I’m just in from a night that should have lasted much longer. But the wine was making me sleepy, and the bar, packed too tightly with Frat Daddies and the girls fighting to be noticed by them, made me lust for home where there were pajamas and fresh mozzarella and a bottle of Riesling.
I overbooked my weekend. Beginning with Friday night, I had it all planned out down to the half-hours (including estimated cab times between events), and I fairly certain I’d be able to do it all. I was prepared to be a one-woman social whirlwind.
Then along came a spider.
I woke up Friday morning not feeling well. Not wretchedly ill, but achy and nauseated and not inclined to go to work feeling that way. Knowing it would be a slow day at the office, I took the opportunity to catch up on some sleep and battle whatever flu bug was trying to take over. I volleyed between the bathroom and my bed all morning. My left arm was numb, evidence, I thought, of having slept heavily the night before. But when I got out of bed in earnest sometime late in the afternoon, my arm was still tingling and I was feverish.
A shower would be just the thing, I thought.
As I peeled off my clothes, I caught a glimpse of my forearm in the bathroom mirror. It was twice its normal size and an angry red, radiating in a bull’s-eye pattern. I stood there for a minute in shock. I touched it. I made that mistake only once.
Long story short: Emergency room. Shot. God, do I hate needles. Lots of sleep.
I’m feeling much better and my arm looks almost normal. I’m a bit concerned about permanent tissue death — tissue death!– which my friendly ER doc said was possible. I am also battling a bit of resentment concerning Sir Hal, whose job it is to EAT such creatures that venture into my apartment.
So now, I’m going to take a night in to eat some cheese, drink some wine and have a serious chat with my derelict kitten about pest control.
Ewww, I hate spiders. I love your blog but I’m sorry, this post gives me the creeps. Til next time and sleep tight.
now heather, while the planning was not down to 15 minute bits, i still fear that you may be picking up mom’s knack for scheduling. it worries me. i’m all for planning, just make sure you don’t print out your night’s plans and give copies to all your friends.
Holy Crap! Well, I’m not sleeping tonight. My kitties don’t eat the bugs I want them to either. Mainly, they prefer flies. Maybe it’s the wings. Mabye they’re tastier.
Damn! Was it a brown recluse? Those aren’t popular in your neck of the woods, but what kind of freaking spider was it? Yuck! I’m not going to sleep well tonight.
oh, jeez. i hope you’re arm’s completely healed soon. As a former EMT, though, i can tell you that Riesling is the correc – hiccup – t prescription. Although, if it were me, I’d pick at the bite until it looked like a bullet wound. You know, for the pickup lines and whatnot.
They say that (correct me if I’m wrong) in our lifetime we will swallow, on average, 17 insects and 1 spider in our sleep.
Jack I have read that as well…. *gulp* hmmmm…yummy scrummy bugs…
*cough*
The spider thing was a figure of speach, no?
Not that I don’t believe you, but you should have taken a photo ..of yourself standing nakid in the bathroom!
I was conserned right up to the part you mentioned peeling off your cloths, after that you lost me 
Lost cat.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
We don’t have dangerous things in the UK, if you don’t count the natives. My cats eat anything that crosses their path, except birds thankfully. But I don’t like them killing spiders. I feel guilty for the spider…hmm.
I hope you get better soon, if the ‘friendly ER doc’ hasn’t worried you into paranoia by now…
Wow. My sympathies. My mother got bitten on the big toe by a brown recluse at the beach when I was 13, and she ended up in the hospital and almost lost the toe. I sometimes think the world’s insects must be extraordinarily forbearing, because they could make short work of us if they chose….
True story: I woke up with a dead spider in my ear once. Seriously. I rolled over to look at my boyfriend and he said, “hold still.” I did and out pulled a spider from my ear opening.
Yes, after that I believe that do eat spiders in our sleep.
oh dear lawd, H. I will now NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!
thanks.
We missed you on Friday.
oh i hope you’re feeling better and that you’re arm is back to a normal size
i read once that if you piled all of humanity on a scale and weighed it, and then did the same with all of the bugs, that the bugs would outweigh humanity eight to one, so just multiply your weight by eight and that’s how many bugs could be coming for you (okay. diagram THAT sentence).
My wishes to you for a speedy recovery
I hope your arm falls off.
what a horrible thing to say, rocco.
i don’t think you should be mad at sir hal because if he would have ate it or got bit he’d be dead.
i really hate spiders. always have.
they are the only thing I am scared of, really.
besides commitment.
Careful that it wasn’t a tick, the mark sounded suspicious. Watch for lyme disease symptoms; it’s not fatal but there’s no cure.
Hate, hate, hate reading this. I worry about this stuff all the time, but I always told myself that I’d feel if something was crawling on me. Can you buy those mosquito nets for a bed here in the US?
Feel better soon!!!
Poor girl! I hope you’re feeling better. And Sir Hal better get to work.
Omg. UGH!
Glad you did what you needed to. Hope all goes well.
Sorry to have missed you.
oh my god. i didn’t know those were in new york …
something new to worry about. I hope your arm doesn’t fall off.
ewe, yuk! i hate spiders almost as much as i hate frat boys. hope you get to feeling better soon….
Hope your arm gets better soon.
ew. Did you get bitten by a brown recluse?
Good thing you caught it soon though.. there are horrendous pics on the web of people who let those things fester.
Hope you feel better soon!
I just wanted to say that bullet wounds don’t make for good pick up lines. (In response the the 5th comment from the top)
Tissue death? Geez…
::shudder:::
If you’re really serious about insect protection, you should consider a mongoose. Those things don’t mess around.
I don’t think Hal would take well to being upgraded…
Another insect protector (in both senses of the phrase) would be a praying mantis. I remember the drawing in “Insects Do the Strangest Things” where the kid had one tied by string to his bedpost. Maybe you could do something like that.
Where you’d GET the praying mantis I have no idea. Maybe pet stores sell them.
ugh ugh ugh. spiders! in my husband’s old bachelor pad i used to get bit by mosquitos during the night and wake up itchy with hives. awful. your’s sounds ten times worse. congrats.
maybe you could show hal pictures of spiders to get him familiarized
EAT THESE, KITTY!!