love-coma

Dear J,

A girlfriend, in the middle of a sad parting-of-ways, asked me if I was ever tempted to just pick up the phone and call you. I answered quickly, saying no, I’d never even scrolled past your name in my cell phone. Then I laughed. Not because it wasn’t true; I never did feel compelled to call. I laughed because, saying your name felt like speaking a foreign language. Like reading the menu at a French restaurant. Familiar but removed from my present vocabulary.

You said once, that your worst fear was having someone wake up one day and realize she wasn’t in love with you anymore. That used to seem so impossible. I wished I could wake up like that. Cured. To not have you my first conscious thought in the morning, my reason for every silly detail, and my last daydream before sleep.

But it occurred to me, that until she asked about you, I hadn’t thought of you in days. Oh, perhaps a fleeting reminder here and there when I packed away those t-shirts you claim not to miss, or when I saw your roommate the other morning. But nothing more. And it feels normal. Somehow, somewhere along the way, I came out of that heavy-lidded Love-Coma and regained my consciousness. It must have happened slowly, though, because, I don’t remember doing it. But this morning, I woke up, and realized it’s possible not to be in love with you.

Love,

H

17 comments to love-coma

  • You’re cured! Fantastic!

    Moire and Office of Lurkers

  • Michael

    And as GI Joe always said: “Knowing is half the battle.”

  • Big hugs for Da Fish…now get to the gym! :) *wink*

  • All the women who are independent…throw your hands up at me….

    Go Fish!

  • Hip Hip… Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray… Hip Hip Hooray!

  • in the past few weeks i severed all ties to a J. of my own. packed away the stuff. saw the roommate on the street and gave an undersized wave. not once did i look at his name on my cellphone. and the other day, i stopped myself, wihle i was putting in my contact lenses, and thought, “oh my god! you always thought you wouldn’t be able to have a life without him in it. and he’s not in your life. and you’re fine.”

    and it feels great. enjoy, fish. it only gets better, i hear!

  • my gut tells me it’s not over. you’ll hear from him.

  • Jennifer

    Congrats, Fish!

    That first conscious thought upon waking up is the hardest part to get rid of, I think. It’s what I struggle with most, anyway.

  • Wow. I just recently recovered from a J. myself, and I just had this same realization about a week ago! It’s SO grand!

    And judging from the number of others who are getting over J’s, I have to say, :

    Ladies, beware of J.

  • Ric

    Good for you. And good for every other eligible guy inthe tri-state area.

  • it’s funny how love fades slowly over time. its scent lingers and permeates everything, then one day it is gone. you no longer notice its presence or its absence. time passes and you find yourself trying to remember the aroma and you discover you can no longer recall it. it has left you. at this point you know you’re ready to head down to bloomingdales and snatch up the latest greatest fragrance. channel no 6, if you will…

    ;-)

  • great job, fishie! now get out there and test drive some new bikes!

  • Way to go fish, you’re an inspiration to all!! As I listen to Alanis as I’m typing this, “You’ve washed your hands clean of this.”

  • now this calls for a celebration …

    good for you! :)

  • Bob

    “If he’s the man of all your dreams, it’s time to wake from love’s long sleep.”

    -The Candybutchers

    I always loved that lyric. =)

  • cara

    huzzah!!!! congrats hon

  • erin

    Yeah, congrats indeed

    Given the recent anonymity-scare, i hope jperson isn’t aware of this site. That’s all.