So, it’s my birthday on Monday. My coworker asked me if I’m one of those women who “get all weird” about birthdays and getting older and junk. I’m not. I mean, at least for the time being. My thirties have been treating me really sort of awesome overall and maybe this sounds dumb, but there’s something authoritative sounding about it. Like, being in your twenties lumps you with the a whole set of folks who aren’t expected to have their shit together. But me? I’m thirty something! I’m thirty something and I don’t remotely have my shit together but damn, I put on a good show.
Anyway, if I’m not mistaken, around birthday time every year, we get real interactive here and do a Q&A. You get to ask me all the things I avoid addressing in daily posts and I either answer them or cause a mighty distraction (is that a rabbit over there?) and keep on with the avoiding thing.
Topics to avoid: that whole New York musician thing, the baby jesus (that seems to get folks riled up) and the spattering of varicose veins I discovered this morning because, wow is it going to take a while before I’m zen about that.
Have at it!
Is it to early to ask questions? Anyways I was wondering what type of beauty products you love to use (both makeup and hair products). Your complexion and hair always looks so good when you post photos of yourself. I’m hoping if you have any secrets you’ll spill.
Thanks!
Answer: Amy! My new best friend! I actually have okay skin but a terrible habit of lingering too long in front of the mirror turning ‘okay’ into a red, blotched mess. I use Murad acne clarifying cleanser and have for years. I’ve never found anything I like better. The hair thing is a genetic blessing, but two things have always made it shiny – Aveda hair color (they seem to have the gentlest in-salon color) and Matrix Sleek Look shampoo/conditioner. It’s in an orange bottle. Hard to miss. Truthfully, I’d love to switch over to more earth-friendly organic products, but I need guidance on that front!
Happy Birthday!
Quick story about distraction and babies!
My niece is almost 3 and the cutest thing ever( to set the stage). She recently got in trouble at daycare for hitting her friend. When she was in the car with her mom and dad, they asked her why she hit. She got quiet, looked out the window, and said “it looks like it might rain”. I had NO IDEA a 3 year old could change the subject like that! Her parents had a hard time keeping it together, but not well enough because I never did hear why she hit her friend!
New York musician? I know nothing about this person and now I’m intrigued. Boo. Moving on…
What would be your fantasy birthday? What would you do to celebrate if you could do anything?
Answer: I’m getting old and easy to please, I think. I’d love to sleep until 9, nap in a hammock, and have dinner with my siblings. All of ‘em. In the same place. That’s what makes me happiest.
Have you started wedding gown shopping yet? Also, poster Heather, my daughter was a master of this when she was 3. Once she said, “I don’t care to discuss that.” I swear.
Answer: I’m not buying a gown. Instead, I’m having a vintage party dress recreated as a wedding dress by a local seamstress. Saves a bunch of money! And I get exactly what I want.
Pick one or all
1. Do you have any book reccomendations?
2. Hidden talents?
3. What are your favorite online (or brick-and-morter) shops? Especially for clothes because I’m having a heck of a time finding things I like lately!
Answer:
1. Their Eyes Were Watching God. I can’t believe it took me til my 30′s to pick that one up. It’s great.
2. No, don’t think so. Which is actually pretty depressing.
3. I haven’t actually bought any clothes – minus an item or two from Target – in a little over a year and a half. It’s just not in the budget! Though when I do have money to burn, I always find something I love LOVE at White House Black Market.
Wait another twenty years – you’ll find most people in their fifties don’t have their sh*t together either…..
What are your top three favorite places to dine out in Dallas? And/or your top three favorite places for happy hour?
(I’ll give you mine, and I promise not to stalk you: Mattito’s, Pappadeaux (greek salad to. die. for.) and
Palomino… And then Sambuca, Palomino and my front porch (c’mon over!)
Answer:
1. Taverna
2. Gloria’s
3. R+D Kitchen
And uh, I don’t really go to happy hour. I know, I know. Every once in a while we’d hop over to Kona Grill, but I’m just not an after work drinker.
