I could hear Mom laughing in the bathroom stall.
“What are you laughing at?”
“You!”
When the curtain came down last night on Little House on the Prairie the Musical, I quickly scooped up my purse. “Go!” I said to Mom and we both scurried out of the theater before the actors had taken their bows. By the time we reached the ladies’, I’d fessed up. We left quickly for a reason.
See, I was lucky enough to be seated next to two tween girls for the performance. They were what, twelve, maybe thirteen years old? And they talked through the entire show. By the second act, they were bored with just talking and started hitting each other with their programs. Oh yes, and mimicking the performance. I wanted to put gum in their hair. Handfuls of sticky gum. They were ruining it! And their mothers? Oh, they couldn’t be bothered with parenting. They were half in the bag and talking themselves.
So when that curtain dropped, I leaned over to my right and growled in my best Adam Sandler,
“You SUCK.”
And then we ran.
“That’s why we got out of there so fast?” Mom was laughing into her hand.
“Uh, yeah. I didn’t need any moms yelling at me.”
We laughed ourselves into the bathroom, out of the music hall and then home on the DART rail. And I couldn’t help but cherish the look on that girl’s face as we abandoned our seats. I think she knew she sucked.
Pure awesome.
You rock for telling them they sucked.
How was the play?
In the same thread… an acquaintences child was playing with my son last weekend. Then the little boy thought he could rant to me (repeatedly) about how my son annoys him. I told him to be quiet that HE was annoying ME by talking rudely about my son. The little shit. My kid is so much cooler than him. Did I act like a child, yes. Do I care, no.
You are a true heroine
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play, lol!
Sometimes I REALLY don’t like other peoples’ kids!
LOLOL OMG LOLOL!
Hysterical! Carpe Diem! You go, Girl!
This situation with “other peoples kids” is where I recall my mother’s advice and just simply keep my mouth shut.
Sigh.
I’m sorry that their rude and inconsiderate behavior took some of the enjoyment out of the show for you. It really does suck.
Although I appreciate the laughter it inspired for you and your mom.
Something similar happened to me and a friend of mine at the Cirque Du Soleil/Love show in Vegas. Drunk girl comes in and is treating it like she’s at a rock concert. First I switched seats with my friend because the girl was flailing her arms all over the place when a song she new came on and my friend didn’t want to get hit in the face. Finally towards the end, I flat out told her to shut up! Then she proceeded to curse at me, saying this is Vegas &…blah blah blah. What I should have done was go get an usher. I couldn’t believe her friends let her act that way. If I’m paying good money to see a concert, or play, or even a movie, SHUT UP and don’t block my view!
Something similar happened to me and a friend of mine at the Cirque Du Soleil/Love show in Vegas. Drunk girl comes in and is treating it like she’s at a rock concert. First I switched seats with my friend because the girl was flailing her arms all over the place when a song she new came on and my friend didn’t want to get hit in the face. Finally towards the end, I flat out told her to shut up! Then she proceeded to curse at me, saying this is Vegas &…blah blah blah. What I should have done was go get an usher. I couldn’t believe her friends let her act that way. If I’m paying good money to see a concert, or play, or even a movie, SHUT UP and don’t block my view!
Dude, some people just have no idea that there are, y’know, OTHER people in the world trying to enjoy themselves.
I completely agree. That was compelte BS. Couple of snotty little brats! You shoulda smacked ‘em on the head with their own programs too.
I am a high school teacher and I will often forget that when I am in public I am not ‘allowed’ to tell the foul-mouthed lil turds to sit down/shut up/don’t use the f word etc’….sigh. Though I would like to try it once to see what would happen.
There is a special place in Hell for people who talk at the theatre.
And that place is going to be mighty full since I always seem to be seated by these people at every show I attend…plays, opera, symphony, you name it! Etiquette seems to be completely absent from society anymore.
Oh well…it’s probably just another sign of the apocalypse.
I’m a little disappointed you didn’t put gum in their hair.
May I just say that when I was a professional actress, my fellow actors and I would often call out audience members for talking. It was awesome! They were so embarrassed!
(There’s a great video on Youtube of Hugh Jackman doing this when he and Daniel Craig were in a show on Broadway and someone’s cell phone kept going off.)
Did I miss the part where you leaned over and politely asked them to hush it? I totally understand the frustration but to think that a quick, non-related insult at the end of the performance will have any sort of impact on them is counter-productive. All of us should, to some degree, remember our own manners. Not trying to be harsh, but seriously, we are the adults and perhaps, unfortunately, they don’t know any better.
Same thing happened to me at “Legally Blonde – The Musical”, only they were calling out comments to the actors. Dear god, I was so grateful they served alcohol at the Center for Performing Arts. At $85 per ticket, I did NOT deal well with all that giggling and squee-age and chattering.
At least they weren’t sucking face and chatting in the middle of the second row, like two patrons at the play I was at Saturday night. Now THAT was classy.
LOVE.IT.