This Fish Needs A Bicycle

wow -- i would've never thought to lie about something like that. tyler cope is the lie king. i also lied about catching fish with my hands, and finding jars of gel that when applied to your skin made you invisible. neat, huh? :)

apparently some guy that goes to school with me lied in second grade about some guy sexually abusing him... that guy has since been serving time in juvi.

The overactive imagination thing sometimes happens to me. Usually, it's quite helpful in making up elaborate stories for kids, joking around with friends...but, otherwise I don't use it much. I suppose I'm a bit too much of the old "honesty's the best policy"-line...

Wow- quite a story... brings back alot of childhood prank memories. Thanks.

I was given a t-shirt when I was about 7 years old for a fictional chimney sweep company. To add validity to why I had it, I told all my classmates that my uncle owned the company and that he and his children were chimney sweepers like in Mary Poppins. Everyone believed me until I had a slumber party and they asked my mom about it. I was caught in my lie.

enjoyable little story... thanks.

My lying career began and ended when i tried to convince my kindergarten teacher that I'd been run over by a truck that morning, but had had the luck to be able to lie down on the asphalt and have it woosh over me without a scratch.

Her belly laugh was not the reaction I was after, and that was the end of that. :)

I was quite a fine liar in my time as well, although certainly not in Tyler's league.

When I was younger, I concocted a wonderful and exotic life for myself and my family in Hawaii. I learned how to speak Hawaiian and told stories about giving away leis at the airport. And about my pet parrot.

I was so good at it my best friend's mother asked my mother about how it was to live in Hawaii. Oops.

I've since learned to confine my fabrications to things that cannot be confirmed independently.

I attended an event this week which required jumping into a lake. One guy came out with a fish in hand. Upon further investigation he had lost his shoe and when he picked it back up there was a rather sizeable large mouth bass in there. Not quite catching it by hand, but close enough.

I once told this boy I know that I'm from Alaska, adopted from Romania, and that my father owns a cannery and I have four each of brothers and sisters. The whole time, I expected him to say, "really?" and I would say, "no." But he bought it wholeheartedly and soon I was looking up street maps of Juneau and searching for English-Romanian dictionaries so as to further embellish.

Lying is fun. Tyler Cope is my hero.

I HAVE caught a fish with my bare hands...actually many. Sucker fish that used to swim in the creek behind my house when I was a kid. They were big and slow and in shallow water so they were easy to catch with your hands. :)

I've never caught a fish with my hands, but I've taken a baby sand shark off a hook that someone else used to catch it.

I don't recommend that, by the way.

-- "Lefty"

damn, that's like the mother of all lies

I used to lie all the time. Now I write software doc. Same thing I guess.

Hahaha...this sounds alot like a great movie along the lines of Sandlot or something!
I was a fantastic liar when I was little...my favorite lie? That my dad was a cop...riiiight. I can tell you I was NEVER messed with growing up.

My favorite confabulation lie is from years ago when I lived in what would become the East Village. I was at the phone company offices having yet another problem, which is probably what put me in the head to do this. I was reading Lord of the Rings, but I forget which volume. In one of the interminable waits -- this is before computers -- I was playing eye-footsie with a cute girl who was also waiting.

She made the first move and asked about the book, which she had heard of but not read -- this is also before Peter Jackson movies. "What's it about?" she wondered.

I'd had it with the phone company and was going stir crazy. "It's about death," I answered gravely. Her eyes got big.

We talked for about half an hour, and I managed to convince her that the dominant theme of modern culture was, in fact, death, and that Thanatos lay behind our every celebration of life and growth. She ate it up.

I probably should have married her; my bad. As it happened I never saw her again, but it was a notable skim.

Sorry, I have to leave this one annonymously because if I didn't, my husband would absolutely KILL ME. And then he'd probably kill himself too because he still gets SO embarassed by it.
When we were dating, he piqued my interest in him by telling me he worked for the CIA doing secret drug busts at our university. Said he was in charge of the recording bugs that were in our dormitory laundry rooms and theatre and had to screen the recorded conversations looking for "code words" that indicated a drug meeting being set up. He would occasionally inform me about a bust that had taken place in this dormatory or that but could never mention names because it was SO TOP SECRET.
That's the only thing he's ever lied to me about and he finally fessed up but it wasn't until after we were engaged. He still carries guilt about it and if I bring it up he gets totally mortified.
He said he was just trying to come up with a way to get me to notice him. I hate to admit it but I guess it worked.

My dad was in the airforce. As a kid I convinced a girlfriend that I was born mid air on a 747. She fully believed me until I fell about pissing myself laughing! : )

"When I was a kid, I was something of a liar"

...For all we know this could be a lie!

Meeeaaaoooowww

I like to hear lies about people who say they're in the CIA. It makes it easier for those of us who really ARE in the CIA to maintain our cover.

What about implied lies. You wouldn't have danced with him anyway.

Funny, I thought that it was bicycles you caught, not fish... :)

When I was in Grade One my bestest friends Jenny and Glenna and I decided that we wanted to be mermaids (thank you, Splash!). So we formed a "mermaid club" and we decided the best way to turn into mermaids would be to take baths everynight and pour salt into the baths. Then we'd get together at school and all talk about how, as soon as we stepped into the bath, our legs turned into GLORIOUS tails, just like Darryl Hannah's. I was so upset that I was the ONLY one not REALLY turning into a mermaid that I lied and lied and lied again, about the colour of my tail, the size of my tail, everything... It took me a while to figure out Jenny & Glenna were lying too...

AK: It was a *baby* shark. (But the part about being called "Lefty" was a lie.) My 4-year-old son, who saw it, tells his friends that when we were at the beach last year, "Daddy caught a shark with his bare hands!" And I guess I could correct him, but ....

Thanks for the post. Got me thinking about the time I was probably 4 or 5 and some guy came to our front door and asked if my parents were home. I said NO and he opened the door and handed me A FLY SWATTER! (It had his name on it.) I lied to my mom and told her that I found it on the doorstoop. But for some reason, this is one of my earliest memories. It pretty well freaked me out!

Thats crazy

Encyclopedia Brown. What a great reference. I forgot all about him.

On a band road trip a few years ago, one of the singers convinced a girl to sleep with him by telling her he was an English professor at a well respected university (he was an elevator repair tech.)...Imagine her surprise 9 months later when she went to surprise her baby's daddy at the university, who'd never heard of him...