“I hope you’re not too hungover to hang out tonight. I wore a nice shirt.”
There are only two squares on this month’s calendar marked with the word “Tanya,” so ridiculously moody or not, I wasn’t about to cancel. I promised I was not crapping out and that my ‘tude and I would meet her at the W Hotel at six-thirty.
We ended up sipping mojitos down the street at Sushi Samba, chop-sticking chocolate fondue and talking about things like families, infidelity and… lip gloss -- the latter because she had brought me some. God bless girlfriends and thoughtful gestures.
“I brought you something!” and handed over two glittery tubes.
“Ooh! It’s Jessica Simpson lip gloss! I have the chocolate flavored body glitter.”
Shit. Did I just admit that?
Now, sometimes, Tanya intimidates me a little bit. She’s smart and fierce and a very intense listener and there is just no bullshitting her. So while I wanted to backtrack (No, no. I was just kidding. I don’t actually own Jessica Simpson beauty products), I knew I had to own it.
“It smells like cookies,” I offered.
Tanya owned up to Bonnie Bell Dr. Pepper lip gloss and we were square.
I could have gotten trashed on mojitos. But I was feeling so nearly perfect that I was glad when she suggested we take a walk. So, after making one more trip to the bathroom so she could make eyes at Jimmy Fallon, we headed out to the street for some window shopping.
“Can we cross?” She gestured to her right, where the red DON’T WALK hand had already started blinking. We were standing on a double-laned avenue separated by one of those cement islands. I hesitated. “I like being stuck in the middle.”
I smiled. I love quirky people. I love people who will say things like, “I like being stuck in the middle” because I know exactly what that means.
Incidentally, it was while we were 'stuck in the middle' that I discovered that the gifted gloss was of the plumping variety. Lip venom, I think they call it. The result is a feeling akin to what I imagine it would feel like to make out with a bee.
When I went home an hour or so later, my lips still stung and tasted of banana split, and I was feeling a little bit lighter. As if therapeutic dinner and good talks about things that matter (and a few things that don't) didn’t convince me that Tanya is fairly fantastic, her letter to Jimmy Fallon this morning sealed the deal.
Because Jimmy Fallon, if you were a dick to her I would totally beat your ass.
Posted by This Fish at August 18, 2005 11:45 AMclowns to the left of me, jokers to the right
here I am, stuck in the middle with you...
i love good girlfriends and lip venom lip gloss. :)
also, i *heart* jimmy fallon. i would be so incredibly excited (and a tad bit jealous) if you ever dated him. :)
Posted by: red at August 18, 2005 12:18 PMJimmy Fallon came to my college back in the day, right before he became really famous on SNL.
My friend has had an insatiable crush on him ever since. He's fantastic.
Posted by: kay-see at August 18, 2005 12:41 PMlove how a simple evening spent talking with a good friend can make the things that were bothering us before seem less important. glad that your evening cheered you up.
Posted by: rg at August 18, 2005 12:47 PMI am so ridiculously in love with Jimmy Fallon.
Posted by: Mindy at August 18, 2005 12:56 PMI am so ridiculously in love with Jimmy Fallon.
Posted by: Mindy at August 18, 2005 12:56 PMi hate to admit it, but i also have a love for dr. pepper lip balm and i have the entire jessica simpson lip gloss collection! they are truly amazing and taste great!
Posted by: kat at August 18, 2005 02:32 PMConcidentally, I stumbled across "Stuck in the Middle With You" earlier this morning in a completely different context. (Yes, SFW, and it helps to have seen "Reservoir Dogs.")
Posted by: Lex at August 18, 2005 02:52 PMI must say your post was most excellent (saw Bill and Ted this weekend). It reminded me of a good friend who is a bit intimidating, a bullshit-seer-through type. He's also insane and is always able to just make me forget what is bothering me whenever he is around.
Of course what made this post even better was the link. This Tanya person, she definitely rocks.
Posted by: jimmy corrigan at August 18, 2005 03:32 PMMental Note: Never give a woman you like "Bee Venom" unless of course she LIKES it.
When I worked at Target, I saw Reese Cup flavored ones...and those chocolate marshmallow candy bar flavored ones, as well as an array of flavors dedicated to Mars, Hershey, and Willy Wonka. As I like chocolate, I'd be more tempted to EAT flavored lip stuff as opposed to WEARING it. Guess that's why they make PLAIN for men, lol. (But I buy the cherry. If I have to medicate my chapped lips I want to taste something other than WAX).
Posted by: Brian Fletcher at August 18, 2005 04:49 PMBEWARE the Lip Venom. It contains cinnamon, which some people are allergic to. And if some people are allergic to it, and you put your Lip Venom covered lips around certain parts of their anatomy ... well ...
You have one helluva sort of the ER doctor.
Posted by: Shannon at August 18, 2005 09:29 PMI was in a bar once and thought Jimmy Fallon was checking me out. turns out the Yankees game was on the TV over my head. Damn Black Crow and the tricky lighting.
Posted by: PLD at August 18, 2005 09:56 PMI am sorry, did you say chocolate flavoured body glitter? ;-)
Posted by: SillyCrazyMe at August 19, 2005 04:06 AMI love Tanya, and I haven't even met her. She's a keeper. But she should have slipped Jimmy your number at Samba.
How come you know so much about the Jessica Simpson body stuff if you don't actually own any? I couldn't tell you one thing in her line; I only know that they waste entirely too much space on it at Sephora.
Posted by: Megan at August 19, 2005 10:11 AMi love jimmy fallon! he is great, i think i agree with some of the other posts that i would have had to slip him my number ;)
love reading your post, you are a fabulous writer