I had gone to bed for the night, with every intention of staying there. But the second I laid back against the pillows I realized it was not to be.
“Holy sh!t!,” I typed into my phone. “There’s a gecko in my bedroom!”
There was, in fact, a small, pinkish colored gecko hiding out in the joint between the wall and ceiling of my bedroom, where no respectable gecko ought to be.
Assessing the situation, I decided I had to act fast. The resident feline was asleep on the back of the living room sofa, but like that would last long. The second his mischief radar picked up a small, edible creature in a state of panic, chaos would surely ensue. I guessed that was the gecko’s reason for being inside in the first place. Feline persuasion. I snatched a shoe box from the closet and then walked calmly into the dining room to retrieve a chair, all the while sending out extra boring mental vibes. Don’t get up. Just um, dusting the ceiling fan. And then maybe reading the Financial Times. Nothing nearly so exciting as catching a lizard. Shhh. Go back to sleep.
Can I just say, before we go any further, that I did not realize geckos can shed their tails when the situation calls for it? Apparently, being tailless helps them to run faster and also, the detached tail then acts as a diversion… because it MOVES ON ITS OWN. Which is, to say the least, disconcerting. And even after you have rescued and secured the poor frightened fellow in order to transport him outside, the detached tail will continue whipping about wildly in an attempt to distract you from the real deal, moving rather frantically himself, inside your cupped hands.
People, it kind of freaked me out.
I wish I could say that things calmed down after I’d delivered the poor lizard (along with his still twitching tail) to his natural habitat (i.e. the patio). But they did not. Back inside, I realized that there was blood – gecko blood! – on my hands. I’d been awfully gentle with the little guy, so I went back outside to investigate the source. On close inspection (now in shock, he was no longer trying to make an escape), I saw that the reason Sir Hal wasn’t interested in my lizard dealings was that he’d already had his way with him. A little piece of my heart broke.
Because it’s just not something I’m capable of, I couldn’t put him out of his misery. So I went back inside, threw some evil glances in the direction my sleeping cat, and prepared myself for nightmares about tailless, suffering lizards.
I’d like to think that the reason he wasn’t still in the same spot when I went to check on him the next morning had something to do with magical gecko healing powers… and not the tree full of birds across the way.
I know, I know. What a downer. This is why I don’t watch nature shows.
aww, poor itty bitty! i can’t handle that stuff either.
Once in downtown Portland, my boyfriend and I saw in the road directly ahead of us a fatally injured pigeon flapping about miserably, trying to escape but shedding only blood and gray feathers. Boyfriend, unlike you, was quite capable of such things, so he swore loudly (think it was an eff), centered his tires and floored it. In the passenger seat, I covered my eyes and tried not to feel the crunch. I was horrified when I uncovered my eyes and saw that a small red-headed boy was standing on the sidewalk holding his mother’s hand, in full view of the horrible scene, and his face was frozen full pre-cry terror. I’m sure it was the loud obscenity that forced him to look up in the first place.
But he had to learn about mercy killing at some point.
Oh no! Kitties can be so cruel =(
I wouldn’t have been able to put it out of it’s misery either – so I don’t blame you!
may i add to the list of good things about living in a colder climate … no lizards! although, i did scream like a little girl last night when a moth landed on my laptop screen … critters!
I doubt I would have even been able to do that. Creepy crawly things tend to make me screetch and then try my best to pretend they’re not there.
I’m quite impressed on the action you took to remove the gecko, rather than merely laying there on your bed with one eye open toward the corner, as merely a precautionary measure of course…
I appreciate your tail of woe.
(rimshaw here)
Oh my. I hope my coworker doesn’t read this blog because I’m going to tell a synopsis of her story. She was traveling along back roads for work in a very large truck and hit a deer. Fortunately, the manly hunter man coworker she was traveling with was able to turn around and do “the right thing” with a large rock. I almost cried when she told me. That is definitely one of those “right things” that is so very, very difficult.
yikes. We used to get little lizards in the house from time to time when I lived in Georgia. I always took the same approach as I do with nasty bugs. I closed my eyes, prayed the little guys wouldn’t crawl on me in my sleep and left them to their own devices. All of which goes to say, you’re a braver lady than I.
There’s nothing worse than being reminded that your beloved pet is actually very much an animal. I once spent a good day totally depressed after my dog had bitten a frog, leaving it wounded in my garage. I was less sad that the frog was hurt than I was about the fact that my dog would do such a thing!