Happy Happy birthday! – I agree wholeheartedly about being in my 30s, for all the same reasons you listed.
My question is….does the DL have any nicknames that he calls you that you just secretly (or not so secretly)love?
Answer: I like “babu” which originated as a typo (intended as “baby”) over instant messenger.
What are your three favorite smells and three favorite sounds?
Answer:
Smells
1. Coffee
2. Cut grass
3. Newborns
Sounds
1. Yahoo Messenger on my iPhone – it means a message from the Boy
2. My nephew saying, “Shoes!” God, he really loves shoes.
3. Hal’s purr
Admit to the source of your mighty distraction: Is that a rabbit over there?
hope you are having a Great Birthday Month!!!! (as you gracefully blossom you should extend the celebration time!)
so- are you and the DL gonna jump on the prcreation bandwagon right after the wedding…. or do you think you will wait a year or two?
Answer: No, not right away. We’ve got his schooling to worry about, so it’ll be a couple years from now.
We know you’ve travelled quite a bit in the past (pre-Dork Lord) and that you love it. So, where are you planning on going on honeymoon? (If it’s a secret, please give us a very vague clue so we can have hours of amusement guessing)
Answer: It’s no secret – Italy! We’re going to the Amalfi Coast. And I cannot wait. It’s really the only part of the whole wedding fiasco that gives me butterflies!
What’s your favorite recipe for entertaining?
Answer: That’s easy. Wine. Lots of wine.
happy birthday! have a great one.
just hoping you meant “spider veins” and not “varicose veins”. i’m pretty sure there are different health implications for each of these…
Answer: Ah, yes. Spider veins. My god, they’re ugly.
Happy almost birthday! I don’t really have a question, just a comment that I hope you’ll find some joy in…
I moved to Boston two years ago fresh out of college with a broken heart, 9-5 job, and some reckless friends- I felt like I was an outside observer of my own life. About 6 months into my “adventure” I found your blog and started reading from the beginning–compulsively…like gave up TV to read about your life 5 years after it all happened.
I just wanted to tell you that finding your story helped me rescue mine from the broken hearted booze blues. (not that there’s anything wrong with booze!) So thanks for always being so honest and guiding a stranger through some strange times.
Happy almost birthday! I don’t really have a question, just a comment that I hope you’ll find some joy in…
I moved to Boston two years ago fresh out of college with a broken heart, 9-5 job, and some reckless friends- I felt like I was an outside observer of my own life. About 6 months into my “adventure” I found your blog and started reading from the beginning–compulsively…like gave up TV to read about your life 5 years after it all happened.
I just wanted to tell you that finding your story helped me rescue mine from the broken hearted booze blues. (not that there’s anything wrong with booze!) So thanks for always being so honest and guiding a stranger through some strange times.
Happy almost birthday! I don’t really have a question, just a comment that I hope you’ll find some joy in…
I moved to Boston two years ago fresh out of college with a broken heart, 9-5 job, and some reckless friends- I felt like I was an outside observer of my own life. About 6 months into my “adventure” I found your blog and started reading from the beginning–compulsively…like gave up TV to read about your life 5 years after it all happened.
I just wanted to tell you that finding your story helped me rescue mine from the broken hearted booze blues. (not that there’s anything wrong with booze!) So thanks for always being so honest and guiding a stranger through some strange times.
Would you ever get any sort of cosmetic procedure done (not that you need it, of course!)?
Also, ever been to LA?
Answer: I would never have a cosmetic procedure that required anesthesia, that much I know. I don’t really see cosmetic surgery in my future, except maybe I’d consider getting these spider veins lasered, if money wasn’t a big deal.
And yes, my grandparents are from Ventura, so I’ve been out that way several times.
Oh wait! I forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Happy Day!
I think it’s awesome that you and the DL pooled your monies into an engagement ring. How did that conversation come up?
Answer: My idea. I sort of insisted. We share everything else, why not that expense? While I wanted a ring that said, “hey, I’m taken!” I didn’t think he needed to ‘buy me’ with a piece of jewelry.
First – an early Happy Birthday to you!
