February 16, 2004

say you're sorry, cbs

CBS is once again busy handing out apologies, and I'd like to get in on that action.

I'd like my apology to be issued on an white linen 4x6 card, embossed with the CBS logo and signed by the following:

At least one member of the current Survivor cast
David Letterman
Marg Helgenberger (or suitable CSI replacement)
Paul from As the World Turns (I don't care what his real name is and I don't want to know, so if he could just sign it "Paul," previous to rubbing it on his manly chest, that would be fine.)

I haven't decided what to be offended over yet, but while everyone is getting apologies, I don't want to be left out.

First this whole Janet fiasco... I'd have gotten on board with that woman suing on behalf of the American public, but instead of being offended, I was slightly turned on. And I'm sure that would have come out in court and ruined everything. And now, the Native America Cultural Center is upset about OutKast's Jell-o green Indian motif outfits during the Hey Ya! performance. And while I thought Lime Jell-o would be the first to throw a fit, it seems the NACC is really in a tizzy.

Perhaps I'd better pre-empt the NACCs wrath by issuing my own apology regarding those occasions I wore turquoise jewelry during my prairie skirt phase. I'm sorry. Really. But come on, it did seem cool at the time.

I guess none of us should be surprised when there's some big Ophthalmologic uprising over the fact that CBS doesn't use an anatomically correct model of the eye for its logo.

Posted by This Fish at February 16, 2004 12:04 PM
Comments

I could arrange for an apology card signed by "Paul", though it probably won't be the same one...

Posted by: Frankenstein at February 16, 2004 12:11 PM

me too, me too.

oh, and, "That creepy eye!"

Posted by: Paul Gutman at February 16, 2004 12:49 PM

How 'bout, in lieu of a signed apology, you accept a bunch of free Lime Jell-O (and some vodka) from CBS?

Hey, everyone -- Jell-O shots at Fish's house tonight!

Posted by: Lex at February 16, 2004 02:21 PM

I love it! Totally hilarious.

See my website for my own eyeball question.

I too was confused by the boob flash, but it did refute the fact that Janet was really Micheal in drag or did it???

Posted by: Fletch at February 16, 2004 05:35 PM

As someone else pointed out (oh but how I wish I had): it's ok to go start a war based on a complete LIE, in which many, many innocent people are killed, but we can't show a boob on TV. People may be offended. Way to go America!

Posted by: saara at February 16, 2004 06:44 PM

Paul is quite the hottie.

Posted by: girlie at February 16, 2004 07:14 PM

Which Paul?

Posted by: Frankenstein at February 16, 2004 10:35 PM

Yeah, which one?

Posted by: Paul Gutman at February 16, 2004 11:39 PM

I've had many a childhood nightmare about "that eye." I didn't watch CBS for the longest time because of it.

Posted by: tab at February 17, 2004 11:44 AM

excellent post by the way.

Posted by: hubs at February 18, 2004 01:27 PM

thanks :)

Posted by: Fish at February 18, 2004 01:42 PM