first you start thinkin’, then you start blinkin’

I am, as of the last ten days or so, the proud owner of my very own eye twitch. I know, right? Lucky girl. Incidentally, did you know there was a website just for eye twitches? Oh, yes. www.eyetwitching.net. We’re elite. We have our own website.

I visited that fine site on Saturday, after twitching my way through the week, and one by one, nixed the most popular causes of eye twitching from my list of possibles.

Caffeine: I have been, and probably always will be, a one-cup-of-coffee girl. Would I give it up if it turned out that six ounces of home brew was causing this crazy eye flutter? Oh, yes. But I’m gonna go ahead and assume that’s not the case. My caffeine intake is neither recent nor excessive. Unlike, say, my intake of Dexter, MadMen and shhh, Pretty Little Liars. Don’t tell.

Stress: Eh, not so much. I’m working kind of a lot, but I like it and it’s pretty low on the frustration scale. Except for that time when I realized that some disgruntled former employee deleted all the local back-up files for our website. Whee!

Exhaustion: I slept twelve whole hours on Friday night (god, it was glorious) and then nine more beautiful hours on Saturday night. I’m freaking vibrant, dammit!

Dry Eye/Allergies: Negatory.

Neurological Disorders: Uh, um, crap. Let’s not even go there.

Of the list, vision problems seemed a little more likely than the rest. I gave myself a little eye test, though, and everything seemed status quo. One other online resource suggested that mineral deficiencies can be responsible, so I paid a visit to the vitamin aisle and yesterday, with a little help from my friends Magnesium and Potassium, it was so far so good. Until about 5PM. And then, well, then it was super spazzy time. My commute home was like watching a crappy reel-to-reel film. Like Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land or someshit.

Today, we try bananas. And if that doesn’t work, well, my neurological disorder is just gonna have to wait until October when my insurance benefits kick in. God bless America. 

24 comments to first you start thinkin’, then you start blinkin’

  • I’d revisit the allergy possibility and consider an allergist before the neurologist. I had zero nasal/optic/throat type allergies…until I hit my mid-thirties. Then I turned into a runny-nosed, sneezing, eye-twitching mess. And I didn’t recognize each new symptom as part of the whole allergy thing. I got used to a runny nose, but hey, my throat hurts — I must be sick. Then I got used to the runny nose and sore throat, but hey, my eye is twitching — I must have a brain tumor Eventually, I got diagnosed and take generic zyrtec (otc) and generic flonase (script) daily. I have started feeling itchy this summer. I must have fleas!

  • I had a twitchy eye for a long time. I do have allergies, but I think it was underlying stress. I didn’t feel particularly stressed, but looking back I was not entirely happy with my situation.

    Are you doing things for yourself that are an outlet for your creativity and make you happy? Just something to think about…

  • Lulu

    My mom used to say that eye twitching was from not drinking enough milk. I feel like maybe it was just a way to make me drink more milk…but you never know!

  • Kris

    I know it sounds silly, but one sip of Tonic Water (with Quinine) always stops any eye twitching. I’m not a big fan of gin … or gin and tonic, so I usually just sip about 2-3 ounces. The results are almost immediate. Good luck.

  • Rebecca

    Love your Young MC reference in the title!

  • Leslie

    calcium! when i stay too far away from calcium, i get the eye twitches. i work in a church situation, which is chock fulla retired folks, so imagine an event with 26-year-old leslie accidentally winking at 150 men over 60. calcium for the win.

  • I developed an eye twitch during my first pregnancy… it was from severe calcium deficiency. As soon as I started taking more calcium (4 times the recommended dose, plus my prenatal vitamin- at the advice of my OB) it went away. It started earlier in my current pregnancy but with a better diet, I quickly fixed it. Potassium will help you retain/use more calcium in your body, so while you are eating your bananas, have a glass of Vitamin D milk! It’s worth trying, and when you are 60, your bones will thank you:)

  • Jessie

    My eye twitches and floaters always show up when I have been spending too much time staring at a computer screen under fluorescent lighting. Is your office on its own lighting, or is it cubicle-style? I found that turning off the light directly above the computer helps. Also, taking an eye break every 30 minutes or so.

  • Alyce

    Calcium was what my doc said, to echo what the other commenters said. And I find I am more likely to be twitchy if I am dehydrated. So I drink a full glass of water with my vitamins as a reminder to be good to myself.