Now, the question. Do you listen to/are you a fan of Kidd Kraddick in the Morning? LOL I know, it seems an odd question – but here in PA, we just got them on our local station & I am hooked. They are too funny! Listening to their radio show online while I am at my desk certainly makes my morning better, so I was j/w…since you are in Texas and all.
Answer: I listened to Kidd when I was 19 and commuting for a summer internship. I haven’t listened to the radio in YEARS but I remember Kidd, for sure.
I think my comment got deleted, I’ll try again.
1. How often would you say that you and DL argue or disagree?
2. Are either one of you the type to walk away from an argument because you’re mad?
3. What was it about DL that made you know he was “the one”?
Happy Birthday! and I love your blog. Keep writing forever please.
Answer:
1.Disagree? Eh, probably daily. Like, last night we disagreed whether something should go into the dishwasher. But did it turn into an argument? Of course not. Things rarely do. We’ve maybe a dozen arguments tops in our entire relationship and maybe three or four of those turned into a fight where someone was really, really upset.
2. Yes, he is.
3. I don’t know, I just… recognized him. That’s the best word for it, I think. It wasn’t one thing, but a very certain sense that he was who I was waiting for.
Happy Birthday!!!
1) What were your favorite spots (to go out, to eat, to relax, etc) in your old ‘hood in NYC?
2) What was your favorite childhood book?
Answer:
1. DTUT for coffee with friends, Elana’s living room for bad TV and Chinese takeout and the Great Lawn in Central Park for people watching and freckle-gettin’.
2. I think I read Little Women three or four times before I was out of the 3rd grade. I loved ANYTHING Alcott wrote.
Happy Birthday!
You once wrote that you used to only date guys of a certain type: the type to break your heart. Do you think deciding to put those boys behind you helped you to “recognize” the DL as your one true love? In other words, would you have still “recognized” him when you were 20?
Answer: Oh, hell no, I wouldn’t have recognized him at 20. I’d have never met him when I was 20, for that matter, because he’d have been too busy playing Warcraft.
Happy almost birthday from me, too!! It’s been a total blast reading your writing over the last several years, and from my end of the decades-spectrum, the thirties really are awesome. Way more awesome than the twenties, although I’m not sure that it’s the result of having anything together – it’s more about realizing that the only person’s opinion that matters about what you do and don’t have “together” is yours. [The forties are when (I think, anyway) you really come into your own, but that will keep for a while yet!]
That said, assuming money were no object, and you and the DL could live (not visit, but live) anywhere you wanted, where would you live and why?
Answer: I would love, love, love to live in a house with a big wide porch that wrapped all the way around. With lots of windows in the kitchen and a backyard with a garden and a tire swing. Somewhere where it’s not hot. Money and commute would have to be no object, because there’s no where like that which doesn’t require an hour in the car each way just to get to work.
Happy Birthday!
Hmm, as a relatively new reader, the Q&A is new to me, but loving it. Amalfi coast – sigh. I can practically taste the red wine!
Okay, questions:
1. Do you think you’re Type A or B?
2. What’s your happiest memory?
3. I know you had a post recently, where you touched upon writing a novel, and how you had apprehension about it because you didn’t want to write about your life, or didn’t think that would be read-worthy… something along those lines, but I’m probably paraphrasing badly. Just wanted to tell you that some of my favourite books ever, the ones that leave me thinking and make me want to hug the pages, are the ones that are somewhat loosely based on the author’s life and experiences. Guess it’s the whole ‘write what you know? ‘ Would just love to see you in a printed, bound version in my local bookstore one day. So am wondering if you think you would reconsider, and if you would give yourself a timeline to do this in?
(Only reference a timeline because ‘some day’ is a troublesome word..)
Answer:
1. I don’t even really know what those mean, Type A and B. I’m Type Me.
2. Hmmm… I have lots, but most probably involve grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.
3. No, I don’t have a timeline. I don’t even really have a burning desire to write a book. I guess until then, it seems like it would just be a battle, you know?
Happy Birthday!
