It’s Monday morning. Do you know where your shit is?
Normally, my shit is so together that it’s stacked in the fridge in portion-controlled Tupperware, or folded and packed into my gym bag by the front door. It’s color-coded, labled and organized for space and time efficiency.
But not this morning. Oh no.
In the last six days, I haven’t managed to buy a single grocery item, so my breakfast this morning was yogurt of questionable age and a rather squishy kiwi fruit. Lunch will have to be something from the deli, most likely containing three days worth of my government recommended daily allowance of sodium. I can’t find my sunglasses. My socks don’t match and I’m pretty sure that because of an oversight in packing, I’ll be going commando at the gym.
But on the upside, The Rage is gone. Finally.
On a day-to-day basis, I’m a fairly even tempered female and with the exception of a bizarre head-butting incident in front of Pete’s Candy Store, I don’t have a lot of experience with losing my shit. I did have a panic attack once, though. It lasted ten minutes. And during that ten minutes, I became convinced that I was going to die if it didn’t stop. Now, drag that feeling out for approximately three weeks, and you get a sense of my experience with The Rage. It was like choking down a PMS-claustrophobia-insomnia omelet for breakfast every morning. For almost a month.
Jen and I met at Starbucks yesterday to review plans and maps for our Costa Rica trip (t-minus seven days!) and we got to talking about The Rage. She said it’s just something that comes with living in New York – sharing your breathing space with just one person too many for just one day too many. You just eventually get so bent out of shape that you snap. The girl’s got ten years of New York under her belt, so I’m not going to question her wisdom.
I will, however, look into purchasing a sensory deprivation chamber. Because, frankly, I don’t think I can handle losing my shit like that again. It takes me way too long to get it all back into its properly labeled, 12oz, color-coded containers.
(P.S. iVillage has turned on “Comment Moderation” which means there will be a lag time between you posting and your comment showing up. But don’t worry, it will. This, by the way, is a good thing. It will mean I can leave comments on whilst I am away in the jungle and not free to check for iVillage no-no’s like the c-word, spam comments, or irresponsible criticism of our nation’s government. I kid about the government thing. We all know that Bush blows.)
Commando to the gym, a slippery slope. Not that you have to worry about “dropping a walnut” during an intense game of raquetball…not that I know anyone who had that problem, once, maybe, per se…Anyway Costa Rica! Can’t you get a lobster there for a dollar? Yeah, that should be fun.
Welcome back.
I get the Rage in London too. I was once a mild-mannered kiwi girl. Now you just watch it if you don’t step aside when I want to get off the tube!
ha! feces is funny. yeah, i was born in the city (washington dc) but i sure can’t take living in one anymore. costa is cool. i suggest tamarindo. bring insect repellent
The Rage has lasted eleven years for me… good ole New York.
You just brought up something I never even realized that I had… or have… but it’s true it’s true! I get ‘The Rage’ on my daily commute on the 7 train to 5th ave making my way up the stairs… or the 6. That is really a train full of rage.
Until now I thought it was normal… and now I do realize that it is a very normal part of being a NYer.
Now you’ve got to tell us the story about the head-butting incident.
Please?
Why do you think so many people run around the reservior and wear iPods all day?
Glad to hear you’re feeling better:)
You must be wicked psyched for your trip. I totally feel like, half the fun of a trip is the exciting anticipation of it.
Sucks about the commando gym thing- can you wear what you have on now?
OMG! You are so right! I’ve lived in New York for a mere 1.5 years, and the Rage has taken up residence in me. I lived in London before this, but it wasn’t half as bad as NYC. Something about this city in particular. . .
The Rage is not unique to New York. I live in Texas and experienced The Rage myself for the better part of the last month. I think unfortunately it is one of those things that happens to all of us women from time to time; I have very good friends, also not residing in NY who suffer from the Rage from time to time.
Best we can do is grit our teeth, grab on for dear life, and pray we don’t kill anyone. I’m glad your Rage is gone, its a wonderful feeling when it is.
Sandra…I’m right there with you in regards to London. And with it being so dark now, the RAGE builds. I’ve gotten a technique going of just busting through people if they stand in my way coming off tubes & trains. And giving ‘the look’…it’s a killa. But as a therapist I’m not allowed to show the Rage, so I just take it out by going to the gym, eating chocolate and taking lots of baths.
Glad to hear that your Rage is gone Heather!
Just when I find you, you’re leaving? Jeez, I hope that isn’t a metaphor for my future dating life.
Bust..I just wrote about the c-word.
I feel ya. I definitely did not have my crap altogether this morning. I left my apartment late, forgot to pack a few items, and almost missed my flight. Yet mysteriously, I didn’t feel rushed. I remember whistling some Christmas tune while waiting in line to take my shoes off at the security checkpoint. Odd, huh?
Don’t you worry, Jewess. I’m going to try to finagle blogging from my PDA. Or find some internet cafes. And if not, you know what they say about absence and hearts and fondness and all that.
I used to get “The Rage” regularly when I lived at home (my dad is a minister, and people used to think they OWNED the whole family because he was “their” minister…..).
I still get it once and a while, but every now and then, temper tantrums help….
Glad you’re feeling better, and have a GREAT time in Costa Rica!!
Seven days!!!! wow, so close. I’m jealous, I have to wait until February. I hope you have a wonderful time! I’m glad your **** came together before the trip. Welcome back!! It’s good to read ya again
“If you’re not mad as hell, you must be drunk.”
I think rage against this machine is a true sign of intelligence, Fish.
Seven days before vacation…yep that’s about when I tend to lose my ability to function. It’s “vacation brain,” and also the realization that I have WAY more to accomplish than I possibly can in 7 days and will likely have several more piles of things awaiting me when I return. Blame it on the vacation.
You’ll love Costa Rica, it’s so laid back. Just don’t waste your vacation in San Jose, there is so much more to the country. Have Fun!
I live in Boston, and though haven’t quite hit The Rage yet, I have been known to stay home on a Saturday, stay in my PJs all day, and not speak to a single sole–internet, tv, movies, read, eat–its amazing what you can do in a 700 sq. foot condo all alone. And amazing how refreshing it is to just completely chill. Sounds like your vacation is just in time, have a blast.
C-WORD!
Ack! Lookatthisface person! I went to hit “publish” and moronically hit “delete.”
I am sorry. Please feel free to re-comment. Also feel free to call me a moron.
A head-butting incident? Details please.
Hi Fish –like some other comments said, the Rage is definitely not limited to New York! Maybe it was something in the air this last little while since, all the way over here in Amsterdam, I was also suffering from a hard core case of “I-think-I-could-kill-someone-with-my- bare-hands” syndrome.
But….good news, it left me as suddenly and unpredictably as it came.
Hang in there, you’re only human!!!
Jen’s right. I know The Rage well. I’m pretty pissed off a lot of the time and have been known to curse indiscriminately. You know this. 11 years of New York livin’ has turned me into a tough cookie. I suggest more yoga.
Hmm.. many people I know avoid The Rage by spending as little time in cars as possible. Bicycles and walking (and even the bus , provided you have the correct attitude and perhaps some headphones) seem to help with avoiding rage.
Love your writing. Especially girl, you’ll be a woman. write for us. http://www.girlphyte.com
I get the rage every few holidays. I stay home and eat frozen turkey dinners.