This Fish Needs A Bicycle

You know, I had a sixth grade math teacher named Mrs. Ashby. I doubt it's the same one though - mine ran off to Ireland a couple years later.

Haha! The 9's trick for the multiplication table is such a classic elementary school memory... it always made me wonder if some magician didn't invent mathematics.

Tell me about it. I was so stressed a week ago I got shingles. Not pleasant. Stress sucks the life right out of you if you aren't careful.

Oh. my. god. I'd never heard of the "apple" thing, how deprived WAS I as a child??

Yes, I had to keep trying it to figure it out. And yes, I *did* figure it out.

And yes... I'm sitting here trying it at my desk when my editor walks in.

'sigh

There's a trick to the 9's? Why wasn't I told? What the hell is it? And yes, I could still use the help.

The 'apple' thing reminded me of holding your tongue and saying "My father works on ships in the shipyard".

I lost track of time today.

Mental antacid! What a great phrase!

The trick to the nines is that... well... how do you explain this?

Two times nine is 18. The tens digit, 1, is 2-1. 1 and 8 add up to nine.

Three times nine is 27. The tens digit, 2, is 3-1. 2 and 7 add up to nine...

And my seventh birthday party had to be cancelled, because I got so excited the night before that I gave myself a stomach virus...

well if i twist my tongue and say "apple" then you have to stick your tongue to the tether ball pole

Super duper terrific!!! I needed a laugh and this supplied it. I totally feel for you and your stress...it's the apple thing that got me. No, I'd never heard or done that when I was younger, so, yes, I did have to sit at my desk and try it. Great laughs. When I read Howard's comment about the shipyards, I had to try that too, and I was rewarded with more laughter :) Thanks, and I hope your stress level is reduced soon. Take a nice long bath when you get home this evening :)

I hurled on my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Abbey's shoes. I thought I was the only one.

What the hell is supposed to happen when I say apple? Seriously, I've been doing it for 5 minutes and got nothing.

Try it again LiAps, *while also holding your tongue with your fingers*. Oh yeah, how about the "My daddy works in a shipyard. He sweeps ashes all day."

thanks for the giggle!

I hurled grape juice all over my kindergarten teacher...and the cream colored dress she was wearing. I think we've all done it.

Burritos indeed. Now I am inspired to wax about them on my own blog. Why does something so good have to kick such G-I ass. I've never wronged Montazuma, why to I garner his vengance

Okay, Anna, your nines trick is way too complicated! I guess I learned the nines trick for dummies from the idiot's guide or something.
This is how it works for those of us who were waiting at the corner where the short bus stopped, Howard: hold up all ten of your fingers; for each multiple of nine, you hold down that finger and the number of fingers to the left of the finger you're holding down is the digit that goes in the tens place, the number of fingers to the right represent the digit that should go in the ones place. Por exemplo, 9x2=18. If you're holding down your left ring finger- the second finger you come to when you begin counting your fingers on your left hand- like you should be, you have 1 finger to the left and 8 to the right. Eighteen is the answer. Of course, you have to memorize the factors of 11 and 12. I guess that's when you could use Anna's trick. :)

Okay. Here's my first comment ever on this blog.

I hear ya....talking about your work being a prison. There's a girl at my workplace that makes me so mad I can FEEL it. Only siblings should be able to make you that mad. She's got my number. So now, I've started to think about the whole thing as a huge game. A gigantic chess match. I mean, she's just doing things to me because she makes me mad. So, I'll choose not to be mad. She'll get madder and mess up somehow. It will be great.

I'm not offering advice...I swear. :)

I'll go back to lurking now....sorry for the long comment.

i totally just did the apple thing, lol!

Yeah, I learned the finger 9 trick too. The other 9 trick I know is a little more complicated, but I do it a lot. A number multiplied by 9 is the same as that number multiplied by 10 minus that number. 9x8 is the same as 10x8-8. Similar rule for multiplying by 12 (12xN = 10xN+2xN)

Okay, I'm stopping there. I almost got even more math geeky, but I won't.

My 9's trick: 9x9=81. I know this because one number before 9 is 8, and 8+1 = 9. 9x4=36. One number before 4 is 3, and 3+6 = 9. Works for all of 'em.

I didn't get the apple trick for a while, because I really can twist my tongue w/o help, touch my nose with it, and bend it into a 3-leaf clover while enunciating. But I get it now! :)

can someone please explain what is supposed to happen with the apple trick...? i tried. and tried. and nothing happens! ...?

Fish,

Do not, I repeat, do not succumb to the urge to trash talk about work on your blog. And here's the reason why not :

http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily/02_25_2003.html

You probably already know about dooce, but just in case you didn't...she got fired for talking (well, trashing, really) work.

M.

Hahahah. Thanks, Merlot. I do believe the term is "Dooced" and yes, I'm well aware. :)

When I was in second grade I got sick at my desk - I don't remember why. I could feel the gurgling in my tummy regions and raised my hand to ask to use the bathroom. My teacher called on me, and as I opened my mouth to ask, up came beans and franks. I got up and run out of the classroom, leaving a trail of sick all the way to the door. When I came back in to get my stuff, there was a trail back to my desk covered in that puke-sawdust the janitors keep around. And I wonder why I was unpopular.

LiAps and di, if you stick your tongue out and hold it with your fingers and try to say "apple" it'll sound like you're saying asshole

ha. i guess i was just trying too hard. thanks ak.

There must be something wrong with my tongue (though I've never gotten complaints before).

Hmmm...my multiplication tables trick was to just learn them. Why do I feel dumb for not using a trick? How American is that? I feel dumb for NOT using a short cut. :D

i hear ya -- on account of all of that, I now have a bulging disc (psychosomatic?? I am impressed with the power of my own mind) and a sinus infection. It stinks...it really does.

hope you feel better soon, lady.

So am I the only one who is wondering where the flowers came from? (Or am I just out of that loop?)

Hello hello. I found your blog through the blog awards place and if the voting wasn't closed I'd vote for this blog to win best blog overall because it's right up my alley. I really like your writing style, your observations and your wit. :) A bookmark has been placed!