I’m not really an intrusive person, so no question
Oh, I have another question! Has DL met your parents yet? You’ve talked about hanging with his family, but I’m not sure I’ve read about him meeting yours?
Answer: Yes, he has. Several times. I think I’ve written about us going out to stay with my family for weddings and stuff.
Happy birthday!!
As far as more organic beauty products I have FALLEN IN LOVE with Burt’s Bees bar soap facial washes. The tomato is for oily skin, the carrot for the summer and “mature skin” (I bought one for after vacations….) and the lettuce for drier skin. I’ve seen them at Central Markets and Whole Foods, plus other smaller stores I’m sure and online. IF I break out it’s one pimple every other month and my face doesn’t feel oily by the end of the day anymore. LOVE IT!. (I really usually don’t use this many caps)
I think I kind of know the answer to this, but have you ever thought of doing a Dallas-area meet up?
Answer: I did one once when I first moved here. The idea is nice, but really, they’re kind of a lot of pressure, like one massive blind date!
Happy Birthday! Are you still considering becoming a yoga teacher? How’s that going?
Answer: Yes, but not right now. Until we’re out of debt it’s simply not a reality. I can’t even afford the training right now, much less the loss of income. Reality is such a tramp, isn’t she?
Happy almost-birthday! I always have a ton of questions, but then your birthday rolls around and I forget what I wanted to ask. So, randomly –
1. How do you organize emails – do you save everything, organize into folders, or delete email immediately after reading/responding?
2. Are you still a compulsive thank-you note writer? Who taught you that skill?
3. A few years down the road, when you two get ready to have a family – will you find out the sex ahead of time, or wait to be surprised?
4. What color are your fingernails/toenails painted?
Thanks a ton!
Answer:
1. My emails are a shameful disarray of haphazardness. I never delete anything and I rely heavily on the search function.
2. Oh, on and off. And that was a lesson taught by my mother. In fact, I have one sitting in my purse that I’ve meant to send to Amanda’s grandparents for three effing weeks now. It’s written, it’s just not been sent. FAIL.
3. I hate surprises. I mean it. I will want to know everything as soon as it’s knowable. Chris will probably disagree.
4. Chick Flick Cherry (toes) and Sweetheart (fingers)
How old is Hal? It seems like you’ve had him for a long time.
Happy Birthday!
Answer: He’s… almost 7, I think. I got him in 2004 when he was 5 months old. He *should* be turning 7 in October, if the SPCA folks were right.
Happy Birthday Chickie. 29th isn’t it?
Question: Can you give a quick rundown of the sibling list? Ages, locals, general personalities if you’re so inclined, and how you fall in the pack. I know you’ve touched on all of this in various posts, I just don’t know that I’ve seen it together (or I missed it).
Enjoy the day
Answer:
1. Jason, 33 (next week), Utah. Cop. Husband of Jamie, father to Penny.
2. Me, 32 (next week), Dallas, Texas.
3. Nora, 29, San Diego, California. Elephant Trainer – San Diego Zoo.
4. Audrey, 25, Austin, Texas. Asst. Buyer at UT. Wife to Kevin.
5. Joyce, 24 (almost), Utah. Wive of Jake, mother to Owen and Abby.
I happen to have a copy of Their Eyes Were Watching God at my desk! A Thrift Store find I haven’t read. Now I will. :0)
We use Yahoo Messenger too–take that texting plan!
I forgot earlier but– Happy Birthday! I have been saying since I was about 23 that I’m really looking forward to my thirties because they will be wonderful. Next April I’ll try out that theory but I’m glad to know your experience supports my theory.
Happy birthday, Heather! I think you’ve changed jobs a few times since I’ve been reading, so my question is: of all the jobs you’ve ever had, what has been your most favorite? Do you see yourself staying in your field of work for years to come?