OMG!!! I dislike gecko’s greatly. My mother lives in Florida and her house seemingly becomes a refuge for every single one that lives in Florida when I come to visit. To me, they are little snakes with legs. Ugh. My mother moves them out of the house for me and will keep the doors shut and locked when I come so none can come in while I’m there. However, no matter my dislike for them, I do not want to do them harm, I just want them out of any space I may be inhabiting. Kudos to you for picking it up and putting it where you thought it would be safe. Blech.
Did Sir Hal get put in a time out?
Fear not, the tail will grow back. When my daughter was six she grabbed the iguana my son won at the county fair and the tail came off.
Talk about a scream. She laughs about it now, but she wasn’t laughing then.
This made my toes curl a little while I was reading it. I would NOT like having a lizard in my bedroom! But I also don’t like it when my kitties eat things…it is quite sad. Last week I went in the bathroom and found several spider legs strewn about the floor. Poor little arachnid didn’t stand a chance…
those little guys are all over the place here in Austin. i live on the 3rd floor of my apt complex and they are a regular site when i get home everyday. there have only been a few instances when they’ve gotten inside. i, like you, have ben merciful and just catch them and put them back outside. i think they’re cute from afar. our kitty wouldn’t know what to do with one -he layed in the living room and stared/poked at a dead bug for about an hour last night. he’s never really been outside.
Poor lizard! As much as we love them, kitties can be mean. I have to say though, that I do love the whole bug-eating thing cats do. It means I get to remain (for the most part) blissfully unaware of any little critters in my apartment.
Wow – you actually used your hands!? I would have freaked out at the feeling of it touching my skin. Poor gecko…
I live in MN and one January, I bought a plant at a local store. Because it was so freaking cold outside, the plant dropped a lot of leaves from shock the first week I had it. One day, as I was picking up the fallen leaves from my dining room floor, something moved underneath them. I freaked out, thinking it was a mouse but instead it was a brown gecko! Apparently, it had taken a ride on the plant up to MN in the back of a truck. I couldn’t figure out what the heck to do with it. My first inclination was to toss it outside but the idea of putting it outside to freeze in the snow was too impossibly cruel. So, I called a local pet store who told me to feed it live crickets (yuck) and I then gave it to a friend whose sons thought the gecko would be a great pet. They put it in an aquarium under warming lights. She soon found out that geckos make impossibly boring pets. They eventually gave it to another pet store that specialized in lizards and got a cat which was a lot more entertaining.
I used to live in a really run down apartment complex in Northern Virginia when I first got married. There was an incredible problem with bugs and the management wasn’t inclined to put much effort into getting rid of them. Instead we bought 4 house geckos and let them loose in our apartment. We would put out food for them and they lived quite happily with us for over a year. We lost them thanks to a very burly maintenance man that came to fix our stove. One look at the gecko on the patio door and he squealed like a girl and ran out the door. We had to give them up after that.
Awww. If it makes you feel any better, the only reason any gecko worth his … um … gecko-ness would venture into any location that housed a gecko-predator is usually because it’s just their time. When my family lived in South America many years ago, I had cats who thought that any creepy-crawlie venturing onto their turf had a death wish and who were they to deny them. It would be worse if the gecko starved to death because of a lack of food supply – this way, in the gecko-afterlife, he gets to tell a good story.
Lizards and geckos are nothing. It’s so heartbreaking to see your kitty come bounding across the yard with a baby bunny in it’s mouth. They are so excited to show you what they’ve found…. but ugh! Despite nearly crying every time (I used to raise bunnies!) I will assess the little one, either setting it free across the street if they *seem* well enough, or drowning the ones that have no hope (really quite awful). The worst is when they panic and scream…. stuff of nightmares!
Even so, the cats are always rewarded with treats for anything they bring home, I mean it’s their nature after all, what can you do? Then they’re grounded to the house for a day to prevent them from looking for their lost prize.
I remember at the age of nine, moving from Brooklyn to South Florida with my family. We pulled up in front of a small house we were renting. As I took my first step up the walkway to our new front door, I was sent into a frenzy when several lizards ran back and forth under my feet! I had never seen anything like it! (A tree may grow in Brooklyn but, there are no lizards attached! Ya know what I mean?!)
