After spending the last two days sequestered in a conference room in San Antonio, I sat down at my own desk this morning, took one look around at the blizzard of paper, coffee cups and post-it notes and mumbled something meaningful about really getting my shit together. But here it is, four hours later, my shit is still wholly un-together. And I’m caring less and less. You know, when I was a kid, the idea of business trips sounded so glamorous and grown up, but like boyfriends, boobs and financial independence, the reality of it is not a damn thing like your preteen brain imagined. But you know what is as good as your preteen brain imagined? Self medicating with booze. Totally not kidding.
I can be one disgruntled wicked witch of the west (or bicked bitch, according to my sister), but that’s nothing that half a glass of wine won’t undo. I’m easy. See also: cheap date.
To give this particular business trip a bit of sheen, four of us went out Tuesday night for some “team building” at a pricey steakhouse. And after a cocktail or two (because, as we all know, “team building” translates to “resent each other and your jobs less by drinking heavily,” conversation left the topic of work entirely and headed into much, much more interesting realms. Someone confessed to plastic surgery. And I, being medicated enough to lose most of my good breeding, wanted to know every single detail.
Lipsocution and lobster tail. Just add wine.
I’ve always been of the opinion that if you get plastic surgery for someone else (or general attention whore reasons), you’re kind of a sick puppy. But if it’s something that will change how you feel about you and make your world a better place, meh, okay. It’s your money. I’d rather buy a house.
What about you? Fake ta-tas and botoxed brows seem so common place now. But do you think it’s sad or not such big deal?
Eh, I live in LA. This means two things:
1. I could buy like 500,000 boobs with the money I’d spend on a house.
2. I no longer judge people on whether they have fake boobs. I judge them on HOW fake they look.
I’m generally with you. If it’s for you and it makes you happy, go for it. But ferpetessake, get a good surgeon. I don’t want to stare at your cantaloupes.
I’ve been debating the fate of my quite prominent nose all my life. I’m now 47 and figure I’ll wait till it’s time for my 1st facelift & get the nose done at the same time. Or maybe not. The boobies are good, thanks. & I like my furrowed brow. It makes me look like I haz teh smartz.
I have a friend whose tits, previously small, were ravaged by two kids. Take small boobs, make them huge, then shrink them again. What’s left is not. Pretty. So much so that she felt self-conscious being naked in front of her husband.
So she got boobs to fill that extra skin back out, and they got their sex life back.
Well worth it, I think.
I think it’s sad when one undergoes such surgeries that are NOT “medically necessary” with the intention of improving one’s overall health. From what I’ve seen, it can be addictive to some. I know one too many whose faces, lips and eyes are all botched up. Seems like the more they try to “fix” their appearance, the worse it can actually get.
Personally, in July 1998, I underwent a breast reduction surgery where three pounds of flesh was removed from my chest. (Next time you’re in the market, pick up a package of 3 pounds of ground beef. That’ll give ya an idea of what I had been carrying around for a very long time.) THE SURGERY WAS THE GREATEST THING I’VE DONE FOR MYSELF (so far)
! No more waking up and not being able to feel my arms from my shoulders to my hands, I sleep better, breathe better, the neck and back pains are much easier to deal with, no more red marks on my shoulders from my bra straps, as well as some other “ickiness” that I won’t expand on. The bonus…I did look better overall but that was not my intitial intention.
I had to fight though for the insurance to cover the cost. They claimed it was “cosmetic” however, I had three of my doctor’s and two of the insurance carrier doctors examine me and all agreed that my situation was of “medical necessity”. Yes, I had to fight the carrier. Yes, I had to go before a board and play the game by their silly rules. I did it all and I won.
If needed, I’d do it all again.
I also have other physical issues due to some health problems over the last few years and anyone who were to see me would agree that I could use some lift, tuck and pull here and there. I have some scarring and severe stretch marks caused by my medications. While it’s improved, it’s not like it use to be. It’d be nice to be treated but, I don’t forsee it happening because for me, unless my life and/or overall well-being is being affected or threatened, then surgery (for me) is not necessary.
