I ate some questionable yogurt this morning and now my tummy feels funny.
On top of having had nothing but a glass of wine for dinner, my choice of potentially-spoiled breakfast food was probably not among the wisest of the week. The date on the lid was November 13. Today is well, decidedly past November anything.
This is yet another fine example of why I should be appointed a legal guardian. I mean, sure, I can basically take care of myself, but someone has got to oversee this operation. Take tonight: I am going out. Left to my own impulse-driven devices, I’ll most likely drink too much, crawl home at dawn and spend the next day suffering for my sins. Now, if I had a guardian, I’m sure I’d be home at a decent hour with a respectable blood alcohol level.
Listen, I’m being glib. I know this. The last couple entries have been comprised of nothing more than tongue-in-cheek babble and the channeling of two-decade old pop culture. Oh, and let’s not forget whining. I’ve been down with the whining lately. I think I’m being included in some experiment of the effects of fatigue on the ability to communicate. Thus far, I’ve been reduced to likes, y’knows and guttural noises.
“Morning, Heather”
“Gmmmaaa.”
“What?”
“I said good morning.”
“No you didn’t.”
“I tried!”
“You need a nap.”
The thing is, aside from the busy factor, I’m actually quite happy. I simply wish things would slow down so I’d have a chance to saturate in it. When you’re miserable, there seems to be plenty of time to brood and obsess -- why not when things are going well? A bit unfair, if you ask me.
Fish, I found your site a few weeks ago and really love it. Life in New York, always interesting...
Posted by: Ebony at December 9, 2004 12:09 PMNothing like taking time out to saturate
Posted by: Rafael at December 9, 2004 12:21 PMMy mum, a nurse, always told me that when you eat questionable food, follow it with a glass of some kind of booze. It kills the offensive bacteria, aaaaaaand it's a perfectly acceptable reason to drink even if if it's 7am.
;-)
-LG
Posted by: Lucid Girl at December 9, 2004 01:08 PMThat reminds me of an old joke..er, um, story: This woman moved into a brownstone in NYC after she graduated from medical school. Her next-door neighbor was a sweet older lady who, in the manner of little older ladies everywhere, inquired about her love life and suggested that she needed a husband.
One particularly hectic morning, the neighbor watched as the doctor headed out the door, lab coat half on, stethoscope caught around her neck, eating a bowl of cereal as she hurried out the door. The neighbor said, "Honey, I was wrong about you - you don't need a husband, you need a wife!"
We all need someone to watch over us - to sing that song "take good care of yourself," etc. So, because you don't have anyone right there (but you have legions of readers and friends who would worry):
GO HOME EARLY AND GET SOME SLEEP!! Eat a decent meal, and reflect on the happiness of your life coinciding with the celebration of the season, whatever season you're celebtating!! :)
[Advice over - now return to regularly scheduled work day].
Posted by: lawyerchik1 at December 9, 2004 01:16 PM...not that anyone needs translation, but that last thing there should have been "celebrating."
Posted by: lawyerchik1 at December 9, 2004 01:17 PMCould your gaurdian ask, "Who's your daddy?"
takes me out of the running...
Posted by: Jonathan at December 9, 2004 01:27 PMIt's always nice to hear compliments from strangers, so I have to tell you, you are becoming one of my favorite sites to read. You're writing style is awesome and always leaves me wanting to read more. Thank you for having a blog.
Posted by: Lisa at December 9, 2004 02:05 PMI completely understand brooding and obsessing over things when you are miserable. I have been sick with a horrible cold and most unattractive hacking cough over the past week and have been in the worse mood because of it. On top of which, I use my not feeling well for an excuse for everything! I should shave my legs. "I don't feel good." I need to cook dinner. "I don't feel good." I should go to the gym. "I don't feel good." My appearance looks less that presentable today. "I don't feel good". What they hell? Someone tell me to get over it!
Complaining in London,
Amanda
Yea...I agree with Lucid Girl. You need a Gin Richey. Always works for me.
Posted by: Robotnik at December 9, 2004 02:14 PMMaybe the yogurt's wonderful good-for-you ingredients will have increased 10-fold in the past month. So, that tummy ache is really just your body's metabolism getting prepared for it's new, improved burst, and now you'll be able to eat as much Godiva ice cream and wine as you'd like and never gain weight.
Just maybe.
Posted by: florida gator girl at December 9, 2004 02:18 PMOr you could just not go out tonight...Sacrafice can work to the benefit as well as the detrament.
Posted by: Mike at December 9, 2004 02:52 PMI needed a picture of a bicycle under a Christmas tree, so I Googled the following words:
"bicycle" and "Christmas".
What came up was a link to one of your archived postings (http://thisfish.com/Archives/000792.html).
45 minutes later, I am still reading, and am completely enamored with your site. Kudos, and keep up the good work.
P.S. Articulate women are sexy as hell...
Posted by: Barry at December 9, 2004 03:10 PMMaybe being busy and occupied helps make you happy, and maybe having too much time on your hands leads you to boredom and brooding.
Posted by: Brian at December 9, 2004 03:53 PMThat is exactly how I have been feeling. Slow down is all we need to do, but we gotta go, go, go. I always hate this time of year and then hate myself for not being in the holiday spirit.
Posted by: Jazzy at December 9, 2004 05:33 PMI once opened a container of yogurt and it burbled. Bubbled, made that "splootch" noise that comes up from the depths of the swamps. I thought: "Hmmm. That seems weird" and looked for the expiration date. Apparently, said yogurt had been hiding back behind the condiments on the very top shelf of the fridge for a lonnnnng time. I think it was July and the date was something like February. It still smelled fine. (I mean, if you put enough raspberry flavoring on dirt I'm sure it would smell like raspberries.) I did not, however, eat it. I've heard nasty stories about yogurt's ability to mutate. But if you're still alive to be posting this, I'm sure it's fine.
But I second (third?) the notion that you get some nice bacteria killing liquor in there. You should drink an extra one for the cranky pregnant chicks out there who are stuck with orange sherbet instead of a martini of some sort. (As in, me.) Thank god someone is still keeping the bars in business.!!
Posted by: Kim Wells at December 9, 2004 05:36 PMDon't you realise how lucky you are - lots of people pay over the odds for live yoghurt, you got yours at no extra cost. Obviously there is a difference between "live" and "should be kept in a zoo"...
Posted by: JJ at December 9, 2004 06:42 PMHere would be an instance where the British spelling "yoghurt" would be infinitly superior.
Posted by: Monjo at December 10, 2004 09:44 AMI'm all for celebatating. In fact, I think we should all make it a regular cause!
[cracks up] I just love the sound of that word. It adds a slightly naughty edge to its originator.
Posted by: Michael R at December 10, 2004 10:37 AMHa! My yogurt beat your yogurt...my expiration date was Oct 22.
Posted by: mollysusie at December 10, 2004 10:42 AMYikes, I got a jolt when I read: "my yogurt beats your yogurt."
Posted by: Robotnik at December 10, 2004 11:12 AMyogurt is good for 10 days - 2 weeks past the date... i only know this because i looked it up recently. *yuck*
Posted by: that absent at December 10, 2004 08:23 PM