It wasn’t long before my fear wore off, as my cousins, who were born in Florida, taught me how to catch, play with and on certain occasions, torture the little guys. (Hey…we were kids!)
I eventually grew to accept the little critters and even came appreciate them when I learned that they prey on a far more undesirable vistor…the cockroach! (Ah Florida! Yea, those creatures were really new to me too at the time!)
Awwww, poor little guy! I think I’m going to choose to believe that he recovered a bit and got away – I mean, he made it up to your ceiling, right?
Oh, I do sympathize. My little hunter has brought us countless friends — from birds to chipmunks to skinks (a type of lizard, which also loses its tail in fright)to snakes (they make for a neat feline handlebar mustache), and in one particularly memorable incident, a pretty pissed off rat! Just this past weekend, she brought us a nest — yes, a NEST — with two baby birds who were only just starting to get their feathers. Last summer, we tried to rehabilitate a baby bird unsuccessfully. This time, since the nest was intact, we put the nest in a tree and hoped against hope that mother birds can sniff out their babies. Our kids — bless their little suburban hearts — are well acquainted with the circle of life, but it sure doesn’t make it any easier to live with.
My in-laws have kitties. Their last kitty used to quite constantly catch birds, gophers, and mice, and bring them to mom as a gift. It was icky. My hubby and his brothers always had to catch the poor animal and release it.
We have a silly skink that resides just outside the sliding glass door to the backyard. It parades back and forth in the sun, taunting Barley the Cat. One day, he accidentally got inside, and the adventure cost him a tail, but he made it back outside, where he continues to reign. He seems to know that, having gotten Barley from the Humane Society, where the previous owner dumped her with nary a claw to her name, she is rarely able to go outside. And so he parades in his neon blue glory.
He totally healed! Birds wouldn’t do that to an innocent little lizard.
Nature shows are tough, but not as bad as those Pedigree dog food commercials! Those are awful, they make me so sad!
Let me first say, your cats name, is awesome. I’ve read it a couple times before and always chuckle a little, because I have cats so I know how they can be, and that name fits so well…
I could imagine my cat doing that, and while I felt for the poor little lizard, your story and the way you told it, made me laugh. Thanks
Oh – That poor little guy. Cats/pets can be really evil that way. My dog was very proud of her most recent kill – a rat – in our small yard/patio. (I am a city girl) I guess it was a good thing….I washed her mouth out and my husband disposed of the almost dead body…shudder.
On the plus side – rats now avoid our yard.
I prefer to think that Mr. Gecko lived.
My puppy is useless when it comes to regular bug catching. I think he doesn’t like the feel of them squirming in his mouth. However, he’s won his ninja badge (they give those out in dog scouts, right?) for fly catching. He’s amazing with the pesky little things. Who knew?!
When I was housesitting last summer, I was getting ready to get into the shower when I looked over and saw this:
http://s67.photobucket.com/albums/h302/kk158462/Calaveras/?action=view¤t=frog2.jpg
Of course, the first thing I did was call my best friend so she could help me assess the situation. After chasing the little guy through the house, while I was naked, I got him into a trashcan with a magazine over the top and threw the whole damn thing outside. Unfortunately, I throw like a girl and he hit my car and … er … didn’t make it. I felt awful. Did I mention that I live in Calaveras County, Home of the Jumping Frog? Mark Twain must have been rolling over in his grave …
I used to live in Phoenix and in addition to the lizard-in-THE-BED incident I also had two run-ins with geckos. There was the squish-gecko-under-the-shoe (complete devastation) and the ack!-gecko-in-the-bath. I will elaborate upon the latter: I was relaxing in the tub only to look up and see a pinkish little gecko suctioned on the 90 degree angle between ceiling in wall. I watched him a moment convinced he would stay there long enough for me to rinse and get out. Nope, fell in the water. I freaked out, ran into the kitchen naked and found a cup, scooped him out and ran him outside – naked. Unfortunately, he drowned. I had hoped he was amphibious. Fortunately, it was late at night and no one saw me naked.
Oh this was so funny! Then it was sad. Poor gecko. My pets do the same thing.
I can relate!
My cat once dragged a big bird into the house and was batting it about like a toy. By the time I was able to catch them, the bird was in pretty rough shape. I used a plastic bad to pick it up (dog poop style), but also didn’t have the balls to put it out of its misery so just laid the bird on the picnic table in the yard. The next day it was gone… flown away or eaten by raccoons, I have no idea.