(Ok, that was questionS, plural, sorry. I’m approaching my 30s, and I suppose I’m wondering if you still have the, “when I grow up, I’d like to be…” or if your fave job was the one you had at 16…)
Answer: Hmmm… I like this blogging job – it’s been a blessing, for sure. One of my favorite jobs over the years had nothing to do with my actual responsibilities, but the people I worked with were so freaking great that I absolutely loved going to work. The one I have now keeps me very busy (there’s work waiting for me right now on a Saturday morning), but I like it because they trust me and my expertise. THAT feels awesome. I don’t know if I see myself doing this over the long haul. When we have kids, I hope it will eventually take on more of a consulting role so there’s flexibility. Who knows.
No questions from me–only because you already answered it by telling us about the vintage dress you’re having re-created–but a very, very happy birthday wish for you! I’m 33 and I totally agree with you about loving my 30s. I’m finally starting to feel like a grown-up. And it’s great. I kind of feel like I’m settled into my life (been married for 11 years (!), two kids, job, etc.) and am really comfortable with who I am and where I am. It’s pretty nice. Anyway, happy birthday again!
Happy Happy Birthday!!! I hope this next year will bring you more love, laughter and blessings than you can count.
I totally agree with you about being in your thirties… I am finally starting to feel like I’m coming into my own at 34 (although can guarantee I don’t have my shit together).
I only have one question – where did you come up w/the idea of recreating a vintage dress through a seamstress? Have you looked at pics online, etc? I hope you don’t mind but if I ever get married again, its an idea I hope to steal… that would totally be right up my alley.
Answer: I wasn’t looking for a wedding dress when I saw it. I can’t remember what I was doing, probably just killing time, and I saw this dress and I thought, I want to wear that dress! How can I wear that dress? And then when we were talking marriage I realized I could have it made as a wedding dress and have an excuse to wear something so pretty and feminine. Steal away! It’s so much more economical than buying a gown.
Happy Birthday!
After much thought, I have a couple of questions for you:
1. How’s your relationship with your Dad?
2. Out of all your travels, what’s your happiest travel memory?
3. What’s your happiest birthday memory?
4. What do you tell yourself in order to be frugal? I try and try, and then I blow all the savings away!
PS: I’m sending good wishes your way for the yoga thing. I am sure somehow, sooner rather than later, you are going to make it happen!
Answer:
1. My relationship with my dad is fine. We just kind of exist in different realities.
2. I don’t know that I have a favorite, but when 8 of us went to the Bahamas, that was really some awesomeness. Hammocks, booze, good friends. But I also LOVED traveling alone. Cinque terre might have been the best.
3. I threw myself a party for my 30th birthday and it was so much freaking fun having my apartment packed with like, 60 people. Loved it.
4. Hmmm… I don’t know if I tell myself anything. I just DO it because I know I have to if I want the kind of future I want. I have a budget that outlines what expenses have to be met and I stick to it. I can be pretty disciplined when I put my mind to it!
Happy early birthday, Heather! I agree with you about the thirties thing- I just turned 30 last month and have never felt more my age….in a good way! Being in your twenties and being grouped in with d-bag frat boys and the Juicy Couture track suit wearers who chase them is no good.
Anyway! Questions….well, maybe it’s not so much a question but a request instead. Have you picked out your dress? I want wedding details! Normally, I get all annoyed with that stuff, but I’ve been reading your blog for years and kind of feel like I “know you” or something and have all this pent up joy about your impending nuptials (also, apparently I like run-on sentences too). I hope that doesn’t make me come off as some sort of stalker lady person. I’m just happy for you is all. Dork Lord sounds like a good one.
Answer: I have! I found a picture of a dress on a vintage resale site and a seamstress is going to make it for me. It’s lovely.
My birthday is on Wednesday, so happy birthday fellow Cancer. I’m going to be 37 and I still don’t have my sh*t together. I feel like I should own my own home by now, but with the job I have, it’s just not in the cards right now.
I don’t really have a question for you..Just wanted to tell you Happy Birthday!!
Happy birthday!!!!! As someone who will be 41 in 2 weeks has 2 kids, and doesn’t REMOTELY have her sh*t together, I’d say not to worry and just enjoy!
I know I’m a day late, but I’m hoping that you will still take my question.
Do you keep in touch with a lot of your old NYC friends or has it been too hard with distance and such? Like Ari? I haven’t heard you mention her in years.