  • melissa

    I had a college roommate who told me that when my eye twitched it meant my electrolytes were off. Gatorade did the trick for me.

  • Melanie D

    I know this is going to sound crazy, but sometimes a decent slap in the face on the cheekbone/cheek area of offending eye stops the twitching. It does not always work, but I am sure you can find someone willing to give a you a decent slap. Best success is with an “unexpected” slap. (Self-inflicted slaps never work because you tense the muscles.)

  • TBA

    I love that you just brought up Donald in Mathemagic Land. My 7th grade math teacher showed us that 4-5 times throughout the year. I don’t remember much else about math that year, but wherever more than 3 people from the middle school are gathered, we will talk about Mr. Allen’s affinity for Donald Duck!

  • Ashley

    Oh Fish, why would you do this to me? Now I’ll have Bust A Move stuck in my head for a week. Dammit!

    On an unrelated note, don’t feel bad about Pretty Little Liars. I’m currently hooked on Make It or Break It. :-)

  • Try calcium. Eye twitching is one of the first symptoms of calcium deficiency. And I’m sure you know you cannot take calcium without vitamin D!

    My doctor once did the slap thing on the cheekbone that Melanie D is talking about. If it makes your eyebrow twitch, then it confirms that you have low calcium. Apparently it’s called an Elvis Twitch.

  • Q

    I’ve always heard this is due to dehydration. Are you drinking enough water during the day? Maybe that will help?

  • i always heard it was a potassium thing, bananas definitely help me.

    and i second the opinion that sometimes we’re stressed and don’t even know it, sometimes the most exciting things are stressful (like wedding planning and meeting the man of your dreams).

    hope you’re well!

  • Miss B

    No theories from me (though everyone else’s theories seem sound enough, at least to begin with) — just a suggestion for your potassium and hydration situation…coconut water. Buy the stuff without any added sugar or what-have-you — VitaCoco is a pretty easy-to-find brand in a lot of stores. It has more potassium than a banana, and it’s full of electolytes and very hydrating. Plus, it’s a refreshing change from just plain tap water.

  • C

    this post could not have come at a better time. i have been getting muscle twitches (not my eyelid, but all over my body) for the past few days now. i’m marking the time it started so I know my ‘onset’. my coffee intake has not changed either, so i ruled that out. i was fearing a neurological disorder but now that you mention magnesium and potassium…

  • Sheenu

    Been there, twitched that. For a whole week! Was. Not. Fun.

    Try reducing the time spent on the computer, moisturing/relaxing eye drops, and sliced cucumber slices on the eye. Think all three helped in my case.

  • lori

    I’m a proud owner of a eye twitch too!! Yay. Mine comes and goes. When I’m working a lot on the computer it’s a little (lot) more frequent. I actually haven’t had any problems in a while. I usually just shut that eye or cover it with my hand because it gets annoying and I think other people can see it twi twi twitching.

  • NK

    I have been reading your blog for years and I LOVE you! you make me laugh and you make me cry and more than anything, you make me realize that there’s always a bright spot in our lives and maybe it just takes time to see it.

    I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half and it’s been pretty difficult. The hardest part is that he was everything I wanted and needed and things were so great and we were so good together, the simple technical difficulty: he didnt really wanna get married. Didnt see the point in getting a piece of paper from the state validating our love. I don’t doubt that if I had kept talking about it and had utilized the subtle manipulative magical powers that us women have, that I might have been able to convince him. But, really, is that the story i want to tell my grandkids someday? so, i chose not to go down that path :)

    anwyay, the point is I hadnt read your blog in months and just now found out that you recently got engaged and at this time in my life, when most engagements and marriages are making me bitter and sad and invoking the “why not me?” questions, your engagement, not even for a second made me think that. I think you deserve the best and I’m super happy for you. It’s almost inspirational and here’s hoping that I too one day will find a person who wants to spend their happpy together-forever with me. Good luck to you!

  • jessica fantastica

    Getting glasses fixed my eye twitches.

  • Gopi

    Check your blood pressure. It’s free! You might not be stressed, but your blood pressure may not know that.

  • GY

    Have you heard that the quinine in tonic water is supposed to cure eye twitches? I’ve been suffering from the same eye twitch problem all summer (stress). A friend told me her doctor once recommended tonic for curing eye twitches. I’ve tried it (in gin and tonic form…can’t bear the tonic all on its own). It seemed to work! Hope it helps!