Once, I kissed a man and he sighed. He sighed like someone who had been thirsty for a very long time and I’d just given him water from my canteen. Siiiiiiigh. I decided right then I’d kiss him a hundred times just to hear that sound.
Once, I kissed a man and learned to hate the sound of my refrigerator. I cried all the way back to Connecticut, mourning, because I knew that kiss was burned into me. Tattooed. Cigarette on flesh. And I knew that we were destined to fail. I kissed him a hundred times after.
Then we failed.
Once, I kissed a stranger. Sangria and beer laced with Jack Daniels. Hostel common room. Belt buckles and a foreign name like I was praying.
Once, I kissed him in the third row of a movie theater, and then decided I would rather watch the movie. I kissed her passing Jell-o shots. I kissed him and didn’t feel a thing except saliva and dry skin and the need to go home right now. I kissed him while the credits to Clueless rolled. I felt adored.
I wasn’t.
Once, I kissed – I was kissed – in front of a map of the world. Here, I said, is where I lived. Here, he said, is where I’m from. Spain. Lebanon. I had to sit down on the bed, dizzy and overwhelmed. He had the most gorgeous hands I’ve ever seen. We failed, too.
Thank God.
This was a great post. Caught me at a moment when I was just thinking of a particularly memorable kiss...
I flew across the country to visit, but we were uncertain. Stepped off the plane and nervously hugged him hello. We went to dinner and then back to his apartment and stood chatting for what felt like forever. Then he paused. Without a word, he turned to face me and stepped closer, put his hands over my head and on my shoulders, held me firmly, pulled me close, and I just sank completely into him. Once, I was kissed. Once, I was lost.
I may be getting lost again at the moment... I'm hoping I am, anyway.
Posted by: jw at June 29, 2005 12:18 AMmmmm... standing in my kitchen. taste of beer and vodka. so sweet, so strong. his intoxicating lips. mmmm.
thanks for the reminder!
Posted by: rg at June 29, 2005 12:43 AMOne time I sat in my room two inches from a girl i was madly in love with, talking for over an hour and I didn't kiss her. Last year she interviewed Anita Rau Badami, and I saw a photo of her for the first time in 10 years. It would have been a nice kiss.
Posted by: brando at June 29, 2005 12:48 AMAwesome post.
Once my roommate told me that he'd been wanting to kiss me just to see what it would be like. I let him... it was the BEST kiss I've ever had. A couple weeks later he told me he wished he'd never kissed me because he couldn't stop thinking about it. I let him do it again... it was even better than the first. I want to kiss him again, but he's gone for the summer... and by the time he comes back it will probably be too late.
Posted by: Amber at June 29, 2005 01:32 AMLOVE your post, fish, and love amber's followup comment (haunting, almost). just don't understand the line "Belt buckles and a foreign name like I was praying." i have ideas of what it means, but i'm sure i'm wrong. (maybe it's too early in the morning.)
Posted by: RazDreams at June 29, 2005 06:44 AMAs always Heather...greatly evocative...what a treat to wake up and see a new post from the Fish....
Rob :)
Posted by: Rob at June 29, 2005 06:53 AMBrilliant.
Posted by: ashbloem at June 29, 2005 07:16 AMoooh, lovely lovely. The first time i kissed my man I almost died. I knew then I could never kiss anyone else ever as it just couldn't compare..
Posted by: trine at June 29, 2005 08:01 AMWow. Simply brilliant, Fish. *shiver*
Posted by: cherise at June 29, 2005 08:23 AMBEAUTIFUL!!!
Posted by: Ashleigh at June 29, 2005 09:06 AMlovely post - now i'll be remembering my most and least favorite kisses all morning. :)
Posted by: red at June 29, 2005 10:22 AMthat was nice... reminded me of my kiss progression. Dream kisses, Dr Pepper kisses, California Cooler kisses, too-much-jack-daniels kisses, wow-that-is-what-it-is-supposed-to-feel like kisses, tender kisses, forbidden kisses, comfort kisses... and now 2 year old butterfly kisses. sigh.
Posted by: pattygal at June 29, 2005 11:03 AMWow. Breathtaking. Very rarely do posts make me sit back, think, and sigh out loud. But this one sure did it for me. *Sigh*
Posted by: Carrie at June 29, 2005 12:57 PMyou are an AMAZING writer
Posted by: Alisa at June 29, 2005 12:58 PMWow, this is what I love about a woman I never met. Fantastic Fish. Reminded me of that title to what? A movie perhaps? You know those few and far between kisses that make you feel like you've never been kissed before.
Posted by: jimmy corrigan at June 29, 2005 01:15 PMNo words. I have butterflies.
Posted by: Jasika at June 29, 2005 02:15 PMLovely.
Posted by: V at June 29, 2005 02:54 PMBeautiful. Simple. Complicated. Real. I love the ending. It's perfect.
Posted by: Kara Melissa at June 29, 2005 04:53 PMNice. reminiscent. *sigh* What a great thing to remember.
Posted by: mama_to_colin at June 29, 2005 05:17 PMBeautiful.
Posted by: RavingLoon at June 29, 2005 05:25 PMWe shared a gin and tonic while sitting on her couch in a room filled with sunset. She'd take a sip, then, we'd kiss. We giggled and commented about how this was the best damn gin and tonic either of us had ever had. Gin and tonic kisses. Hmmm. . .
Posted by: Popeye at June 29, 2005 06:56 PMBeautiful post - poetic even.
Posted by: Keely at June 29, 2005 08:59 PMAbsolutely beautiful.
Posted by: Casey at June 29, 2005 09:51 PMAmazing. Thanks for writing this.
Posted by: a.d. at June 29, 2005 11:10 PMFish, you speak words of my soul.
Once I was kissed in a faraway place, and in that moment, I came home.
Posted by: Faye at June 29, 2005 11:38 PMThis was inspiring.
Posted by: Annie at June 30, 2005 07:02 AMI also thought it was like poetry. It's amazing how evocative omission is (or can be).
Posted by: Michael R at June 30, 2005 11:16 AMIt's also interesting that people have quite different reactions to the omissions. One of my friends "didn't get" the post. And what that meant was, he didn't like it without knowing who. Interesting.
Posted by: Fish at June 30, 2005 11:22 AMthe sigh kiss
yeah :)
i married the one who did that.
i loved this post. thanks for sharin it.
Posted by: maddy at July 1, 2005 11:02 AM