June 28, 2005

molly ringwald's cooties

“You are not a golden god!”

I cringe watching Ben hover on the roof above us. He puts his hands to his hips and my brain starts chanting, please come down, please come down. You are not a golden god! Had I put acid in the guacamole? I think not. I shoot a quick glance at his mother; she can’t even watch him up there. This I understand. Beer plus climbing on roofs has never equaled anything good. And I’m thoroughly relieved when finally, lights arranged, he comes back down. I won’t have to hyper-worry again until Langhorne perches on the ledge a few hours later during Truth or Dare. I go back to my guacamole and conversation.

That’s when the patio begins to swim in front of me.

First Tanya’s red beads blur and I feel my stomach drop. Sweat runs down my cleavage and my mouth goes dry. I excuse myself. Trip to the drug store, ginger ale, cold compresses. The rest of the evening is sort of a blur of non-party activity on my part. Somewhere between woosy trips to the air conditioned haven of Ben’s bedroom, Goldner makes his diagnosis.

I have caught Molly Ringwald’s cooties.

This makes perfect sense. Earlier in the evening while dining at Blue Smoke, we made restaurant friends with a wee one. She toddled around the tables and eventually stopped to give G an extra gooey high five. I do believe she actually licked her hand first. Cute little imp. Goldner, who is genuinely smitten with anything small and/or furry, was completely oblivious as to who exactly the little imp was. Until her red-headed mother came to collect her. Small talk was made and the little one fitted with a white bonnet and toddled out of the restaurant.

Goldner held up his hand. “I have Molly Ringwald cooties!”

That, he did. And apparently, he’s passed them on. By 1AM, Tanya and I are big-spoon little-spooned on Ben’s bed. She, hammered and me, cootied. We make quite the pair. By the time the fellas wake us up sometime around 3, I’m feeling like I could really give that Parker Posey a run for her money.

I am such a party girl.

Speaking of party, join me tonight at Pianos. 8-10 pm. I will be awake. There will be music. You will love it.

Posted by This Fish at June 28, 2005 12:32 PM

wooooo - you wiiilllddd woman! :)

Posted by: red at June 28, 2005 12:37 PM

Never has there been such a finely regaled, cootied woman. You do passed out like P-diddy does the Soul Train awards.

Posted by: Mike at June 28, 2005 12:41 PM

Love the wine glass on the windowsill!

Posted by: PLD at June 28, 2005 12:53 PM

Do you always look so cute when you sleep?

Posted by: Torrie at June 28, 2005 01:45 PM

It's because I genuinely AM small and/or furry!

Posted by: G at June 28, 2005 01:55 PM

I dated someone who'd slept with Molly Ringwald once. I mean, he and I only dated for a short while. But, he lived with her, so I guess they slept together many times.

Anyway, that means I have Molly Ringwald cooties too. Just a different sort.

The end result of mine was also nausea, but that's mostly because he was such an ass. So, all in all, I'd say yours are better.

Hope you're feeling well today.

Posted by: Kathryn at June 28, 2005 02:58 PM

Awwwwwwwwww...what a cute picture! :)

Posted by: robin alexa at June 28, 2005 05:40 PM

Children are the worst sort of fomites. Cute, yet pathogenic to a fault. But beautifully told.

Posted by: Ari at June 28, 2005 06:11 PM

It never ceases to amaze me how you can spin such great stories out of misfortune. Just watch, all the cool kids'll be clamouring for Molly Ringwald cuties real soon.

Posted by: Dani at June 28, 2005 09:34 PM

which one of you is plugged into the wall?...it is hard to tell.

Posted by: kassi at June 28, 2005 09:54 PM

nevermind, there are two plugs...all is well.

Posted by: kassi at June 28, 2005 09:54 PM


Posted by: steenah at June 28, 2005 11:07 PM

I'm feeling rather...exposed.

Posted by: tanya at June 29, 2005 11:13 AM

To cooties? Or the Internet?

Posted by: Fish at June 29, 2005 11:26 AM

Aren't they one in the same, really?

Posted by: tanya at June 29, 2005 04:12 PM

wait, where did the handsome foreigner on the bed disappear to?

Posted by: wes at June 29, 2005 04:34 PM


Hey man. You gotta hang around til the wee hours of the morning to make the photos!

Posted by: Fish at June 29, 2005 04:42 PM

i live in broookkklyn, do you know how far that is from that lovepad of his? ;)

Posted by: wes at June 29, 2005 05:45 PM

ummm, am i first to mention the tattoo?! (i must be a newbie, even after 10 months!) that looks like a tat of a fishie too! really really kewl.

Posted by: RazDreams at June 30, 2005 12:20 PM

That's because that's... Tanya. I'm too chicken for tattoos.

Posted by: Fish at June 30, 2005 12:35 PM

Not for long, not for long...

Posted by: tanya at June 30, 2005 02:09 PM

um, yeah. i knew that. uh huh. :( ooops!

Posted by: RazDreams at July 1, 2005 12:31 AM