This Fish Needs A Bicycle

OH my God first comment ...first comment! Gotta do this quickly!
Math is the devil...we'll be here cheering you on!

I'm also currently studying for the GRE's. Math is probably the most evil things in existance. The part that scares me the most is that it's all computer-based, so if the questions start getting easier you know that you've been getting a lot wrong, and vice versa. I wish they would bring back scan-tron. I'm a pro at penciling in the bubbles.

Lain

This post opens a whole host of questions, though I doubt you want to expound upon what you are looking to make your study of interest or what schools you are looking into yet.
I'm so giddy with excitement for you. I tried to do the straight shot - undergrad and then grad. I BURNED out over half way through my masters. Of course I was also going through a divorce, living away from any glitz or glamour, and going through other changes. But man, two years in the work world and I'm ready to brave grad school again. Education can be refreshing. Don't fret the GRE. I know you'll do fine. Best of luck!

I prefer the DREs.

I saw that SVU...to tell you the truth, I always knew that Martin Short could be that creepy. Ick!

Good luck on the GRE.

Good Luck- i just took it two hours ago. Lots of quantative comparasions ( eew).

The trick to the GRE is that the computerized version bases the difficulty of each question on how successfully you answered the previous question. So when you take it, be sure and miss the first 20 or so questions on purpose, so the final 40 will be easy.

Take it from me, I never scored a 100 on a test before the GRE! 100!

sorry for a silly question- but this australian is a tad confused- what is GRE?

Don't.

Do.

It.

Promise to avoid law school.

It

I'm with Alice, please enlighten us Aussies to the meaning of the GRE. It sounds kinda grinch like to me : )

Good luck! You'll do well, I just know it!

Ooh, I totally feel your pain. I took the GREs while I was still an undergraduate, but the idea of more school right then made me break out in hives. After 2 years in a career-type job, I felt almost excited about going back. Luckily, those GRE scores are valid for 5 years! So now I'm still working in the career-type job full-time, and taking one graduate class per term. I'm really enjoying doing it this way, although it will probably take me eight million years to finish.

For the Aussies:
The GREs are a standardized test that graduate schools look at when you apply. It included math, logic, and english sections when I took it -- now I think it includes math, english, and writing. It's kind of like the SATs, which we take before applying to be an undergraduate student.

My t-shirt came today! It's really fab, Fish.
GRE-wise, I was always told to remember (even by my math-major friend) that they're for liberal arts students who haven't taken any additional math since high school. So, SAT math at a faster pace, effectively. Sadly, not much more interesting. Good luck!

Thanks Angelix for enlightening us Aussies. I'll file that tidbit of info away for the next pub trivia night.

The GRE, ewh. I've thus far avoided it. I want to do grad school and will have to take the test eventually. I'm scared. I am horrible at standardized tests, horrible. I should start studying.

Good luck to you!

I got my t-shirt too. They are so awesome, can't wait to wear mine!

The GRE wasn't exactly the most fun thing I've ever done, but I'm a testament to the fact that you can do pretty badly on the math section and still get into grad school, as I'm in the midst of it right now. Good Luck to you!

Recently took the GREs and they weren't awful. ARCO also makes a really good study guide - and they also have a "30 days to the GRE" book that is a condensed version. I like their books much better for Princeton Review - so if you get frustrated with PR, give 'em a try. I know all those books (and just the fact of studying) suck. But the happy ending is that I'm loving grad school and am so happy to have gone back. Also really happy that I took time off in between college and grad school. This, coming from a girl who blew off her thesis senior year of college because, "why do I need that? it's not like I'm ever going to go to grad school!"

heh, that's how i spent months with my gre book before i got down and dirty. i am thinking of retaking it because i know i should have a better score... i'll probably spend a few months just cradling the book the same way i did before. oh, and is the princeton review better than kaplan? i never know with these things...

oh and for aussies or anyone else confused, the GRE is a standardized computerized test you take before applying to gradschool that isn't law school, med school, or business school. So if you want a PhD in History - GRE. Master's in Creative Writing? GRE. Psychology? GRE. :)

Flashcards were the key to my sucess with the GRE. I bombed the math but luckily the verbal score was high enough to put me at a respectable score. Also, those pre-tests on the CD that comes with the book were helpful.