I support anyone who’s attempting to help themselves through surgical procedures but, if you’re pickin’ and pullin’ due to your ego, I admit I feel sad for them.
PS: Anyone out there considering a breast reduction… HAVE NO FEAR! Keep postive and see it through! It’s amazingly life altering in a most positive way.
I would like to say that fake boobs & such are just sad, but I’m planning on a boob job (lift & reduction) after my baby is born. (Or, since we’re already thinking of seconds, after the second one is born.) They’ve been the bane of my existence for my entire adult life. I want to be able to wear backless dresses and empire waistlines. I want to wear those cute little bras that Anthropologie sells that only come in sizes S M L and no underwire. I want bikini tops to fit. I want to not have a massive (literal) pain in my neck from supporting my D-cup (now DD-cup and growing, thanks to pregnancy) boobs in a halter top bathing suit. (If you think that doesn’t sound so big, I’m a small girl.) And, vainly, I don’t want them down to fall down to my waistline in a few years after a couple of kids. I’m way too young for that. They hurt. They get on my nerves. They got me a lot of attention that I didn’t want as a teenager and they make bra shopping a miserable experience. I’ve long since referred to them as the bane of my existence.
So, knowing how much I dream of the day when I can finally “get them done,” and how much it means to me for physical & “vanity” reasons… I guess I shouldn’t judge the other types of plastic surgery. (Even though I do judge.) I don’t know what it’s like to have really small boobs and to spend my days fantasizing about larger ones. I guess… I guess it’s no less important in that way than it is in the way that I dream of mine needing less support. Or if someone gets lipo – maybe they spend far too many hours of the day hating parts of their body and feeling miserable for it.
Granted, if you were fine with how you looked until someone came along and hinted that they might find you more attractive or love you more if you just nipped a little here and there… well, that’s just stupid, like you said. And that’s a bigger issue.
Sad. Definitely sad.
I suppose if I could truly eliminate my self-esteem issues with a few thousands dollars (although I have no qualms about my average-sized chest, thank you), I would considerate it. But I think plastic surgery accomplishes that very rarely and instead tends to make you see more flaws and want more surgery.
I think I also could never stand to be/have people know I was that concerned with appearance. Something very embarrassing and sad about it (to me). I’m not saying I’m over my appearance hang-ups…I’m definitely not…but to have visual proof for the world to see that I need to spend thousands of dollars to feel good about myself? Ergh. Not something I’d want to share with the world.
One of my closest friends in high school was given a nose job for her birthday. I’m not even kidding. Her parents asked her what she wanted, she told them, and they gave it to her. Admittedly, she had been made fun of by some of our peers and I know it was a huge issue for her. She expected the new nose to give her a new life. And of course it didn’t. She was still the same insecure person inside and I think the complete lack of impact the surgery had contributed to her depression. It took quite a few years of therapy before she really came into her own.
I don’t judge what anyone chooses to do with their own body. It’s not my right. But my thoughts are, unless it’s medically necessary, don’t do it.
I… wish that it were different, but if I had the means, I would seriously consider getting minor cosmetic procedures done, on physical attributes that have given me long term grief. It would be a very difficult decision for me, because I do think that if something isn’t medically necessary you shouldn’t do it. Or rather, *I* shouldn’t do it. But if I could take care of something that has bugged me that much for that long? I might.
In other people? I judge, even though I tell myself not to. I guess it comes down to whether whatever procedure was done tastefully, and in the spirit of what I said above. I feel sad for the people who get lots of work done, or for those who come out the other side looking… too plastic. But it’s all relative.
I… wish that it were different, but if I had the means, I would seriously consider getting minor cosmetic procedures done, on physical attributes that have given me long term grief. It would be a very difficult decision for me, because I do think that if something isn’t medically necessary you shouldn’t do it. Or rather, *I* shouldn’t do it. But if I could take care of something that has bugged me that much for that long? I might.
