I’m crabby today. Really fucking cantankerous, actually. And as soon as I decide whether to sit and have a good cry about it or to unleash a fierce and fiery ball of rage, I’m sure the day will only improve. I’m a girl that needs direction.
Shortly before 1 AM this morning, I stumbled in from work. My lower back was aching from standing for hours in bad shoes and my brain was aching from the knowledge that, as a salaried employee, eight hours of overtime mean jack shit. I fed the cat. Ate a slice of cold pizza. Showered. And unhappily, I set the alarm.
Five hours later, the crank began.
Why I waited to do my Got All My Shit? checklist until I was already out on the street is beyond me. But by the time I was back through the front gate, headed for the subway, this time with my cell phone, I had a bone to pick with the Universe. I was tired. Sore. And in possession of one pair of non-functioning iPod earbuds.
I know, I know. The world’s smallest violin. Screeching in your ear.
But then things really got went south: the train stopped in the tunnel and the air shut off. Sweet Baby J. It wasn’t a matter of inconvenience. It was a matter of the most intensely irrational fear closing in around me, as tends to happen in tight, dark spaces where my mind imagines I’ve just met my doom. I’m slightly claustrophobic. Okay, maybe a little more than slightly.
Tangent time! Initiate memory sequence.
In college, a few of my buddies decided to cure me of my fear of small spaces. They packed me into a truck, drove me out to the middle of nowhere, fitted me with a headlamp and took me spelunking. To this day I am ridiculously proud of the fact that I did not freak the fuck out during our initial Commando Crawl through the tomb’s very narrow entrance. I was the model of composure while inside Nutty Putty Caves, but I came out shaky and pale, and spent the next two days sleeping it off. Needless to say, I was not cured.
End memory sequence.
So, now I’m sitting here at my desk, hurtling into another long day, exhausted and somewhat squished of spirit. I need a fucking hug, damn it. And I’m not beyond engaging in inappropriate office touching to get it.
C’mere you.
>>>>>>>>
Posted by: RazDreams at April 14, 2005 10:09 AMGIGANTIC HUG!!!
Posted by: RazDreams at April 14, 2005 10:10 AMYeah, some days suck; makes you appreciate the good ones even more.
Posted by: Jerry at April 14, 2005 10:18 AMHang in there!
[Hug]
I know exactly what you mean about the whole needing a hug thing. For example, let's say that...hypothetically, of course...someone had a reciprocate link list on a blog somewhere *hint, hint* and that someone else had them on there little blogroll somewhere else, but still weren't getting a reciprocal link back *hint, hint*, then this person would probably need a hug too.
Posted by: TV at April 14, 2005 10:37 AMhmmmm, i just blogged about needing a hug yesterday. here's to hoping your day gets a lot better!
((((hug))))
Posted by: red at April 14, 2005 10:42 AMjoin the crank club.... hopefully it won't last long.... hugs :)
Posted by: megan at April 14, 2005 11:24 AMDid someone say Inappropriate Office Behavior? I'm there.
Posted by: whirlygurly at April 14, 2005 11:51 AMJust make sure you pick someone on your workplace that doesn't have "sexual harrassment" written all over, or a sticker that says: "hug me I'll sue you for 10 bucks" on his forehead...
I forget my cell phone all the time. It always bodes something, though I'm never sure what.
Posted by: Linus at April 14, 2005 01:39 PMAll I can say is, good thing there was no train juice today or you might have had a humdinger of a meltdown :)
Posted by: MsOktober at April 14, 2005 02:10 PMI share your fear of small spaces and spelunking is out of the question...I don't need to be cured that badly.
Posted by: Robin at April 14, 2005 03:49 PMThose 'trial by fire' cures never seem to work. I know a few hours on the Snake Bus didn't exactally cure my phobia. Actually, come to think of it, I now have a fear of buses, as well as snakes.
Bisous. (And hugs, too.) Nothing like being at the office after midnight. I've done it as an effing intern. Tomorrow is Friday--a bounty of weekend funness awaits!
Posted by: Coquette at April 14, 2005 05:26 PMI have been feeling this way for the past friggin week. I completely relate.
a non-functioning pair of I-Pod earplugs could be a fate worse than death, and I'm being completely serious here. I would cry if that happened to me.
Posted by: liz at April 14, 2005 08:51 PM:: hugs ::
If it makes you feel any better, your not alone in ipod earbud deaths. Mr. Lefty decided to fall apart in my hands this morning, I really thought I was gonna cry.
:: another hugs ::
Posted by: justin at April 15, 2005 12:53 AMForget the iPod, justin: you call yours "Mr. Lefty"?
Posted by: Gopi at April 15, 2005 02:08 AMAfter a week in Melbourne, I thought it would be nice to get back to my cliff top cave. But sometimes I need that HUG too. I know that feeling of being stuck in an enclosed space. Three and an half hours was my record on the London Central Line in 1998.
Posted by: Andrew at April 15, 2005 05:26 AMMr. Lefty as in the left earbud. : ) It's called darwin on my computer, but other than that I don't really refer to it by name, that much. : )
Posted by: justin at April 15, 2005 09:41 AMWarm and fuzzy thoughts to you...and hugs. It WILL get better.
Posted by: sue at April 15, 2005 11:57 AM(((hugs))) my darling. Hang in there, the weekend's almost here.
Posted by: Megan at April 15, 2005 12:01 PMjoin the club.
i think it's in the air.
i hope you are feeling better and less angry than i!
Posted by: S at April 15, 2005 12:58 PMFish,
In place of a hug I'd like to offer you my thanks instead. After all a hug between strangers is just plain awkward. But thank you for sharing this small window into your life with me. For some strange reason your posts bring a moment of peace to my day. Perhaps its just the illusion of connecting to someone that gives the feeling of having just spent the last 15 minutes with good friend.
Thank you
LOL! Even in a bad mood you're great, dear girl!
Posted by: Adventuregirl at April 16, 2005 03:21 AM