Mmmmmm......pie.

Having taken the GRE and about to graduate in May with my Masters I totally sympathize with your test anxiety and wish you tons of luck! The math did suck but the test and the school is totally worth it. Good luck!

from a doctoral student in sociology - if you are serious about going back to school and need to do WELL on the gre...then pay out $1000 and take the princeton review class. or do the online version for about a quarter of the price. i wanted the boost for my assistantship funding - so it was $ well spent. but if you just need to get in, then do the online course. the book can help, but it all depends on the score range you need.

btw - that wasn't supposed to sound like an "ooh, i'm a know-it-all grad student," but i think it did.

sorry!

You're still talking with that douche bag?

I first discovered your website while trying to avoid studying for the GMAT a few months ago, so some good came out of it!

I have decorated my table with several of those GRE and GMAT books. Finally, they inspired mme to take a Theater Arts course. *inward frown*

They inspire you to do everything but read the books and take the test.

I would like to read Pie Are Squared. Whenever.

When I was in grad school, I was assessing a 19-yr-old autistic kid to see if he'd be able to take the GED... and accidentally gave him sample questions from the GRE instead. Realized it that night when I got home and freaked out. My professor laughed her head off when I told her.

Master's or PhD? I went from a ridiculously terrible job to the world of a Biology Ph.D. program, and even though it kicks my ass every day, it is SO MUCH BETTER than going to a job I hated. I'm semi-broke, continually academically challenged, getting callouses on my liver from drinking too much, but definitely loving it. Sounds like your procrastinatory skills are up to snuff, so you must be ready. Have fun!

There's no need to read a GRE book. When you sign up for your test, they send you free testing software that lets you practice a TON and even take two entire practice tests. When I took the real GRE, I my score what almost identical to what my practice test scores had been. Don't stress out (like I did) - you'll do just fine.

Also - not sure what you're planning on going to grad school for, but I assume it has something to do with creative writing or English or Literature or something else right-brained. When I met with English dept. Grad school directors at the schools I've applied to, they essentially told me they don't even LOOK at the math scores. So the only pi you have to worry about is the type you can eat.

You're such a goddamn wannabe.

Good luck on the decision to go back to school :) but , what are the GRE's???

If by wannabe, Rocco, you mean, wanna be like YOU, then I'd have to be approaching 30 and still getting my BACHELOR'S DEGREE.

PS Am I invited to the wedding?

I used to teach GRE prep courses.

Just learn the math. It's only hard because it's back from 10th grade and you forgot all that. Everything you need to know is summarized in the math review - do sample problems.

The vocabulary you can't really study for; but it's probably your strength anyway. Think of cognates if you can.

Realize questions are often easy but are trying to trick you. Often the reading questions evoke an emotional response and supply an answer you want to be right but is not supported by the passage.

Quickly reject answers and get down to two possibilities. Spend most of your time deciding between those two. Try to have a reason one is right and a reason the other is wrong.

Look at the questions you get wrong as you practice; decide what thinking *process* led you astray and change *your* approach to the problem. The goal is not to get the "right" answer; the goal is to get the credited answer. Often if you analyze your errors you can generalize them into a single problem and be on guard for that.

Good luck!

I too bought a study guide, funky pink and lime green notebook, new pens and pencils, for my GRE that will lead to a much better (i.e. more employable) life.

I haven't opened the book yet either...two years later. But I also told *noone*! Be my inspiration!