In other people? I judge, even though I tell myself not to. I guess it comes down to whether whatever procedure was done tastefully, and in the spirit of what I said above. I feel sad for the people who get lots of work done, or for those who come out the other side looking… too plastic. But it’s all relative.
I had a boob job done about 8 years ago, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. My itty bitty titties caused me lots of grief and I was very self conscious of them. I didn’t go huge, I went big enough to fit my frame, and match up with these giganda hips god was nice enough to give me. I to wanted to fit into cute tops and actually have some cleavage. If you want to get plastic surgery done, I’m all for it, as long as its within reason. Now if you start looking like Joan Rivers..then I will step in
I definitely feel that plastic surgery is a personal decision. I’ve been tossing around a little less girl pooch and a little more girls for years now. All of the women in my family were blessed a little too much by the boob fairy, but I got completely skipped. Now as I’m nearing 30 (chills) I would like, for once, to go to the clothing store and pull a dress off the rack and have it fit BOTH my hips and my chest, to buy a bikini and look good in the top, to actually have some, ANY, cleavage. The problem is (maybe it’s just my problem) that once you tell someone that you’re getting breast implants they look at your like you’re a) crazy b) going to become a porn star c) going to end up like Tara Reid or Dolly Parton.
I intend on getting the brava reshaper system for 2500 dollars, granted it only increases breast size between 1 to 1 1/2 cup sizes (which is all I want or need), plus it will take 12 weeks of wearing it ten hours a day, but I am willing to undergo the discomfort. I don’t know if it counts since its not surgical and it grows real tissue permanantly, but I will be spending my money on my appearance. If I had known about it four years ago, I would have done it then. I quite agree than only someone with extremely low self esteem would allow another person’s opinion of them make them want surgery, but then again the same can be said for someone who would decide against it for the same reasons.
I feel a nip/tuck here or there is fine. When it becomes excessive (i.e. Joan Rivers) then the plastic surgeons need to put the knife down and refer their patients to a psychologist.
i generally see non-medical surgery as sad, as well. i suppose if someone was obsessing and absolutely miserable, it might be exactly what they need to do. though, i think it is much healthier to accept yourself as is.
for myself, i had horrible self-esteem during my teens and early 20s (i’m tiny all over and a late-bloomer). somehow, when i hit 30, i finally felt comfortable in my own skin, and i think i am much healthier both mentally & physically than if i had “fixed” anything earlier. and i denfinitely have the self-confidence now to ignore any negative opinions.
First, love the title. Made me think of a card on the Stanford-Binet Intelligence test, where a kid is walking a fish. A kid looking at the card has to tell what’s wrong with the picture. LOL
Altering one’s body surgically is a personal decision. Like with most things, too much of a good thing can go wrong and a person who has too many surgical cosmetic procedures can end up looking like a stature. That person has issues, as does the person who’s having cosmetic surgery to win someone else’s approval.
I think it’s one’s own choice. Granted, I get to make fun of the women who increase to DD because they want some old guy to suffocate in them and get $100 trillion from the settlement. Actually, scratch that, I get to sue them. Hopefully.
But many women, like the comments I’ve seen above, have them for real reasons. And if I think one can justify it to themselves after having thought about it for a long time, well, it’s your money. Of course I’ve thought about it too – who wouldn’t like a bit of extra stuff taken out of thighs, stomach, arms? I happen to be blessed with a naturally full pair up there, but unfortunately sometimes it looks rather odd on a 5’1″ girl. The one thing cosmetic surgery can do for ME is to figure out a magical way (without breaking your legs and waiting for them to heal, that is) to grow a few inches taller. Then we’ll talk.
Opposite is true – don’t drink and drive with co-workers. Plastic surgery is plain nuts. While I’m suffering from rabbititus, your readers are suffering from reality TV overloa(r)d.
As a member of the fake boob brigade, I gotta say – I love my girls. I got them 4 years ago to make my body look more proportionate (I have an athletic build aka big thighs, hips and butt). Amen, thank you Dr. Lo! He was the best and my boobs look great. No one can ever tell they are fake which should be the goal when getting plastic surgery. Enhancement, not major change.
