My new laptop is sitting in a cardboard box directly to my left. Yes, exactly where the flowers had been. No, it doesn’t smell nearly as nice, but damn if it isn’t just as distracting. I want to open it right now – to tear off that tape and get my hot little hands all over the portable computing goodness. I want to plug it in. I want to move my iTunes. I want to download and upload and type.
I want to blog on my new machine.
Alas, I cannot. I must sit here and imagine my sweet new notebook pawing to be let out of its box like a squeaky Christmas puppy. I’m consumed (consumed!) by the temptation to leap out of my seat and scream, "It can’t breathe!” whilst setting it free it in a dramatic mess of cords and accessories.
I keep telling myself to be patient. Work will end soon. Then, my precious, we will be together.
I have plans tonight. In my mania, I’ve thought about asking my date if he doesn’t mind if the new baby comes, too. You know, just three of us. Or, alternatively, not asking and hoping he doesn’t notice the awkward bulge under my coat.
Date: What’s that hump on your back?
Quasimodo Heather: Don’t stare! I just want to lead a normal life!
Overboard? Maybe. I’ve been known to be a bit obsessive. Like that time in the second grade when my aunt bought me a new swimsuit and I wore it under my clothes for three days before my parents caught on and took it away. There have been similar obsessions over a training bra, Peaches n Cream Barbie and an iPod.
I suppose that’s a quirk I should consider outgrowing. Eventually.
i've never had the pleasure of a laptop (at least not one of my very own), but i totally relate to the obsession over something new. the loml reminds me that i go overboard whenever there's anything new in my life (except unemployment). i'm a binary individual. i think you should just stay up all night and play.
i just love your blog, such consistently good, witty writing.
Posted by: ropedancer at March 2, 2005 02:21 PMYay! Enjoy the new baby!!!
Posted by: Wicked H at March 2, 2005 02:47 PMYAY! i love new toys!! and i think it's okay to obsess about good things. hell, i visit your website every day! :)
Posted by: red at March 2, 2005 02:52 PMYou have way more patience then I. Work or not, I would have had that box torn open in a million pieces ... pictures, I want to see picture of your new baby!!!
Posted by: Jen at March 2, 2005 03:15 PMand who says that adults don't have toys...hope you have fun...what'd you end up getting?
Posted by: ak at March 2, 2005 03:15 PMLOL! Peaches n Cream Barbie--I had that very same obsession!
Posted by: pinky at March 2, 2005 03:30 PMNothing wrong with going overboard with new toys. We all do it.
Posted by: siana at March 2, 2005 03:33 PMEh? Aye.. awright dear, whatever!
Way to slide in there that you are going on a date. Were the beautiful flowers from Jim?
Hope you have a great time!
Cheers,
AK
No you shouldn't outgrow it! Passionate is good.
Posted by: Robin Alexa at March 2, 2005 03:56 PMJim?? HA! Oh, Jim Dear is the name of the man in Lady and the Tramp.
And yes, he did. ;)
Oh, how I adored the Peaches n Cream Barbie.
Posted by: Kat at March 2, 2005 04:08 PMAaaahhh new laptop... it has been ages since I felt that thrill and I am starting to get itchy to feel it again! There's nothing better than getting a new laptop. I love setting up and 'moving in'. Bliss. :)
We must be geeks. :I
Posted by: AdventureGirl at March 2, 2005 04:09 PMNow that you're ensconced with your new love, I'm never going to see you again, am I?
Posted by: Ari at March 2, 2005 04:19 PMOnly if it starts learning how to cook, Ari. ;)
Posted by: Fish at March 2, 2005 04:22 PMAre you going to give it a name? How about Lappy?
Posted by: mrsmogul at March 2, 2005 04:46 PMmy darling fish -- you have not mentioned what kind of laptop you purchased...mac? pc?
Posted by: S at March 2, 2005 05:01 PM"It?"
And seriously, what a cultural faux pas on the Jim Dear thing. My bad.
it's like we're the same person, fish. i, as well, have at various times been mildly obsessed with training bras and peaches'n'cream barbie. it's not as sick as it might sound.
okay, it is.
Posted by: brando at March 2, 2005 05:10 PMAh yes... new laptops... My wife new once it arrived that she would not see me for days. I showed her, I waited at LEAST 5 seconds before opening the box and obsessing over it's amazing powers!