Great post and good luck - I agree with flash cards - helped me with the Bar.

i'm right there with you, h. my masters program didn't require the GRE, but all the PhD programs need the general and the english lit subject. because i know i get easily distracted i'm going to study a bunch of different ways, like in a study group, alone with my book, flashcards, practice tests, etc. and for 'recreation' i'm only allowed to read classic literature that might appear on the exam. sigh. so "pi are squared" were it to appear on shelves tomorrow would just have to wait. but i will wear my fish-bicycle tshirt when i'm studying!

I took my GRE last fall thinking I should do that to go to grad school...but I have no idea what to study in grad school so the score just sits there!

Standardized test taking is a skill that's not particularly related to intellect. I took my GMAT is August of 2001 and did great. I hadn't studied thinking that my first attempt would give me a baseline score and then I could go from there if I needed to study. Luckily for me, it wasn't necessary.

Why don't you just take the GRE and if you do poorly, THEN kill yourself studying. You may not need to at all.

Man, did Martin Short totally kick ass or what? That was a great show. The only problem is that it was a bit obvious from the start that he was the killer. I mean how can you have Martin Short in a murder mystery and NOT make him the killer? I must say.

GRE=Graduate Record Exam.

I took it years ago before it was computerized. I bombed the math section (50th percentile—worst score I’ve ever had on a standardized test) and aced verbal and logic (or whatever the heck it was called). I then proceeded to apply to several top ten Ph.D. Sociology programs. God, I was dumb. But, also lucky because I got into two schools and many, many years later I actually have a Ph.D. from a top five program. Not that it matters because I didn’t go into academia.

The way you study has more to do with you than anything else. All the ways that everyone has mentioned will work—but do you have the self-discipline to tackle the book yourself? If not, take a class. But, if you are going into a writing/English type program, they really don’t care at all about the quantitative stuff. In that case, don’t worry, you don’t need to study. If you are doing something different, well, it may be time to start cracking those books. Good luck!

PS I’m a new reader and I’m really enjoying your blog. I’ve been working my way through the archives. It's fun!

So, NYU or Columbia?

Good luck, and good for you.

I am allergic to standardized tests.

I managed to get into my school of choice as an undergrad without taking SATs, because I was just that devoted to my opinions. However, the grad programs weren't having it and I had to buck up and take the GRE. I did as Daniella above suggested and went in cold, 5 years out of college. I did pretty damn okay, especially in the verbal section, which was the only portion most of my programs were interested in anyway. Journalists don't need to be real tight with Pythagoras, apparently.

But then I got paranoid, worried that "pretty damn okay" wasn't good enough. So I signed up for the Kaplan on-line (not having the grand for the classroom course) and studied may arse off for weeks. And do you know what?

My score went DOWN.

But I still got into my program of choice (Northwestern). So overall, I think the whole thing is a bunch of....as my Grandma would say.... Hog-Warsh.

I took the GRE over 10 years ago and bought a basic math review book that got me through (the only thing I forgot was slope -- RISE OVER RUN!!!! Grrr!). But got a very high score. Since I don't want to bust your rule of no advice, I won't give you the information unless you asked for it. But my little sis, who took the GRE two years ago, scored in the 99th percentile and got into Yale, used it. (And she nearly failed high school math -- no joke!!! -- 'course it would have helped if she had gone to class!)

As far as the verbal, you have a tremendous grasp of the English language so I'm sure you'll do better than most!

Years ago (it could be different now), we had to take seven sections, 2 each of verbal, math, and analytical (logic). Then we got a random selection of one of those three for the seventh section. The guy next to me got a third logic section and, I kid you not, he wept.

In my case, I nailed the analytical and the math parts--lot of help that was in applying to PhD programs in literature.

Good on you!! I have don't discount the idea of studying again one day... just not whilst flying. But I would love to!

My Mum blitzed her studies years after the fact too. Made me so proud!

For MATH, there is only correct or wrong answer, nothing in between. Good luck!

I'm one of those test-taking type people. I suck in the real world but I'd be excited to take the GRE again, just because I'd like to try it and I think I'd do pretty good with just my God-given talents. If only God had given me some self-discipline, too.