Every time I see my step-mom (usually every 12-18 months), she looks different. And not always better. Also, she’s a size 4 who gets a little liposuction every couple of years.
It just makes me sad for her, truthfully.
Otherwise, I am outwardly “to each his/her own” but inwardly I do cringe at a lot of it. We have this idea that there is an ideal physical being and that we all should be striving for it. The unattainable sucks.
It’s a little of both… it’s meh and sad and even more sad by the fact that it’s so meh… ugh!
Every time I see my step-mom (usually every 12-18 months), she looks different. And not always better. Also, she’s a size 4 who gets a little liposuction every couple of years.
It just makes me sad for her, truthfully.
Otherwise, I am outwardly “to each his/her own” but inwardly I do cringe at a lot of it. We have this idea that there is an ideal physical being and that we all should be striving for it. The unattainable sucks.
I’m with Jessie!
I love my new nose. I did it for myself, and for the record, I already own a house. If you have the extra money and are able to change something about your appearance that you aren’t happy with, go for it.
I can tell you that wearing the same barely A bras since 7th grade is difficult. You don’t feel like a woman. Add that to my short-waisted boyish figure and we’re running out of things to identify me as a woman with a first glance. I wasn’t wanting hooker boobs, I simply wanted to add some shape to my shirts with a nice full B cup. I ended up with a very realistic 34C (my existing breast tissue was very deceiving & bumped up my cup size). While bigger than originally planned, I can’t tell you how amazing it felt to try on my wardrobe afterwards and have my clothes finally fit as they were intended. I had CURVES! I was lucky because you can’t tell that they’re fake. Everytime I’ve confided in a friend, they are always shocked and express something along the lines of “I would have never guessed! They’re proportional. They look & move so naturally!”
I’m also all for reductions. My mother was a petit, short-waisted 5’3″ woman with a 34DD cup. Not pleasant or comfortable. She looked top-heavy and 30 pounds heavier than she really was. Reducing her to a small C cup has made so many aspects of her life more enjoyable and comfortable. I echo others comments in that your motives and reasons play a big part in determining whether you illicit pity or respect.
Eh, I am ‘blessed’ with a giant set of boobage… (double letters, but I’m only 117 lbs) and it’s created some issues. So much so I don’t even want to shop for my wedding dress. Also, gravity works.
So… Yeah. Reduction in my future after kids.
I think its sad. My bf’s ex-wife had lipo done, tummy tuck as well as a chinny chin chin tuck and it really effed with her head. She did it because she just had a baby and was not able to lose the weight. Now, after having a baby, it was clear that she had PPD. What do you think it did to her after she had the surgery?
Now they’re divorced and she’s effing with my life.
personally? I’m 21 and when I was 19 I weighed 120 pounds but had 34 FF boobs. yes– FF. not a typo. So I had a breast reduction, covered fully by insurance, where they took off EIGHT POUNDS, still leaving me at a full C (just to give a heads up on how heavy on my back they really were) and was actually criticized a LOT by female friends of mine who were jealous for god knows what reasons.
I think the surgery all applies on the circumstance.
Eh, for me personally, I would never voluntarily put myself under the knife unless I was ill.
I’ve had plastic surgery. But then, I’m also from Venezuela and here everyone either has had something (most have had many things retouched) done or are planning to do so in the near future. You could say people here have their priorities slightly askew, but here the importance of looks is very embedded in the culture. So do I judge? Absolutely not.
eh, to each their own, is my feeling. id rather spend my loot on traveling and new clothes and of course, cheap wine.
by the way, your blog was one of the very first ones i started reading, way back when (three years ago, actually). it was actually you who inspired me to start up writing one of my own, and i just wanted to stop by and say thank you. thanks for always writing thought provoking posts. for writing authentically, for making me laugh, and for sharing yourself with the blog world.
brookem, from boston.
I live in Florida & we are very image driven. I see a lot of plastioc every where. It isn’t something I would do, mainly because it’s so expensie, & I’d rather spend the money else where, but like Sheryl Crow says,”If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.”