And too true, nice way to slip in the line about going on a date. Your reading public is much to wise to miss that little tidbit of info...
Posted by: Matt at March 2, 2005 05:16 PMDon't ever outgrow it. Peaches N Cream was the best, and I definitely would have gone to prom '96 in that gown if I could have.
You are going to LOVE that computer. G4?
Posted by: PLD at March 2, 2005 06:07 PMI got my new 15" Powerbook just last week and the whole office stared as I dragged the huge cardboard box up the stairs and to my desk.
Working at a web design company is interesting... my workmates wanted to open the box more than I did. So I gave in and played around all day. It's fun blogging from the lap!
Posted by: Jack at March 2, 2005 06:24 PMoh a new lappytoppy! how thrilling. ditch the date. a girl has got to have priorities!
i too had a brief obsession with my ipod. we have now developed a more healthy relationsip. it's better for everyone.
but it is sooo pretty.
Posted by: honestyrain at March 2, 2005 06:40 PMas the saying goes: "don't go changing"
Posted by: jason at March 2, 2005 07:29 PMI got a Sony Flat Pannel last week at work, moral was boosted 1000%. Plus, I'm thinking of having my Dell-pod surgically implanted, so obsess away. Not like the laptop won't be extremely useful. Next there will be Blackberries and Blueteeth and you'll be on the electronic leash, obsessing about crap you don't really give two poops for (read: work). So enjoy the obsessions whilst they are enjoyable.
Posted by: Mike at March 2, 2005 07:48 PMI have never commented here, and maybe I missed the most important detail like, what's the sex and what's the name, so....what's the sex and what's the name?
However, let me clarify. Although I never comment here, and maybe lack the relevance to interject my humble opinion, but if you birthed anything other than a powerbook (the inches of your choice. I am a 12in. man. Size isn't everything), well than, in this case, out with the bath-water, I say.
Posted by: joel at March 2, 2005 08:41 PMI forgot all about Peaches N Cream Barbie! She was taken away from me once as punishment because I wouldn't clean my room. Her nose was chewed off by a mouse while she was in time out, but she was still my favorite.
Maybe you could tell your date that your laptop suffers from separation anxiety so you HAVE to take it along even though you so don't want to. Great post!
Posted by: Amber at March 2, 2005 09:37 PMThis was so incredibly funny, I read it twice, laughing hysterically. I just got my new baby this Christmas. My pure, pristine ibook. Oh its perfection! I've nicknamed mine the "ice cube".
Wishing you and your new baby many wonderful deskless years of bliss. Congrats!
Peaches'n'Cream was my first Barbie... I loved her. And I had the same obsession with my first pair of Jellies when I was 7; I wore them to sleep and my parents were a little perturbed. Nice to know someone else was just as silly.
Posted by: Molly at March 3, 2005 12:03 AMOMG!!!! Peaches N Cream Barbie was my first barbie too! Nice to know that there are an army of Peaches N Cream fans out there :)
Congrats on the new laptop--I got mine a month ago and I'm still in the "infatuation" stage...
Posted by: glovefox at March 3, 2005 02:23 AMI should have warned you! Anyone considering buying an ipod has to be prepared that soon after they will probably want to buy a new computer to support it... I did the same thing!
Posted by: elise at March 3, 2005 04:15 AMi think it's beautiful to obsess about the little things that make us happy.
Enjoy!
i love the swimsuit under the clothes! i once wore my new cowboy boots to bed every night for a week... "but mom,real cowboys always sleep with their boots on."
rp.
A new laptop? God, who could blame you for wanting to lug it everywhere? Go ahead, carry it under your clothes. I'm sure once your date sees the new baby, he'll understand.
Posted by: Spring at March 3, 2005 11:25 AMAh I can totally relate to that one. I think I am still five in the need or want to take my newest purchased possessions places with me. If it's something obviously not portable then I want to stay at home and bunk off work to be with whatever it is or cancel a date to stay at home with my new precious so I can stare at it starrey eyed. Glad I'm not the only one who hasn't grown out of this trait!
Posted by: Charlie at March 3, 2005 11:43 AMTest
Posted by: Fish at March 4, 2005 09:55 PMI would have killed to own the Peaches N' Cream Barbie gown. I still would.
Posted by: BOB at March 5, 2005 08:43 PMoh Fish? This entry was by far one of the funniest and wittiest i've read in a while :)
Posted by: S at March 5, 2005 10:25 PM