree?) and redeeming himself with 28 Days Later (another tear jerker)? Wow.
Okay, one without Cameron Diaz, but still. Who could resist a plot line in which our hero kidnaps the daughter of a wealthy business magnet, avoids death by some cornball bounty hunters, and ends up in love with the the kidnap victim without spending fifty years in prison. I mean its the most romatic use of Stockholm Syndrome ever. Ever I say!
For a term paper in one of my English classes in college, I decided to rewrite "Romeo & Juliet" in blank verse but with a modern (well, c. 1981) sheen. I just let the characters go where they would, and where Juliet went was to interrupt Romeo and Tybalt during their fight to say that, basically, they were both worthless drunken frat boys and she had better things to do with her time.
I got an A-minus.
Posted by: Lex at December 6, 2004 10:21 PMFish: That is great. Romeo+Juliet is totally great. I love it. What I almost love more is your ending to the story. Ha!
Posted by: Princess of Power at December 6, 2004 11:23 PMWell, I'm just catching up again. So I just now voted for you. There were three ahead of you so I had to check them out. I was unimpressed and you are still my favorite.
Posted by: Randall at December 7, 2004 03:45 AM"If ya want me bah-dy, dontcha tink I'm saxy, come on sugarrr let mia kno."
Classic Myers.
Posted by: Robotnik at December 7, 2004 01:38 PMRomeo + Juliet is one of my favorite films. It frustrated me less than the actual play itself. I agree with you... no one's got to die! Maybe I'm too much of a girl.
Posted by: Willful Exposé at December 7, 2004 07:17 PMAren't those cheap dvd displays @ Target both wonderful and terrible? I have a hard time ignoring them, too :)
Posted by: Principessa at December 7, 2004 09:35 PMWas Romeo and Juliet sad? When I saw the Franco Zeffirelli version as a child, my mom sent me from the room the moment Olivia Hussey bared her breasts, so I never got to see the end, and my illiterate ass was spared years of misery.
Ahh, Olivia Hussey! Still lookin' good to this day...
Posted by: brandon at December 8, 2004 12:41 AM