The things we do for pets!
You are so brave! Handling the lizard! When I lived in Louisiana, one hid in my purse while I was out. Once I was home, he scurried out as I was searching for my cell my phone and immediately disappeared under my couch. I freaked. All I could think of was a gecko crawling into my mouth while I was sleeping. I love animals, but that little guy being in my house creeped me out more than any bug ever did.
Fish, I wish I could be as committed to you at rescuing animals. A few weeks ago, I had a baby bird on my front yard. I tried to help him & even called The Responsible Pet Owners Alliance, but I think he knew he was the runt of the litter, because he wasn’t a fighter by any means. After a day or so he disappeared and I decided that ‘Yes, he was rescued by his mommy and is perfectly safe & happy in the trees.’ I still like to believe that version of the story…
I had a similar situation to Krissi’s in college. While in the bathroom, I realized that there was a frog in my toliet! (We think he climbed up the pipe/drain somehow.) Thankfully I lived with 2 guys at the time and put one of them to work wtih a net fishing the frog out of the toliet and setting him free. Meanwhile I hid on my bed face down, eyes covered. I hope the frog karma from years ago was with me on the bird this summer…
Ok I’ve never posted a comment before but I had to pass this along. Heather, I admit I laughed at this post, but never again will I laugh at a bug situation of yours. I’d never heard of one of these things until I read this. Then tonight I walked in my living room and saw one scurry across the floor. I immediately thought of you and the irony. I never caught the fella, but I can safely say that your posts are safe from my laughter because apparently if I laugh, IT WILL HAPPEN TO ME.
Ditto and ditto.
I’ve rescued semi-mutilated lizards on quite a few occasions from my predatory cats, though rescued is not really the truth. More like disposed of the half-skinned bodies, feeling awful and more awful about the poor things.
And yes, for the same reason, I do not watch Nat Geo or Discovery or if I do, I switch channels the second the predator seems to be gaining on the hapless gazelle.
Sigh. So much for the real world.
A weirder thing than just the tail moving about is having that tail be bright neon blue, like a lizard I was trying to catch in college. That’ll distract the hell out of you.
I can totally relate! I STEPPED on a lizard by accident in my garage a few weeks ago, and I think I am still traumatized. It did the whole detatch the tail thing, and it (the tail) sat there and squirmed around while I generally freaked out. Seriously… that is just a little disgusting.
Ever been pissed on by a gecko? Yes, it happened to me at the DINNER TABLE when I was about seven, and no, I’m not making this up!! *shudder*
Stepped on the tail of one in my bathroom (in AZ) tail detached and squirmed under my bare foot while he took off. There was lots of screaming. The wiggling tail was freaky. Never did find him, I’m assuming he got out the way he came in, whereever that was!
Detatchable tails?? That is freaky.
Not related to this post, but is On the Road with This Fish no more? I get this error when I click the link: Error establishing a database connection.
I’ve checked a few times this week too.
i read this yesterday and, of course, was very, very sad for the little gecko (i once stupidly watched a nature show where a lurking ‘gator ate a newborn hippo and cried for 15 minutes, then stupidly watched another one years later when a tigermom chased down and ate a poor innocent gazelle. oh the tears!).
so i drove home from work yesterday afternoon and saw a paddling of ducks crossing the road…and a car heading straight for them. flashing my lights didn’t stop the phone-talking lady from catching one under her car and breaking its neck…and driving away. i bawled!, turned around, thought of your post, and worked with two others to move the eventually deceased beautiful bird to the side of the road. then we assisted the rest of them from crossing four lanes of traffic (during rush hour!). i was sad all night.
If I were in trouble and required back up, it’s such a toss up… Sidney Bristow or Hal. I think Hal. I know Hal’s tongue and that ****’s no joke. Lethal!
A chipmunk somehow got into our house last summer and while we tried to chase it out the door (those suckers are FAST)he eventually came to a pause in the middle of a sticky mouse trap. After trying to pull him free, while he SCREAMED I might add, certain appendages started to detach (a tail first, then a leg). At that point I was sobbing and my poor husband had to put the little guy out of his screaming misery. I just wanted to chase him out of my house! I had no idea the event would lead to his demise. Talk of chipmunks is still off-limits in our house. I have yet to recover.