Answer: Yep, I do. Not as much as I’d like, but I do. I saw many of them in January. And as for Ari, if you haven’t read about her, it’s because I call her by her real name now.
Do you think you’ll continue to blog after marriage? Babies?
(Please say yes!)
Have a great Birthday!
Answer: Oh, yes. I can imagine I’ll have to be more disciplined when computer free time gets even harder to come by, but I fully plan to!
Sorry, I have another question for you.
We are planning on getting out of Texas (woohoo!) and going to NYC to get back into the northeast (originally from Philly). What suggestions do you have for being there?
We realize a)unless we’re living in outer Queens we’re getting 300 sq ft for $2000/month b)clothes shopping will still be occurring at the Target sales rack c)jobs must be had prior to arrival.
Thanks!
Answer: Well, that’s a much longer discussion than a simple Q&A. Perhaps we’ll take this off line
Happy birthday again!
love your blog
Happy Birthday Heather!
Your sister is seriously an Elephant Trainer? That has to be an interesting job!
as for the Q for the Q&A: Other than wine, what is your favorite “adult” beverage?
Answer: Vodka martini, dry and VERY dirty.
Happy Birthday Fish! I hope you do something really fun to celebrate!
I might be late for the questions, but Hope you have a fabulous day today!
What do you do in your current job?
Fish,
When you relocated to Dallas area several years back, I asked
if you had considered Austin then; more recently you seemed to have expressed a desire to live in Austin; what changed your mind ? as opposed to having just moved directly there from N.Y. several years back. Thanks Brenda (former Austinite and missing it)
Answer: I moved to Dallas because I had family here. I didn’t have anyone in Austin. My sister lives there now with her husband.
Please please share your Costa Rica experience – where you stayed, what you liked best, anything else you feel like dishing. We are in the beginning stages of planning a trip and I remember reading your post and thinking “THAT is where I want to go when I finally take my trip.” Thanks.
And Happy Birthday to you. Mine is tomorrow. Cancerians unite! =)
Answer: We stayed in Arenal for the rainforest part of our adventure, which I liked, strangely enough, a whole lot more than the beach. The zip lines are so much freaking fun!
Hey it’s Monday so it must be your birthday!
HAPPY HAPPY B-DAY!
Do something special or buy yourself something nice. You deserve it because it’s YOUR day!
Happy, happy Birthday! So far are you and DorkLord planning on staying in TX?
Answer: Yes, indeedy. His family is here and some fraction of mine is, too. The only larger concentration of family for me is in Utah. And, uh, not exactly my cuppa cuppa, you know?
I love this. Sometimes I think “putting on a good show” IS having your shit together.
Happy birthday Heather!!!! I’ve been reading your blog for YEARS and seriously, write the book. I’ll buy it. I can’t believe your sister is an elephant trainer!! How awesome is that??! So, yes, no real questions but I love your blog and your writing and also totally suck because I never comment. It’s like that person who comes to the potluck empty handed kinda – you know, no contribution.
Happy Birthday!
33 has been good to me so far.
Speaking of Utah … some religion questions,
Was it a good way to grow up?
Was there one moment that made you know it wasn’t for you, or a progression?
Do you still believe in God, or more in the childhood superstitiony (sp) way?
PS – for Italy – not entirely the same area you’re going, but a nice read. Makes me want to go right now!
http://www.travelerslunchbox.com/journal/2008/3/9/5-things-to-love-about-calabria.html
what do you think about Johnny Cash on your birthday?
Sorry, I just realized I didn’t read the directions! Sorry for a bad question!!!
No, no, that’s not it. I just haven’t had time to sit down and answer your question properly. Soon!
Happy ! Happy ! Happy ! Birthday ………….
We have the same birthday! I’ve been reading your blog for what seems like a year — you’re a talented writer, and I am so glad you share peeks at your life! Sorry it’s taken so long to leave a comment.
I hope your birthday was as wonderful as mine, and involved tons of delicious cake and more than a few drinks!
-MissSarahBrown