“Good afternoon, this is Heather.”
“Hi, Heather this is {name unintelligible}.”
“Hi. What can I do for you?” I recognized neither the accent nor the name.
“We met a few nights ago at the Waldorf. Do you remember?”
Shit. Shit. Shit. Who??
“No, I’m sorry. I don’t.”
“Well, I’m in town on business for a few days and I was wondering if you’d like to go out for a drink.”
Fuck! Not only do I not remember meeting anyone, but I’m fairly certain I didn’t flirt with anyone!
“I….um….” I dug through the business cards on my desk. “Wait! Who did you say this was?”
“It’s {mumbles name}”
“Who is this really?”
The voice on the other end dissolved into laughter.
“Joe! You bastard! You had me sweating!”
Since it’s far too late to avert the jinxing, I think I’m allowed to say that I like when he prank calls me at work, too.
Oh yes, the jinxing has occurred. I knew better! And yet, I prattled on like I was immune to the cruel fates.
As I was stepping out of the shower last night, my cell phone rang. I was expecting his call.
“Hey you. How are ya?”
“Doin’ better now.”
“Charmer! You’re rolling your eyes aren’t you?”
“Better believe it. Listen, I have to work tonight.”
”Aw. Alright. It’s all good.”
“Not it’s not. It sucks! I won’t have a night off until Christmas.”
One of New York’s Finest, Joe works nights. Which, in and of itself can present schedule conflicts. But when he’d already agreed to take on extra shifts and now can’t wiggle out of them? Gah! We spent the rest of the phone call arranging evenings – the few hours our work/sleeping schedules do not overlap – and a weekend day or two between now and Christmas.
A few minutes after we’d hung up, I had a look at my desk calendar and sent him a text message (yeah, yeah. I know. Me. Texting).
H: Just had a look at my calendar — 12 days is a LONG time!
J: Captain Obvious strikes again.
H: Bastard.
Thank goodness my neighbor and friends have already begun filling my pre-Christmas calendar, because I’m gonna need to be kept busy. You know, something to fill up the hours I’m not leaving obscene messages on his voicemail.
Sloppy Joes?
HA! Sounds awesome. What can I bring?
Good to keep busy, my grandmother used to say “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop”. Any good relationship has to have a point where you say “screw it” and just jump. It took me a year to get to that point with my fiance. Enjoy your life, dammit!
‘Bama requests a clean and shiny ponytail as always.
I hate to admit this, but I’m stupid and couldn’t figure out what “New York’s Finest” means. So I googled it and came up with a movie about call girls. So, Fish, I assume that’s not what you mean, but I got a laugh. Thanks!
. . .and coupled with “Joe works nights,” it’s even more giggle-worthy.
Sorry. I’ll stop now. Happy Holidays.
HA!
he’s a cop, darling.
I’m *really* happy to hear about a festive and fervor Fish!
Every woman can relate to reeling in our emotions like excitement, enthusiasm, joy and anything else that may fall through and leave us virtually naked with nothing else but our own consciences telling us “told you so”.
Screw it, this time it’s for real!
It’s funny how “leaving him obscene voicemails” made me think “that’s sweet.”
obscene voicemails = awesome.
especially in long breaks without seeing him.. haha.
Obscene like dirty sex kitten talk or dirty like Mofo come over here and take me to BK?
I said “obscene” not “absurd!”
I give “obscenity” a negative connotation…I don’t think you are. “absurd” I give a positive connotation as I think life is absurd and lovely at the same time. Like if one were to hurl obscenities, I might hurl a brick in return, absurdities would make one strange and endearing. But yes, my prior comment, in retrospect, makes no sense, much like this comment
Congratulations Fish. I bet the, you know thing that two people do together, will be fantastic once you get a little time together after the break. There will no doubt, as ari stated, “sloppy joes.”
I am a firm believer that you can jinx a perfectly good relationship. So this is me NOT telling you good luck!:)
Unless the obscene voicemails are on the stationhouse’s answering machine, it’s all good!
Hey, I’m really gettin’ tired of lookin’ at this post. Will you put up another one? And I want it done yesterday.
ummmm, all your time should be spent leaving obscene messages on his voicemail.
Maybe if you DID leave the obscene voicemail at the station house it would score Joe a few points with the guys…