Earlier this summer, I “encouraged” a baby opossum acrose the yard, through the fence, and safely away from the pooch . . . just to deliver it to a neighborhood cat. sigh.
I hate seeing things like that!
I work at a resort where there happeneds to be a lot of bunnies in the spring hopping around.
One summer I was walking by the Jacuzzi spa and a Bunny ran right into the Spa! We turned off the water and we were able to get the poor thing out but it was too late it had drowned!!
I think the worst is that there was an older woman with a younger boy I think her grandson. She turned to him and said
“Well I don’t think the easter bunny will be coming this year” !!!! OMG he cried and she laughed! horrible I tell you Horrible!
Yes, I have had cats who would bring home mice, bunnies, etc…the worst was when my old cat brought home just the HEAD of a bunny. I was sick.
Also, just Tuesday, I was mowing the lawn and I ran the mower under the tree and when I pulled it back out I saw something funny looking. Upon closer inspections I saw that it was half of a toad! I big, fat juicy toad that I completely severed with the lawn mower! My stomach cramped up and I almost lost my lunch right there.
One more….my hubby’s brother was outside working with a hammer one day and he saw a bunny in a field eating. I don’t know WHY, but he decided to toss his hammer towards the bunny to scare it, not thinking it would ever hit him…but it did. Hard. The bunny hopped twice and then fell down, panting. They put it in the dumpster. I was pissed for a good year over that.
well, for the love of…!!! i MUST stop reading all of these comments! :,-(
Seriously, i read this right before trying to go to sleep last night…BAD idea:) I spent the majority of the night convinced
that there were lizards somewhere in the bedroom and more importantly in my bed:) It was like watching a scary movie then trying to go to sleep…but the story was great
Years ago I went to GA with a friend to visit her BF. They were in the bedroom shall we say “getting aquainted” and I was out in the livingroom with a few other friends.
A house gecko started going across the coffee table, which freaked me out. I tried to catch it with a glass….. well the gecko was longer than the glass was wide. The side of the glass squished the gecko’s face and his jaw was stuck open…. GAG! I thought I was going to die.
But then he took off, mouth hanging open and ran right under the door into the bedroom! The guys sitting out with me were cracking up, I was mortified. But we never mentioned it to the couple in the bedroom.
You’re funny. Also, I’d just like to say that the Yellow Pages advertisement that sometimes appears on your site has a logo that, alarmingly enough, looks, especially after reading this, like a gecko on the run.
I am oddly comforted by the knowledge that I’m not the only one that gets truly upset about things like this. I too cannot tolerate the animal programs, it’s just so heart wrenching to see. On the other hand, now that you’ve put this out there and I’ve read it you’re one of those animal programs and I feel bad for your little gecko!!
My cat used to be an in and outdoor cat- I can’t tell you the number of chipmunks and baby snakes I’ve had to chase out of the house. Needless to say she no longer goes outside. I have also assumed that any of these injured creatures managed to heal themselves and go along their way. I empathize with you!
Totally unrelated but what happened to Azure and Coincidence on the Favorite Posts list…?
I don’t know! Let me find out. Maybe iVillage changed the number of favorites in the sidebar when they did the redesign a few months ago.
Can totally sympathize with this story — esp. the being freaked out part. I used to live in a rural area and came home one nite to discover a bat in my living room.
Had no idea what to do with it or about it. I ended up totally wimping out and calling a neighbor over, who, bless his heart, was willing to take care of the problem.
Turned out all for the good — bat ended up surviving the ordeal and flew away immediately after being taken outside and my house was bat-free again.
However, I have to admit, for weeks afterward, when I’d come home at nite, I’d take my flashlight and walk through each room of the house, looking into the corners and eaves of the ceiling, to make sure there were no more bats around! lol
Here’s your Gecko. He’s making his way to the Gulf, David Attenborough following.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/smurfnit/2710275059/
Hope you feel better now Heather. To CaliGal. A tree may grow in Brooklyn but I hate water bugs. I don’t know if cats can do them justice.
Wow! This just happened to me the other night in my entry hall. I was trying to catch it before the dog noticed it, but when I did grab for it, the tail came off and it laid there squirming! I never knew where the lizard went!
“Holy sh!t!,” I typed into my phone. “There’s a gecko in my bedroom!”
This caught my interest…who did you type it to??