This Fish Needs A Bicycle

I can so relate! My last call with two hours and no return call from him was Christmas morning... and I was supposed to be going to meet him at his mother's house. Talk about sick to my stomach.

hyberbole? maybe. neurotic? a little. true? totally.

Of course we can all relate. Hyperbole or not (and let me say, I am a fan of hyperbole), whether we're HJNTIY adherents or not (and it should be clear which camp I'm in), we have all waited nervously for calls from people who we think might be special.

Personally, I'd give anything to have someone interesting enough to provoke my stomach to butterflies and once again grant me this long-absent agita. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but enjoy the tension.

Some of your readers can't handle hyperbole, huh? I think you should hit 'em with a little reductio ad absurdum. That outta seperate the sharks from the chum.

The phone nervousness is part and parcel of the whole new relationship excitement. I suspect that physiologicaly it's no different than what happens during knee weakening kisses. Elevated heart rate and respiration, adrenalin coursing through the veins, it's all in how we interpret those sensations. One's to die for, the other is like dying. Crazy humans, sometimes I wonder if these swollen brains of ours are worth it.

yeah -- can someone start teaching guys from the age of three that they have to call us once in a while?

the Family Guy reference more than makes up for any neurotic behavior. as usual, you rock, Fish.

Yes, my thoughts exactly. I don't think it's just cultural conditioning that makes us women want men to call us, it's something else. I'd like to think it's common courtesy. Here's my take on the phenomenon. And yes, please gag me with a spoon the next time someone dares to utter that he's just not that into you. Empowering statement my ass.

I'd looove to pretend I'm so above this. But why bother?

hilarious. i think any girl can relate to this. we are spazzy about the calls, and boys just need to pick up the phone more often. it is not hard, and it only takes a 2 minute phone call to have our heads again floating in the clouds. :)

but if we called more often, it wouldn't seem as special. and then the problem would be, 'good god, why does this man keep bothering me?' and everyone would be like, 'i knoooow! can't guys just give it a rest? you like to talk on the phone! we get it already!'

We're doomed.

Hyperbo ... Wha?

I'm glad you're neurotic. Neurotic people are so much more interesting to those of us who are just plain weird. (Shift gears) Trust me, the guy suffers from the same neuroses, he's just less willing to admit it. Thank GOD I'm married and no longer need to worry about dating neuroses. Instead, I worry about the whole new set of neuroses that comes with that territory.

Aah Fish, I love ya! I am neurotic right along with you ---extending not only to phone calls but also to e-mails. Why is it that guys also deem so many e-mails as "no response necessary". Drives me batty. Love to hear your take on that one.

see, i think ima have to agree with brando on this one...if we dont call then it's like 'omg he's not callin, what's going, what's he doing'...but then when we do call it's all 'i need some space'...see i think secretly deep down, maybe waaaaaaaaay deep down, you like having the calls spaced out

but yes, sometimes it wouldnt hurt for the girl to just call back...i cant speak for all guys but i know i love it when a chick does the work sometimes =)

I hate when it happens and it has happened to me with every single freaking call I made when I hit a digit to his (The Guy) phone number -- you know the one you think was only born to meet you to spend the rest of your lives together. That, or just come into your life for a reason and it's to teach you how a broken heart can kill you. But even with a broken heart, the butterflies still live there and your hands will always be retarded for that brief dialing. There is no such thing as exaggerating your feelings; they are feelings. That is the only way you can express them so other people can understand what's really going on inside you. Go with them and tell everyone to Fuck Off! Give this dude a chance.

fish, i think, contextually, you are (gasp!) normal!!!

Haven't you ladies seen "Swingers?" You know exactly what the rules are for calling you after obtaining your number.

Ah yes, hold onto it as though it's the Heisman? You know, let it sit there all pretty, status-like and dust collecting? lol

i know what you mean....i always almost have anxiety attacks waiting for a call...when will it end????

I have *horreur* of leaving voicemail messages. Love the scene in Swingers, but I do feel it's a rarity for guys to have their insecurities streak (aptly put, btw!) as such over a little thing like voicemail.

Oh thank God for the "Editor's Note" ability. All women are neurotic and tend to exaggerate. We are just glad that you are putting it out there so the rest of us feel normal!

He's just not that into you. Simple as that. Learn it, love it, live it.

When you get that feeling (and all women get that feeling), don't dial. Not calling feels so much better (like a small victory over insecurity) and he WILL call, eventually. Men aren't phone people. When they are phone people, we women tend not to find them as attractive.

Oh, been there, bought the t-shirt. ; ) Good news is, after 5 months, he's still calling...

Believe it or not, the same anxiety applies for guys, too. I'm such the basket case when it comes to the phone.